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this may be the first time i embarrassed her, but it probably won't be the last

Last night was a bit of a crazy one around our house, and my mom said I could either help prepare dinner or pick Emily up from play practice after school.  Given those options, you better believe I volunteered myself to be in the school parking lot at 5:30 in the pm.

Actually, it ended up to be slightly after 5:30.  I ran into a lot of traffic (NOT LITERALLY) and hit almost every red light (AGAIN, NOT LITERALLY) on the way to her school, and as the time neared half past cinco, I was worried that Emily would think I had forgotten about her.  And there is nothing worse than being left alone in the school yard.  ON ST. PATRICK’S DAY NO LESS.  Talk about o'tragic. 

Now, I NEVER, EVER, EVER text while driving.  Or while at a red light.  I am just not a risk taker in the texting while driving department.  However, I was so worried that Emily would become distraught at the lack of my prompt presence that I decided to fire off a quick text to her while sitting at a red light to let her know that I was on my way.  I was typing quickly and trying to keep most of my attention on my roadside surroundings, so instead of a text that said “on my way-bad traffic,” I sent one that said “on my way-bad tariffs.” 

I imagine she was originally quite perplexed as to why I encountered taxation on imported and exported goods at such an hour, since I usually try to get my international business over with in the mornings.  Oh, I kid.  However when Em realized I meant traffic, she thought my misspelling was just HILARIOUS, and even shared it with all of her friends who were waiting on their fashionably late drivers who also must have hit rush hour tariffs.

This was not the first time the T9 feature on my new phone has led me astray.  A few weeks ago I was texting Matt and I intended the message to say “Nah, I’ll go later.”  However, my phone took the “nah” I typed and changed it into “naghski.”  I’ll admit that naghski has a little more in the way of pizzazz than plain old nah, but it doesn't do so well at getting the point across.  Plus, who says naghski so often that it would be the default T9 word?

So those are my two main T9 gripes.

Although the first three weeks I had the phone, every time I typed “haha” (which is A LOT), it was changed to “hagar.”

"Laura, are you going to be here soon?"

"Naghski, I hit some tariffs.  Hagar."  

I am just a JOY to converse with.

BACK TO THE STORY.

Emily and I were driving home yesterday and since her school play is Godspell, she was cheerfully singing Prepare Ye The Way of the Lord while I sang/rapped (srapped?) along with Timbaland.  We were at two ends of the musical spectrum and by about the third stoplight I decided we needed to meet somewhere in the middle, so I turned on the cd I had.  It happened to be my new favorite, Best Hits of the 80s.  "I Think We're Alone Now" by Tiffany came on first and I was overjoyed.  It was warm out, the windows were down, and eighties songs were on the radio.  Hello, heaven.  Emily didn't share the sentiment, and when we stopped at the next red light, I could not believe what she did.

She looked at the cars around us, hoping against hope that their windows were UP and that none of them were looking in our direction.  She was EMBARRASSED.

ARE WE EVEN RELATED?

To restore my status as COOLEST BIG SISTER EVER, I surprised her at the bus stop after school today and took her to McDonald's for a shamrock shake.  We like to be fashionably behind with our holiday related treates.  But Emily was just thrilled to death and I was totally back in her cool sister good graces until I nearly screached the car to an instantaneous stop because I thought I heard her cell phone ringing and she told me it was just wind chimes on the house we had just passed. 

And then I turned on some Flo Rida and told her we were shamrockin' and rollin'.

That didn't get me many points either.

But am I worried about it?  Naghski.  There's always tomorrow. 

Hagar.

Comments

Megan said…
This whole post is just too funny! Gotta love T9.

I was trying to respond to a "Good morning" text a couple of weeks ago with a friendly "HEY!" However, instead of hitting the 'ghi' button, I accidentally tapped the one right under it- 'pqrs.' The message I sent read, "SEX!"

Ay ay ay.
Jamie Lane said…
I laughed out loud when you talked about her being perplexed as to why you encountered taxation! I've loved catching up on all your stories today; they are always so entertainingly written! (Hmm, that word is easy to type but harder to say...entertain-ing-ly. My mouth keeps adding extra g's.) Anyway, a two story Target? I shopping cart only escalator? It blows my mind! I must visit such a Target someday!
Ashley said…
Shamrockin' and rollin'.... love that! Sometimes the T9 spelling corrections bug me, because they are typically way off... oh well, hagar!

Too funny.
Nicole said…
Oh my gosh, this post had me ROLLING! This is so hilarious! My sister would be just mortified! I love it!
MyDearJenn said…
HAHAHA. This post made me bust out laughing. My auto correct on my iphone does the same thing and it's always a great conversation starter.

Hagar.
Dree said…
Oh my gosh, this post is hilarious! T9 is all kinds of crazy. I don't think I'm ever going to think of the word traffic in the same way again...
Haha! I just laughed so hard! When my phone does the auto correct and it's not what I want it to say, I instantly try to send the real thing lol
Such a great post! I hope to embarrass my daugher/niece/nephew in the same manner one of these days. LoL
Lindsey said…
Too funny! My phone auto corrects me all the time as well!! And thank you for the sweet comment!
Tatiana said…
That's just too funny! I'm sure that before I know it, my daughter is going to be old enough to get embarrassed by my actions. Hagar
Baby Sister said…
Boyfriend's phone has T9, and I HATE IT!! It drives me batty.
Things to Do said…
Have you been to the website: Damn You Auto Correct. I tend to read that website and laugh to the point of tears!
GreenGirl said…
I just cracked the hell up at this post...I have no idea what the T9 feature is...nor do I want to know...I have heard about it...but I think it will complicate my life. I LOVED Tiffany back in the day. Like, wanted to be her little sister kind of love...she was awesome. I most definitely sang to her songs on my Fisher Price record player while haribrush in hand...

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