things around here are just ducky

I work in an office a few days a week that I share with three other people.  There are two desks and one computer, and while the math doesn't really add up, it works out because we are all in and out on various days and are hardly ever all there at the same time.

My office mates are lawyers.  I am not a lawyer.  I just play one at work.  That is a joke!  I do not play a lawyer at work!  As a paralegal I've been through enough ethics classes to know that there is an entire section in the Crimes Code dedicated to non-lawyers practicing law.  I also know that I prefer to live in my house and not the county jail so I do not ever give legal advice.

But, because the four of us are in and out, and because lawyers review lots of paperwork, other staff in our office leave things on the desks all the time.  When we come in we either (a) don't know what is meant for us, or (b) assume someone else has already dealt with it.  That highly efficient process meant that by yesterday the office was in major need of some spring cleaning.
I organized a bunch of paper, and also found the following:

- A box of Thin Mints Girl Scout cookies from last year 
- An old Saladworks container, with, I'm sorry to say, what used to be salad in it
- Rubber bands that were so old and dry that they lost all rubbery qualities and fell apart.
- A strand of Christmas lights
- A luggage tag
- A 2015 calendar
- This fork

After I cleared out all the random junk, I decided that I would make piles on the floor for the paperwork, and separate it by categories.  As I knelt down to add some things to the "can this be shredded?" pile, I felt something go awry on my left side, from the top of my hip to the tips of my toes.  I didn't notice it much the rest of the day as I moved around and organized, but when I sat down in my car to drive home, well, I NOTICED IT.

I've been noticing it since then and let's just say I contemplated bringing my very own seat cushion to Citizen's Police Academy last night.

I left the office yesterday and hit quite a bit of traffic because the EZ-Pass express lanes at a busy turnpike interchange are closed for a few weeks.  Even though I get on at the previous entrance, traffic has still been slower than usual this week.  

Traffic was inching along and then suddenly came to a complete stop, and I heard a lot of honking up ahead.  There was a tractor trailer ahead of me in the center lane and one beside me, so I couldn't see what was causing the problem.  After a few minutes, my lane started moving, and I saw a red Honda Civic in the right lane, in park, with no driver in the car.  And then I noticed a man in a suit running back to the Civic from the shoulder.  His car looked fine, aka not on fire, which is the only reason I'd get out of my car on arguably the busiest stretch of the Pennsylvania Turnpike during heavy rush hour traffic.  

And it was then that I noticed a duck waddling down the shoulder of the turnpike.  And not just any duck, but a HUGE white duck.

It was like a real life Aflac commercial.

Maybe I should've pulled over and asked about worker's comp options for my on the job leg injury.


rooth said…
Ugh gross to the salad!
I have co-workers who treat their desk/office like they probably treated their college dorm room, lol. I would be afraid to go through their telling what you may find!
Leslie said…
That is so crazy about the duck! I used to work at a law school and we were in the process of moving buildings. I had to clean out so much stuff and found so many random things! Our office was in charge of the staff party so I literally found a sumo wrestling suit...who the heck knew what they did with that at the party?! We were also shredding things for weeks...
LOL at the salad and the rubber bands. And the duck! Love ducks, but they sure like to get in the way during rush hour sometimes :-P
Ah I cringed at the part about the salad! So gross. Also, I can't believe so much commotion occurred for a duck lol!
Mary Leigh said…
What an ordeal for the duck! Joint offices can be tricky. Glad you got it cleaned up though. Also, whose fork is that? That is a serious fork. haha.
Rebecca Jo said…
We have areas in town that are swarmed with geese. Like hugly populated, busy highways where Geese just mozy right along. It happened yesterday actually when I was out at lunch. Ricky & I had to wait for him to move from in front of his car. I'm amazed they stick to this area... but I guess people are decent enough to not plow through them.
alyssa said…
That reminds me of this one time I was driving home on 95 in Connecticut with my brother in crawwwwwling traffic, as is always the case on 95 in Connecticut. My brother points out the window and I see a CHIPMUNK just meandering down 95, inches away from the tire of a pick-up. It was the strangest thing. It appeared to totally know what it was doing, every time the truck would move a few inches, the chipmunk would scamper along with it, and then stop just as the truck stopped. It went on for a few miles, and as annoying as it was going that slow for that long, that was the most entertaining thing that happened on that road trip.

Good luck with the leg by the way--hope it's nothing serious!
Hahaha I love this post more than I probably should. What a randomly weird day! I used to have to clean out the lockers of students in a cosmetology school after they dropped out/were expelled/graduated. I can't even begin to tell you some of the DISGUSTING stuff I found in there, not to mention the many plastic heads for practicing hair!
Elle Sees said…
HA! to the duck story!! I was bitten in the eye by a duck as akid, so I've been forever scarred. And the crazy desk items---yup, been there! Have a great weekend, doll!
Marie said…
Wow about the duck!! I once got stuck in a traffic jam because a duck and her ducklings were crossing the street. It was annoying but so cute. Have a great weekend.
Nadine Lynn said…
Crazy the stuff that gets found when you clean out your work space, am I right? I would hate to share with other people because I am such a neat freak with my space. The duck story LOL!!!!!
Jane Davidson said…
OMG what use to be a salad?!?! Gross!!!! And that fork is too funny. A joint office sounds like a very interesting situation lol
The things we see on the road. LOL

My office could use a spring cleaning.
Christina said…
People brake a lot for animal crossings up here too, but it's mostly for deer, not a duck. Haha! I hope you're feeling better! I always injure myself in the most lame ways possible. It's never hiking or running, it's getting the groceries out of the car or bumping into a doorway. Haha!

I was a paralegal too! I haven't worked since having kids, but I'm thinking about going back this fall. It's hard to find part-time though. Luckily I didn't have to share a desk, because that salad container and year old cookies would GROSS ME OUT! Haha!
Audrey Louise said…
How odd to the duck story... Maybe he'd chased it off the highway?! Ha. Dunno...
I would HATE sharing a desk. I am such a territorial person. I think that'd make me miserable. And the former salad...?? Grosssss!!

Hope your hip/leg feels better soon! Sounds like a good reason to book a massage! ;)
Betsy said…
I was without a computer for two days and totally did spring cleaning too! Question, were the thin mints expired? If not I so would have eaten them haha
YUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK to the salad container. That would totally be something I would find on Jesse's desk. He has this weird kind of selective vision where he'll leave something on his desk and just not see it - until I point it out. And disgustingly this is often food when he's come home from working earlier than expected and eaten lunch at his desk, haha.