So far this evening I've seen a giant baby made from flowing white fabric, someone masquerading as the Queen of England jump from a helicopter, and a dove of peace riding a bicycle in the sky.
Basically it's been the wildest Friday night I've had in months.
As for my thoughts on the REAL Queen of England, they can be summed up with DOES THE WOMAN EVER SMILE? Of course, she could also be listening to Bob Costas' extremely depressing commentary which would explain the frown. The man has talked only about war, famine, and death since Liechtenstein walked in thirteen countries ago.
LET'S LIGHTEN THE MOOD HERE, BOB.
This time last week I was just arriving home from a work conference. The conference started on Wednesday afternoon, so my co-worker and I worked for a few hours in the morning before stopping at Dunkin' Donuts for some extra large Oreo Coolattas and beginning our journey.
We arrived at the conference center/hotel around 11:30, but since we had neglected to re-read our emails before we left, we were a little foggy on the conference details. For example, what time it started. We decided that our best bet was to swing by Panera, pick up some lunch to eat in the parking lot, and then go inside once we saw others entering the conference center.
I ordered my Panera usual, half of a chicken caesar sandwich, a cup of broccoli cheddar soup, and a baguette. As it turns out that lunch couldn't be more difficult to eat sitting in the passenger seat of you friend's BRAND NEW car.
As we were eating I said to my co-worker, "I wonder how far the Hampton Inn is from here."
"The Hampton Inn?" she said. "But this is where the conference is."
"I know, but aren't we staying at the Hampton Inn?" I said.
I'm betting that information was clearly spelled out in the email I only glanced at. Here's a word to the unprepared - if you're ever in a situation where someone else made your hotel reservation, and you're unsure what hotel that is exactly, just try checking in wherever you are. The reservations staff will be more than happy to tell you that there is no room for you there and you are probably part of the group staying at the Hampton Inn.
Not that I know from experience or anything.
We attended two workshops on Wednesday afternoon, and followed those up with a VERY FANCY banquet at 7:00.
This is what greeted me when I arrived at my seat. A martini glass of fruit and a slice of cheesecake. WELL YES PLEASE.
We had workshops all day Thursday, which were actually very interesting. Plus there was an incredible mid-morning snack spread in the lobby that included caramel corn and chocolate covered strawberries and there is no snack I'd rather have at 10:00 in the morning.
There was a picnic on Thursday evening, and since my company was running the conference, I was recruited to help at the picnic. I spent two hours manning the ring toss, and it was every bit as boring and anti-climactic as you might expect.
Fortunately, around 8:00 my boss noticed my boredom and the lack of ring toss participants, and promoted me to the highly coveted position of supervising the balloon artist station.
I will now take this moment to say that I am shocked at the complexity of balloon creations these days. If I had a dollar for every child I saw walk away with the the incredible hulk standing standing on a building carrying a sword, wearing red sneakers, and eating a banana ALL IN BALLOON FORM, I'd be rich.
Back in the olden days of 1998 when I was a child you got either a dog or a rabbit. AND LIKED IT.
The conference wrapped up on Friday morning, and as I got dressed I debated wearing a white shirt or a black shirt. After much deliberation I decided on white. And then I got myself a cup of coffee, sat down in the first workshop, and spilled coffee all. over. myself.
I managed to cover the coffee at the top of the shirt with a very strategic name tag placement, and the spill at the bottom with my large purse and some papers, but it was touch and go for a while there.
And now it's on to the weekend.
I have high expectations and plans that include swimming, shopping, and Olympics-watching.
Here's hoping Bob Costas is in a happier mood tomorrow!