i can't pass along any math info but i do have other advice

Well, my brain was fried this morning.  I had a few big meetings yesterday and then a terrible thunderstorm kept me up last night and by this morning, I felt like I was in a fog.

I gave work the old college try, but I had to complete a report for my boss to justify how many staff I need next year, and it involved math and I just could not make it happen.  So I sent Matt a text that said, "S.O.S.  If it takes five paralegals 40 hours each to work on 350 cases, how long would it take six paralegals to work on the same number of cases?"

I know.

That's sad.

But on my best day I'm no mathematician, so after a bad night of sleep and an early morning, a math equation with a tricky variable was a mountain I could not climb.

Matt responded that it would take six paralegals 33.14285714 hours to complete the work and so I wrote, "Using the same math, it would take six paralegals 33 hours...." and just crossed my fingers that when I clicked send my boss wouldn't reply and ask what math I was referring to exactly.

Because then I'd have to admit that I'd outsourced that particular task.

Anyway, tonight I decided to open my notes app to get some post ideas, because I knew I had a bunch of old notes in there where I'd jotted down things down I wanted to remember to write about.

And here is what I found.

So basically, I've got nothing, except a lot of confusion and a questionable situation involving the first lady, a jury, and a guillotine.

However, I do know what "wedding wardrobe forget stuff" means.

A friend of mine is getting married later this month, and she asked if I had any advice for the big day.

And of course, I did.

When Matt and I got married, our reception was at a beautiful old inn and restaurant.  We stayed there overnight after the reception, and had reservations there for brunch the next morning.

And the brunch there is FANCY.

So, the morning after our wedding, as I proceed to get dressed for my first fancy brunch as someone's wife, I discovered that I had really fallen short in the packing department.

Because here is what I had in my bag: a pair of brown knockoff Ugg boots, a royal blue turtleneck cable knit sweater, and a pair of old, thin, black leggings that I typically reserve for cold, snowy days to wear UNDER MY PANTS because I am firmly in the camp of "leggings on their own are not pants."

Since skipping brunch was obviously not an option, it was either wear my wedding dress or wear my unfortunate getup.  I felt that the wedding dress would draw more attention, so I decided to wear the leggings and turtleneck sweater.  I figured that I would be fine as soon as we were seated.  From the neck up I looked totally appropriate.

So, we entered the restaurant, led to a table, and then the hostess said, "Brunch is served buffet style."
And the buffet table was set up right in the middle of the formal dining room.

I have never perused a brunch buffet so quickly.  I think I grabbed about eight pieces of french toast and some of bacon and rushed back to my seat before any other diners had the chance to notice my questionable outfit and absence of substantial pants.

I felt like Jo in Little Women, when she stands too close to the fireplace at the party and burns the back of her dress and has to shimmy along the wall so no one sees.

So my advice to my friend, the bride, was to make sure to pack an appropriate, complete outfit in your overnight bag.

And marry somebody who is good at math.


Christi said…
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I thought I would return the kindness. I tend to pack way too much and then I am so confused on what I packed that sometimes I can't seem to make an outfit out of it. I have resulted in packing dresses and that is it. If it's winter I pack a sweater with it. Makes it a lot easier. Also, I noticed you are a paralegal too, as am I. What state? I am in Illinois.

I am also a new follower on blog lovin'. Have a great weekend.
Emily Gilbert said…
"So basically, I've got nothing, except a lot of confusion and a questionable situation involving the first lady, a jury, and a guillotine." <--- LMBO!!!!

You are SO funny, I really enjoy reading your blog. You are absolutely correct leggings by themselves are NOT pants. I am not even a little bit skinny, but 2 years ago, I thought I'd be cute and wear leggings with an over-sized sweater... that is until my than 2-year-old, got a hold of my phone and a nice close up shot of my ass in those pants... I threw them all away. Dang kids. Granted his eye-level back was unfortunately, lol.

