Thursday, April 18, 2013

my how times have changed

Well, here we are at the end of another week.  It has been largely uneventful for me, unless of course you count the fact that Michelle and I went to the drive-thru Dairy Queen at 9:00 tonight because WHY NOT?

I also spent more hours than I care to admit searching for some colored skinny pants for the spring and summer because they are adorable and I do like to jump on a trend.

I have visited countless retail establishments over the last week and tried on every size, style, pattern, and color of skinny pants that exist.  That extensive market research has led me to the following conclusion.  Covering my legs in pastel, neon, and/or primary colored denim is not a good look for me.

And so I will continue to wear my boring, yet practical, plain denim jeans and black pants.

When Michelle and I got home from our Dairy Queen run this evening, we started looking at old pictures of ourselves in honor of throwback Thursday.

And photographic evidence shows that there was indeed a time when I embraced the colored, patterned pant.

Maybe one day these will come back in style.


Monday, April 15, 2013

when it comes to bowling, i couldn't be less competitive

Matt, Emily, and I went bowling last weekend.  I had a pretty good idea of how successful we each would be before we even walked into the bowling alley.

Matt was on the varsity bowling team in high school so I was pretty confident that he would be decent.

I've never been bowling with Emily so she was a bit of a dark horse, but I know she can be surprising.

And me?  Well judging by the fact that when our little trio arrived at the bowling alley, I marched straight up to the man behind the counter and said "three, please," I am clearly a bowling novice.

It was like I momentarily forgot that we were at a bowling alley and not a restaurant.

Luckily Matt was there and was able to explain to the gentleman behind the counter that while there were indeed three of us, we only needed one lane.

After we got that cleared up, we ordered our shoes, picked out our bowling balls, and headed to lane eleven to begin our bowling odyssey. 

I gave Matt my phone for a few minutes and asked him to take some candid photos.  I had visions of photos of me laughing jovially on my way back from a particularly great frame or a celebratory high five with Emily after a strike.  However, when I scrolled those photographic memories just now to download a few for this post, I discovered that instead Matt simply chose to repeatedly capture this particular angle. 


I guess I reapplied my lip gloss and eye shadow for nothing.

Although there is this framer of Emily and me.

The first three or four frames proceeded with Emily in the lead, Matt in close pursuit, and me bringing up the rear.  I was sitting on the bench during Matt's turn to bowl in frame five when suddenly I heard a voice come over the speaker system and announce "SWEEPDOWN, LANE ELEVEN.  SWEEPDOWN.  LANE ELEVEN."




I looked at Emily and Matt and when neither of them showed any signs of excitement that we had just gotten a shout out for a sweepdown OVER THE LOUDSPEAKER, I assumed they just weren't listening.  So I excitedly asked Matt, "Did you hear that?!! We're getting a sweepdown!! Do you know what a sweepdown in bowling is?"

And then we went through a ritual that I know by heart because it happens on an extremely regular basis.  

That ritual typically features me repeating whatever excited, enthusiastic statement I just made, and then Matt looking at me quizzically for a few moments while he determines where the heck I'm coming from and formulates an appropriate response. 

After a few seconds of thought he said, "Laura, a sweepdown isn't an EVENT.  The piece of equipment that re-racks the pins is called a sweep.  And ours is down."

And sure enough, with one quick glance down our lane, I saw that our sweep was indeed stuck.


Here I had thought we won some fantastic bowling alley prize, and the reality was that we were just the unlucky patrons of a lane with some malfunctioning equipment.

A few minutes later our sweep was fixed and things literally got rolling once again.

And the game proceeded in much the same matter in which it began, and by that I mean Emily crushed us, Matt held steady to second place, and I finished in third.  

I can't say that Matt was thrilled, but Emily sure was.

I can't wait to go again.  

And I'm kind of crossing my fingers for another sweepdown, because what's a game of bowling without a little drama?


Thursday, April 11, 2013

never let it be said i don't know how to show my guests a good time

On Saturday afternoon I drove to my parents' house, as per my weekly custom, to talk and attempt to score any yummy leftovers that they may be trying to get rid of.  My mom mentioned that she and my dad were going to the spring fling at church that night, and that my sister wasn't joining them because apparently 17 is the age when you are officially TOO COOL for the church spring fling.   

