Friday, February 12, 2016

snow and dinner and chocolate milk

I wouldn't necessarily consider myself an outgoing person, but being home alone, all day, four days a week was killing me.  I am my own biggest fan and I was even getting tired of myself.  The travel ban was lifted last Thursday, and because I felt like a free woman, I scheduled a meeting for 9:30 the next morning.

And the next morning, it snowed.  The roads were just wet, but because I hate driving in any form of winter precipitation, I left two hours early to drive 30 miles. 

This week, I had another morning meeting scheduled, and when I opened the door to leave I saw this outside.  

I PANIC when I have to drive in actual snow, so I decided to turn on the news to check the weather and traffic.  However, we canceled our cable this week, and the only channel we are currently getting is the local ABC affiliate in SARASOTA, FLORIDA.  Well, according to Suncoast 7, the weather was just lovely.  Not a snowflake in sight.

So I took eight thousand deep breaths, put on my big girl snow boots, and headed out.  And I made it around the block before I turned right around and came home and waited an hour for everything to melt.  


During the past few months, I have become a self-professed meal planning pro.  And then Tuesday the wheels fell off and I realized I had no dinner plan. It was snowing outside, of course, which meant I was not venturing out to the grocery store for ingredients and had to work with what I had.

I employed the strategy of "If you put enough cheese on it, it will be delicious."  

When Matt came home from work and asked what was for dinner, I actually said the words, "Tuesday Pantry Surprise."

At least it wasn't my other cleverly named go-to last minute option, a YOYO dinner. 

You're On Your Own.

Matt usually wakes up at least an hour before I do.  He kisses me goodbye, but he gets dressed in the pitch dark so  as to not wake me because I am a girl who enjoys her sleep.  This morning, because I had another early meeting (BACK TO THE REAL WORLD), we were up at the same time.

And at 6:15 in the morning, he carried on the most chipper conversation about how turkey lunch meat tastes better when it's "ruffled" on a sandwich as opposed to laying flat, just like chocolate milk tastes better when the chocolate is added after the milk is poured into the glass as opposed to before, and how he couldn't believe I've never tried Ovaltine.

You know what I think about at 6:15 in the morning?  Where is my coffee and how hot can I get the shower?

Opposites attract.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

at least i didn't write crossfit

I had a doctor's appointment first thing Monday morning, and when I checked in, the receptionist handed me an updated patient information form to complete.

I LOVE filling out forms like that, and the questions started out pretty basic.  Do you wear your seat belt in the car?  Do you smoke?  Has your insurance information changed?

And then, I got to the question "Do you exercise?"

I wrote "yes."

The next question was "If yes, how often?"

I wrote "three times per week."

The next question was "What type of exercise?"

And here is where I cannot explain what sort of dishonest, self-inflated athletic version of myself took over, but before I realized what was happening, I'd written "jogging."


My mom and I walk moderately paced laps around the local mall every few days.  That is the extent of my exercise routine.

In fact, I jog so infrequently that I can remember the last time it happened.  It was Memorial Day weekend TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN.  Michelle and I had rented a place down the shore and had to catch the jitney to the bar. and we jogged about a block to the jitney pick up stop.

But there, in ink, on an official medical document, I claimed I was a jogger.  I panicked for a few seconds.  I certainly couldn't cross it out and write "walking," because that would look dumb.  I also couldn't ask the receptionist for a new form due to grossly exaggerating my exercise level, so I just left it there and hoped that the doctor wouldn't choose to question me about my jogging habits.

And thankfully, she didn't say a word about it.

But I feel like I should jog this week.

Although, maybe I should wait until Memorial Day.  Why break tradition?

Sunday, February 7, 2016

and i was the english major

My brother and sister and I have a group text, and it really gets busy during election season.  Last Monday, as the Iowa caucus results came it, let's just say there were a lot of corny jokes.

It was a-maize-ing.

I knew the group text would be busy on Saturday night because of the Republican debate, but I didn't realize we would be discussing such controversial topics.

Can't wait until convention season.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

all 732 trips to home depot were well worth it

Back in December I wrote about tackling our first room renovation in our new house - my office.  This picture of the office is from the online listing.  You can obviously see why we couldn't pass up this house! 

And this is what it looked like the day we moved in.

After we pulled up the carpet, we discovered that the floors had some sort of stain on them, and not the kind of stain that's supposed to be on a hardwood floor.  It took a LOT of sanding (And dust. Oh the dust.  I am still dusting.) and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide to bleach the stain out.

Then it was time to paint the walls, stain the floor, and put up new baseboards and window woodwork. 

And now, it looks like this. 

We still need to get blinds and hang some things on the walls, but I love it.

 My new office called for a new coffee mug.

 I'm going to need that coffee to tackle the next project - wallpaper.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

no ifs, ands, or butts about it

It seems hard to believe that last Sunday we were digging out from two feet of snow, and this week it was warm enough to go for a long late afternoon walk outside.

In a light jacket.

With no gloves.

I walked a new route this afternoon.  Down the hill and around the church on the next block.  It was lovely.

As I walk I like to look at houses and get decorating ideas.  Most people have their outdoor decor away for the winter, but as I rounded a corner I could see a house up ahead with lots of decorations on their lawn.

As I got closer, this is what I saw.