Math and I are not friends either.
Emily Gilbert said…
unfortunate* ... sigh. typo
Brittany said…
Ha love your blog posts ideas. Mine tend to look similar. That or I have several ideas that I could write about in oh just three sentences. So clearly that wouldn't work haha
Hahaha the notes in your phone cracked me up! So did the story of your morning after the wedding brunch! I will have to make sure to pack accordingly.
MilitaryPugWife said…
Oh I forget you are a paralegal.
God bless you.
I don't miss the law one bit. Nope!
Evelina said…
Oh my gosh I am cracking up at the brunch outfit! Although I'm sure it wasn't very funny at the time! Sounds like you handled it like a champ though.
Baby Sister said…
Hahahahahaha. The fact that you couldn't do that math is definitely not an embarrassment. I couldn't figure that out on a good day.
Your notes are hilarious...I had some like that before, and I just threw them away in disgust at myself for not being more specific.
Bijoux said…
Awe...that's a cute story! I would have sent my spouse up to the buffet for me!
Morgan Apfel said…
Hahahahha! Marry someone who is good at math! I second that one! I text my husband sooo many math questions. He's the best. Comes in such handy. Also that buffet story is hilarious! Whenever I'm in those situations I always just say to myself over and over, "I'll never see these people again, I'll never see these people again." It usually helps ;)

x. Morgan / www.morningappleblog.com
Amanda Klein said…
Your brunch story is SO funny! I would have just worn the wedding dress!!
Robin said…
At first I thought you were so humiliated by forgetting something important for the wedding, you considered climbing down a balcony and hiding somewhere!
alyssa said…
Every now and then I go through my notes, hoping to consolidate or even pluck a perfect post idea out and get to work. And then I find a jumbled mess of nouns and verbs and usually a two-item list and want to just face palm. Your wedding brunch story is too funny—and sounds EXACTLY like something I would do. I'm a weird combination of over/under-packer. I'll bring the kitchen sink with me but never feel like I have an appropriate outfit for at least one situation at my destination!
I DESPISE math, and frankly, I suck at it. Fortunately, I married someone who is brilliant in the math department so he has the kids covered if they ever need help with their homework. Less work for me! ;o)
Katelyn Sloan said…
Seriously, leggings have to be careful...sometimes they say to you "hey no worries I am just like pants" and then you see yourself in fluorescent light....yeah no. Loved reading all your notes hahaha hilarious!!
Brittany said…
I'm not sure this is any consolation, but by the end of a long work day, I'm completely unable to write coherent sentences, let alone do math problems. That's what life partners are for...to do math in times of need. Also, thanks for the wedding advice! I need all of it I can get...
I regularly ask my husband for help with incredibly basic math questions like that... my brain just cannot compute! Simple math (and complicated math, let's be honest) has never been my strong suit. I'll take a calculator any day!
tina bumblebee said…
Haha this is cute! And I love Little Women... people do not often reference that movie (well, or movie).
Mree said…
hahah this is so funny. I use to be really good at math but I don't know what happen. I'm so bad lately.
BLovedBoston said…
You are so hilarious! I literally had lists upon lists of things to not forget for rehearsal, wedding and brunch...so when all else fails make a list! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston
Haha!!! So funny. And I am always "outsourcing" work items to my husband too - like Excel problems!!!
I absolutely identify with you on the math. I frequently need to phone a friend on that one!

Definitely with you on the leggings are not pants train...but brunch is brunch and one must not miss it due to an unfortunate leggings misunderstanding! Those notes made me laugh though.
Liz Joiner said…
Kyle does math in his head. I always ask him for percentages and math questions. there's a reason I'm the blogger. I'm lucky if I can remember 1+1 half the time. Your advice is very good to your friend :) I feel like I often underdress to events and then I'm that person...

liz @ sundays with sophie
Frikken Duckie said…
LMAO! Math has never been my best subject so I'm glad that my other half is great at it! Definitely comes in handy to have a calculator that can do word problems.