When I heard Emily had a free night, I asked her if she wanted to go bowling with me and then sleep over at my apartment.  Obviously she was ALL IN.  The whole bowling event will be a separate post because if I write about it now this post will transform into a novella but oh, it was entertaining.

On our way to my apartment Emily and I stopped at Target.  I asked Emily to go get me a box of Cheez-Its while I picked up a few other things, namely laundry detergent and drain cleaner because MY LIFE IS VERY GLAMOROUS.  I got sidetracked in the nail polish aisle as usual and when I found Emily ten minutes later, she was wandering in the soup aisle, empty handed and looking totally confused. 

When she saw me she said, "...Heyyyyy...soooooo...I can't find the Cheez-It's..."  

I will admit that I am a very seasoned Target shopper, but Emily just scored into a VERY IMPRESSIVE percentile of the critical reading section of the SATs, and was standing two aisles away from a big red sign that said CRACKERS.

I may or may not have made a comment regarding her SAT scores and their implementation into reality, but she got me back on our way to the car.  She mentioned how boring her life is going to be when the school play is over and she doesn't have rehearsals anymore.

"Boring is okay sometimes, Em.  Think of it as simplicity.  Look at me.  I don't have an exceptionally thrilling life, but I'm always happy."

Words of wisdom. 

Or so I thought, until Emily said, "I guess, but it's Saturday night and you're at Target buying Cheez-Its and Drano."

We bowled on Saturday night, and then on Sunday we ran a few errands before I dropped Emily off.  We went to the gas station and the bank, because I like to start my week with a full gas tank and bank account.  

And then we stopped in a pet store to see a WORLD FAMOUS two headed turtle.

I don't even like turtles and the pet store smelled like, well, a pet store. 

But I'm pretty sure the trip there propelled my life straight into the EXCEPTIONALLY THRILLING category and that was ultimately my goal.

I bet Emily wishes she could come back this weekend.

Monday, April 8, 2013

if only i knew how to pin this picture to pinterest


How are you?

I am great.  Just drinking some lemonade and writing this post from my new cloffice.

That's right.


Let me explain.

I know people are OB to the SESSED with Pinterest.  However, Pinterest has been a trend that I have largely been able to avoid aside from the time that I logged on in search of a blueberry muffin recipe and instead ended up spray painting a cheese grater a lovely shade of aqua to display on my bathroom counter and house my dangly earrings.

In addition to distracting me, Pinterest makes me want to spend a lot of money and paint every flat surface in my apartment with chalkboard paint.  And because I don't need more debt or dust in my life, I tend to STEER CLEAR of the Pinterest.

Anyway, one night last week I was looking around online when one thing led to another and before I knew it, I was on Pinterest looking at pictures of simple closets that had been miraculously transformed into functional, aesthetically pleasing office spaces.

And I thought to myself, "Hey, that's a cool idea. And I just so happen to have two closets in my bedroom."  And so at 11:00 at night I climbed out of bed, emptied one closet and threw its contents in a large mound on the floor, slid my desk into the empty closet, got back in bed, and went to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning and saw the giant mound of clothes, shoes, and purses on the floor I was immediately reminded of the poor decision I made the night before.  

Good morning, regret.

It was like a little Pinterest hangover.

I ignored the pile of junk for several days while I had myself a little internal debate about whether or not I should go through with creating a cloffice or just shove everything back in the closet and PRETEND THAT NIGHT NEVER HAPPENED.

In the end I decided to go through with it, because now I can say cloffice several times a day and OH, I LOVE A GOOD MADE UP CONTRACTION.

I finally got to use the word in action the other night when Matt came to pick up. 

I was only 98% ready at the time of his arrival because you can always add more lip gloss.  So while I applied my 3-D Glitzy Glamour Gloss in the bathroom mirror, Matt stood in the hallway so we could talk.  After a few minutes he looked in my room and said, "Hey, what did you do with your desk?"

"Oh," I said, "it's in my cloffice."

 It was a Kodak moment.  The look of astonishment on his face was priceless.

And for your enjoyment, here's the cloffice in all her glory.