Thursday, December 2, 2010

isn't it IRONic?

I really hate to say this, but I am suffering from a severe case of writer’s block.  And I doubt anyone wants to read about how I spent more time than even I care to admit this afternoon researching the origin of the word "okay" and whether or not it started out as "okay" or just "ok." Or about how I ironed a pair of dress pants for work the other night and I think I have finally mastered the art of getting a perfect crease all the way down the center of each pant leg.

Speaking of ironing, I was in the semi-professional ironing business this summer while I searched for some sort of post-college employment that didn’t require wearing sneakers to work.  My main client base was my family, and I charged one dollar per item.

My brother was the only one who ever hired me. 

And he only hired me once. 

I made about $8.00. 

And that $8.00 translated to about $2.00 an hour because I am the world's slower ironer.

Thus, my career in the cuthroat world of semi-professional ironing was short lived.

Much like the life of my cell phone.  (How’s that for a smooth transition?!)  I’m afraid it has seen better days, and is currently hanging on by a thread.  Or hanging on by what’s left of the draining battery, as the case may be.

So tonight when it started beeping and buzzing and warning me that I had LOW MEMORY, VERY LOW MEMORY, I decided I better look into things right away.  It seems that the problem had something to do with the 145 pictures I have stored on there.  I will admit that 145 is a little excessive, especially because 125 of them were of the sky.  Apparently you can never have enough cell phone quality pictures of clouds.

As for the other 20 pictures?  Well, they are true Kodak moments, and I am just thrilled that they have been captured forever.

Ah, Cher.  Michelle and I have a well-documented love for the goddess of pop and her fine musical stylings.  I often wish that our morals, values, and beliefs were more in sync, because if they were I think we could be great friends! 

This is a necklace.  Although, if you’re a very light person and plan to be spending time outside on a windy day, I’m thinking you won’t stand a chance of blowing away if you wear this baby.

My dad cleaned out the basement one night, and when I went outside in the morning, I saw this classy greenery in the trash pile.  I’m proud to say that this plastic foliage added quite the elegant touch to our apartment junior year.  It looked just beautiful next to a cinderblock wall and sitting atop our lovely royal blue carpet.  Very HGTV.

This license plate says WHALE.  No matter how bad your day is, take comfort in the fact that you’re not driving around in a car that has WHALE emblazoned on the license plate.

Here is a picture of our mall on the Friday night that Santa arrived.  The line to sit on his lap went all the way up to the second floor.  Stacy and I stood at the railing on the other side of the second floor for a very long time and made bets on which kids would cry when they sat on Santa’s lap.  We were just the picture of Christmas cheer that night.

And then we made our way to home appliances.  Since both of us still live at home, we are not in the market for dishwashers or refrigerators.  But somehow we ended up here, on a Friday night, in the home appliance department of Sears.  It seems that every last one of Stacy’s friends from college is doing a year of service somewhere, and she keeps up with all of their blogs about what they’re doing.  I can only imagine how she feels when she clicks from them over here to OhLauraDarling, where she can read about toothpaste filled oreos and what I got the last time I went to Wal Mart.  Just keepin’ it real over here.

And what better way to end than with another picture of Cher?  I can only hope that if she truly could turn back time, she would rethink some of her scandalous relationships and perhaps all that mesh clothing.
If we ever do become friends, I will encourage some nice, opaque clothing items.  I would even be willing to iron them for her.  It may take me all day, but I am a whiz at the center of the pant leg crease.


Things to Do said...

Is it sad that I know that OK stands for Old Kinderhook? Cher is also the only person I can do an imitation of, but just of her little 'woo hoo'. Might be my greatest accomplishment.

Anonymous said...

If that's writer's block . . .

MissEmy said...

um, you did an amazing job getting over that writer's block. :D That last picture of cher is soooo disturbing! :P

philmin9 said...

Best $8 i ever spent

Jamie Lane said...

Haha I love the part where you said you'd iron her clothes! Cracked me up!

mylifeonrepeat said...

Um, if this is Writer's Block, I must not be a writer at all. Ha! I literally read every post on your home page and laughed so hard (on the inside - laughing to myself at work would raise some eyebrows).

amanda said...

if i could turn back timeeee...

oh how i love a good cher jam. seriously. she is kind of awesome.

i'm totally digging how you made an 8 dollar profit off of ironing your brothers pants. gotta make a living, right girl?

{and i like that we both saw the same snow on thanksgiving! and both thought it was fake on tv during the parade-haha}

Leanne said...

Wow, your mall looks awesome! So festive! LOL, had to laugh at you and Stacy making bets! I know what you mean about writers block, I had that too.

P.S. Love blogs that keep it real. :D