A skeleton.  Riding a bicycle.  Next to a statue of the Blessed Mother and a deflated Santa.


The houses in our neighborhood are all similar styles, but vary a little bit in structure.  Most of the homes have large picture windows in the living rooms, and I think it's so interesting to see how people decorate them.  Lots of people have large vases with flowers.  Some have candles.  There is one house with all different colored glass vases.

And then, I came upon this house.

It's a little difficult to see, and to that I say YOU'RE WELCOME IN ADVANCE, but in the window are various statues of, well, butts.

It's like A Christmas Story gone R rated.

Maybe I'll walk around a different block next time.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

we certainly didn't go hungry during the blizzard of 2016

Well, Matt just looked over at me and asked, "Have you ever wondered what the oceans would be like with no water?"

After I told him that no, that's not a topic I've ever pondered, he said, "With water-less oceans, we would be living on giant mountains.  And mountains are like the goosebumps of Mother Earth."

Basically what I'm saying is we have been snowed in long enough.

All last week the weather reports called for a big storm Friday and Saturday, but since the meteorologists cried blizzard one too many times last year only to see storms that "significantly under-performed" and had "high bust potential," I figured we'd get ten inches tops.

However, I did go to the grocery store on Friday just to see how crazy it was, and also because Matt had texted me that morning that he'd run into the store before work to secure milk, and he left it in his truck which he'd parked in the grocery store parking lot.  I went to get the milk out of his car and discovered he'd purchased two big gallons of top of the line organic milk.

Well.  There is a man who bought into the hype.

I also purchased the blizzard necessities while I was at the store, which was experiencing Thanksgiving busyness times ten, including the following items that made complete sense to me while I was shopping but didn't quite make as much sense once I got home: cottage cheese, a jar of gravy, trail mix, a pack of chicken breasts, three Asian pears, a giant bag of broccoli, and syrup.  With the exception of the chicken and the broccoli, we don't eat any of those items on a regular basis.  But if we wanted them during the BLIZZARD OF 2016, we'd have them.

And could wash them down with a glass of organic milk.

The snow started falling on Friday evening and didn't let up for 26 hours, leaving us with a final total of about 25 inches.  Matt could hardly sleep on Friday night and when we woke up he bounded down to the kitchen to make his Famous Snow Day Breakfast which included chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

It was cold and windy and we spent the day alternating between trying to keep up with the snow removal and lounging on the couch watching wall to wall snow coverage which is my favorite thing to do.  Nothing beats ten hours of watching poor news reporters stand in desolate intersections, sticking their rulers in snow drifts and interviewing snow plow drivers and the occasional gas station customer.  I love it.

I also read, sewed, and drank more mugs of coffee and tea than I could count.

We also decided to roast a turkey and make a complete Thanksgiving dinner, so it's a good thing I picked up that gravy on Friday.

The snow was over when we woke up this morning, so Matt made eggs (in a heart) for breakfast and we cleared the driveway one last time.

Then we made a run to Walmart for salt because we didn't have any, which was a ROOKIE HOMEOWNER MISTAKE.  But the power was out at Walmart and Lowe's was out of salt, so we came back home to continue relaxing.

I just found out that my meetings for tomorrow are canceled, so it looks like another day at home for me.

I just wish that meant another delicious breakfast.

But I can have milk.  And cottage cheese.

Monday, January 18, 2016

i'll shred 30 cups of cheese for her birthday, but that might be my limit

I am sitting here on Monday night trying my hardest to think back to Friday, and it feels like it was  so long ago.

That's how you know you had a good weekend.

I do remember that Friday involved a staff meeting that lasted 30 minutes longer than planned because expense reports were on the agenda, and expense reports always go hand in hand with controversy and an extended discussion about mileage and points of origin.

After work I went to my parents' house.  They were hosting my niece's baptism party on Saturday afternoon, and since my mom was fighting a little cold I dropped by to offer my culinary expertise.  I'm proud to announce that my culinary expertise is increasing now that I have my very own gigantic yet outdated kitchen to cook in.
(I know you're jealous of that wallpaper and sweet wood paneling.  Not to mention the fancy faux brick vinyl floor and plastic wood ceiling beams. I have BIG DREAMS for our summer '16 remodel.)

But, I still wasn't prepared for what my mom told me when I arrived.

"Okay, we are making macaroni and cheese.  And we have to triple the recipe."


You mean 1 3/4 cups TIMES THREE? 

I haven't done math like that since the fifth grade.

I don't know if my mom saw the fear in my eyes, or if she was tipped off when I asked for a pen so I could work out the actual math problems, but she saved the day with the suggestion that we first double the recipe, and then make a single third batch.  She made me feel better by saying that strategy would work better with regards to ratios and ingredients, but part of me thinks she doubted my math skillz.

Which is a completely legitimate concern.  

In addition to successfully doubling the recipe, I must add that I single-handedly shredded TWENTY SEVEN CUPS of cheese.   

I can honestly say there are very few people in the world I'd shred twenty seven cups of cheese for.  

Annabelle is one of them.  Can you blame me?

The baptism and the party went off without a hitch and Annabelle couldn't have looked cuter or been a more perfect goddaughter. 

Also, I can now add godmother to my resume. 

 And professional cheese shredder.

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