Tuesday, April 8, 2014

business as usual

The weekend after Matt and I returned from our honeymoon, I was stricken with sickness in the form of a cough and congestion.  Initially I thought it was simply a cold, but when I was still feeling lousy two weeks later and waking up several times each night coughing, I suspected it was something more serious. 

Memories of happier times...

But did the persistent symptoms and sleepless nights cause me to call the doctor?  Of course not.  I didn't make that call until I had a coughing fit in Target that was so bad I had to leave.  Apparently I can put up with sleepless nights, but clearly being interrupted while shopping that is a situation that requires some sort of urgent remedy via a medical professional.

I left work early the very next afternoon to head to the doctor.  In the exam room I highlighted the coughing spells and made sure to add some extra drama, and even told the doctor that due to a neighbor's faulty home alarm system we were sleeping with two very loud fans in our bedroom, and my coughing still woke both me and Matt.

She asked me if I ever gasped for air during the coughing and while technically I hadn't, I hesitated with my answer just long enough to put some reasonable doubt in her mind.

The doctor checked me out and then diagnosed me with a sinus infection.  She wrote a prescription for the sinus infection but not the cough, so I asked her if she had an over the counter alternative she'd recommend. 

"Well," she said, "honey sure works great."

Doc, I haven't slept a solid night in two weeks between my neighbor's faulty alarm system and my moderate to severe cough.  I am looking for a prescription for Robitussin with codeine and authorization for a refill or five.

Apparently my cough wasn't bad enough to warrant a prescription, but I hightailed it to CVS to pick up my other prescription and a large bottle of honey - NATURE'S COUGH SUPPRESSANT.

In the interest of full disclosure, I also picked up two Reese's Easter eggs on my way to the pharmacy counter to get my medicine, which turned out to be in the form of a NASAL SPRAY.


Matt called as I was walking to my car, and the timing of his call was perfect because I was able to share with him the wonderful news that his new bride would be self-administering a nasal spray every hours hours around the clock for the foreseeable future.

I've never been so attractive.

It turns out that I wasn't the only one having a bad day.  Matt was calling to see if I could "come save him at Acme," where he'd unfortunately found himself at the end of the checkout line with a basket full of food and no wallet. 

Last week was not our week.

I'm happy to report things are going much better this week.  

Although, there was really nowhere to go but up.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

the first half of his name was right

My sister was in a school play called "Smile" this weekend.  My parents put an ad in the program from them, my brother Philip and his fiance Alex, and me and Matt.  

Except the program typist typed "Mary" instead of "Matt."

Welcome to the family.


Thursday, April 3, 2014

i really do love where we're living

Matt and I are currently renting a condo while we save for a house and get adjusted to the whole BEING MARRIED thing.  The condo is on the small side but it's nice, and we can look out our windows and see beautiful, old, tall trees and a lake, and every night we walk six minutes to the woods where we hike on a trail along the creek and that is what I imagine heaven is like.  However, it turns out that the actual CONDO LIVING thing is requiring far more of an adjustment than we anticipated.

One thing we are learning is that the electricity goes out here on a regular basis.  And by regular, I mean a few times a week around 10:30 or 11 at night.  It's never off for too long, but always long enough to reset the clocks on the microwave and oven.  It went off this past Monday, and when everything kicked back on and reset, so did our neighbor's home alarm system.  Evidently those neighbors were on vacation because the alarm went off at any time that ended in 3 or 8 straight through until yesterday.

The alarm wasn't a problem when we were home during the evening, because we were busy and talking and hardly noticed it.  However, it was so loud when we were trying to fall asleep that Matt wanted to call the police the other night.  After some discussion we decided that a call to local law enforcement was too drastic a measure, so we resorted to sleeping with two fans on full blast all night to drown out the alarm system. 

The alarm situation came to a glorious end last night.  Matt went to bed early because HELLO, PEACEFUL, UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP, but I stayed up to watch some Fox News and paint my nails a lovely shade of Lacey Lilac.  And that's when the channel on the tv changed from Fox News to The Big Bang Theory. 

