Saturday, February 15, 2014

eye yi yi

Well, I woke up this morning and made the unfortunate discovery that my left eye was red and bloodshot and sore.  Over the past week I’ve been getting a lot of mileage out of the joke that “these Olympics have ‘costas’ an eye,” but now I’m regretting every single time I said that.  

I’m getting married three weeks from today, and I can’t afford to have some sort of strange medical malady on March 8th.  It was bad enough that I went to the dentist for a cleaning last week and my jaw popped out of place after my fluoride treatment.  I immediately called the hygienist to inform her that SOMETHING WAS AMISS and she came over, inspected, and calmly said, “Ahh, yes, I see.  The mandible has simply disengaged.”

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you could re-engage it please because SPEAKING OF ENGAGED, I’M GETTING MARRIED IN A MONTH AND MY MANDIBLE NEEDS TO BE IN TIP TOP CONDITION.”

Actually, my dentist appointment was doomed from the start. I got a phone call, text message, and email confirming the day and time, and I wrote it on my calendar for Tuesday night at 5:45.  I upped my brushing and flossing game in the days leading up the appointment and by Tuesday afternoon I was ready for the big moment. 

I fought rain and rush hour traffic and walked into the extremely crowded dentist office, battle worn and weary, at 5:43.

The receptionist greeted me but then said, “Laura, do we have you on the list for tonight?”

“Sure do,” I said, “5:45.”

She flipped through the appointment book and then sympathetically said, “It’s actually…at 5:45……..tomorrow.”

Well.  Now that’s embarrassing.

I was so ready to show off my freshly flossed teeth that I showed up to the appointment TWENTY FOUR HOURS EARLY.  I suppose it’s better than twenty four hours late, but still not ideal.

Let’s hope that this eye condition doesn’t result in a trip to the doctor’s office because if it does, I will need to write that appointment day in stone.  Until then I’ll just be standing here in solidarity (and in a very dark room) with Mr. Costas. 

Eye’d appreciate good thoughts for the both of us.


Sunday, February 9, 2014

anyone want to give me the basics on navigating via compass?

Well, tonight I am coming to you live from the tundra.  Not really, but I’m looking out the window at the snow falling in what is approximately the 235th winter weather event of the season, so it feels more like Alaska than Pennsylvania.  

Last week my office was closed on Monday for snow, and for ice on Wednesday and Thursday.  Rumor has it that the office hasn’t closed for snow since NINETEEN NINETY SIX, so three days off in one week was unprecedented.  

Our area was hit with a pretty bad ice storm on Wednesday that took down trees and power lines all over.  Hundreds of thousands of home were without electricity and streets were closed due to downed trees. 
I am staying at my parents’ house until the wedding (luckily we didn’t lose power), and Matt is staying in the condo we’ve rented about a half an hour away.  

The condo is in the most beautiful location.  It’s right next to a tiny little lake and nestled amongst tons of old, tall trees.  In fact, I took this picture on the day we moved in (Yes, it snowed.  Yes, it was awful.) because LOOK HOW PRETTY THE SNOW LOOKS ON THOSE OLD, TALL TREES THAT I LOVE SO MUCH.  It is GOING TO BE SO FUN TO LIVE IN THE FOREST.

Except do you know when it isn’t fun to reside below hundreds of tall, old trees?

During an ice storm.

Matt lost power at the condo on Wednesday, but by Friday afternoon the electricity was back on and things were looking up weather-wise, so I headed there after work.

Unfortunately when I got off the highway and attempted to turn down the one and only road I know to get to the condo, I discovered that it was closed because of downed trees and wires.


The condo is in an area I’m not at all familiar with yet and on top of that, I am not exactly what you’d call a navigational genius, so I decided to just keep driving straight on the road I was on.  Because eventually I had to hit an intersection with a main road.  Right?

As it turns out the roads in the area are twisty and hilly and extremely dark and evidently, intersections with main roads are FEW AND BAR BETWEEN.  And, OH YEAH, MY PHONE HAD SHUT OFF so I was unable to call for help and/or directions.  

After several minutes of driving on windy dark roads, the song “Compass” by Lady Antebellum came on the radio and while I love that sing, what I didn’t want to hear at that moment was THE RADIO MOCKING ME AND MY DIRECTIONAL SHORTCOMINGS.  

That set me over the edge and before the tears forming in my eyes could blur my vision too much, I pressed the power button on my phone and against all odds, it turned on.  The timing was perfect because I was coming up to a red light and saw a sign that said “Route 320, turn left.”

I called Matt to ask him if route 320 was the road I wanted because he knows things like route numbers whereas I am more of a “LET’S CALL THIS BUTTERCUP LANE OR SOMETHING EQUALLY AS MEMORABLE” kind of girl.  

The phone connected except here’s the part where I need to tell you that CELL PHONE SERVICE AT OUR NEW PLACE IS AWFUL.  I'm really rethinking the initial glamor and novelty of living set back in the hills and trees. 

Catching every fifth syllable during a conversation a real precious thing, especially when you’re trying to get time sensitive clarification on whether or not you should turn on a road that’s approximately 300 feet away.

By the time Matt understood my question and I understood his answer, I had passed the intersection and also the opportunity to turn left onto Route 320.

As luck would have it the very next intersection was one that I recognized, and I navigated the remainder of the trip with no problem.  As long as you don’t count the fact that I drove right past our driveway.  

I'm hopeful that when I drive there tomorrow the roads I know will be open to traffic again.  If not, it may be time to invest in an actual compass.