With the remote control on the coffee table. 

I picked the remote up, and changed it back to my show. 

And then the tv changed back to The Big Bang Theory.

And what ensued what a television battle with an unidentified neighbor who was intent on watching some Big Bang Theory.

Evidently someone in our complex has a remote control that controls our television.  And we control theirs.

Which is terribly convenient.

Here's the thing.  In order to make a cell phone call from our condo, you practically have to wait until the third Tuesday of the month and then hang your head out the window and stand on one foot and turn around three times while crossing your fingers. 

We have TERRIBLE cell phone service due to what is apparently a roof and walls made of concrete.  Yet our tv remote control powers right through that concrete and puts a major kink in the Wednesday evening television plans.

The silver lining is that these tv channel battles won't go on forever. 

Sooner or later the electricity is bound to go off. 

Monday, March 31, 2014

i'm back, and i'm married

When I started this little blog I named it Oh Laura Darling because I had the dream of one day marrying a man with the last name Darling.  I have a different last name now, but it's not Darling.  And I couldn't be happier about that.

My mom told me I need to write a post about the wedding but I struggle with writing about The Big Things.  My wheelhouse is more stories about something crazy that happened while I was grocery shopping or how I spilled coffee with a significant amount of peppermint mocha creamer all over my desk at work (true story coming soon to a blog near you).

March 8th was the best and most perfect day I could have imagined.  When it was all over that night I was standing in front of the mirror taking off my veil (and removing the fake hair that made my fancy low bun so voluminous) and I started to cry.  I am not typically a crier, so Matt came right in and asked, "Are you okay?" and I sobbed, "YES, I'M FINE.  I'M JUST SO HAPPY.

Luckily for Matt I've managed to keep my tears and my fake hair in check since March 8th.  But I am still just so happy.  

And just in case anyone was wondering what it looks like when the bride's wedding ring is dropped during the ceremony, allow me to show you...

Luckily the ring was located so we were able to get to the important part...


Saturday, February 15, 2014

eye yi yi

Well, I woke up this morning and made the unfortunate discovery that my left eye was red and bloodshot and sore.  Over the past week I’ve been getting a lot of mileage out of the joke that “these Olympics have ‘costas’ an eye,” but now I’m regretting every single time I said that.  

I’m getting married three weeks from today, and I can’t afford to have some sort of strange medical malady on March 8th.  It was bad enough that I went to the dentist for a cleaning last week and my jaw popped out of place after my fluoride treatment.  I immediately called the hygienist to inform her that SOMETHING WAS AMISS and she came over, inspected, and calmly said, “Ahh, yes, I see.  The mandible has simply disengaged.”

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you could re-engage it please because SPEAKING OF ENGAGED, I’M GETTING MARRIED IN A MONTH AND MY MANDIBLE NEEDS TO BE IN TIP TOP CONDITION.”

Actually, my dentist appointment was doomed from the start. I got a phone call, text message, and email confirming the day and time, and I wrote it on my calendar for Tuesday night at 5:45.  I upped my brushing and flossing game in the days leading up the appointment and by Tuesday afternoon I was ready for the big moment. 

I fought rain and rush hour traffic and walked into the extremely crowded dentist office, battle worn and weary, at 5:43.

The receptionist greeted me but then said, “Laura, do we have you on the list for tonight?”

“Sure do,” I said, “5:45.”

She flipped through the appointment book and then sympathetically said, “It’s actually…at 5:45……..tomorrow.”

Well.  Now that’s embarrassing.

I was so ready to show off my freshly flossed teeth that I showed up to the appointment TWENTY FOUR HOURS EARLY.  I suppose it’s better than twenty four hours late, but still not ideal.

Let’s hope that this eye condition doesn’t result in a trip to the doctor’s office because if it does, I will need to write that appointment day in stone.  Until then I’ll just be standing here in solidarity (and in a very dark room) with Mr. Costas. 

Eye’d appreciate good thoughts for the both of us.


Thursday, February 13, 2014

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