anyone want a free chicken?

Well it's the second time in two weeks that I'm writing a post that centers around the bathroom habits of animals.  Rest assured that no one is more disturbed by this turn of events than I am.  First it was Pearl, and now, chickens.

Let me back up.  A few weeks ago, we got four new baby chicks.  They were a day old when we got them and as adorable and tiny and cuddly as anything can possibly be.  We played with them for a while, and then got them all settled into their luxury living quarters, aka a big Rubbermaid container in our garage.  We plugged in their heat lamp to keep them at a balmy 95 degrees, and shut the door.  

 I had off the next day so I stayed up a little bit later than usual, and before I headed up to bed at about 11:30, I peeked into the garage to check on the chicks, only to see that their heat lamp had burned out and they were all piled on top of one another, shivering their little tail feathers off.  

Naturally, I did what any farmer does in this situation.  I went upstairs and woke Matt up, and he drove his F-150 to the 24 hour Walmart just like our forefathers.

In the meantime, I brought the Rubbermaid into the family room.  I parked it next to a space heater and filled a container with hot water so they could gather around it.  

While the chicks and I had our midnight bonding time, I decided to name them Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy after the Little Women, four of my other favorite chicks.

Eventually Matt came home with a new heat lamp and we turned their Rubbermaid into a sauna once again, but we did decide to leave them in the family room because it's still cold at night here and the garage gets very chilly.  

And now two weeks later, the chickens still live in our family room.  They are entertaining to watch, and are living up to their names.  Meg is firm but calm.  Jo is wild and slightly aggressive.  Beth hangs back and observes.  Amy likes to be the center of attention and I even caught her the other night sleeping with a clothespin on her beak to make it extra pointy.

Just kidding about that last part.

Anyway, I left the house around 8:30 yesterday for some meetings.  I got home at about 2:30, and went straight upstairs to my office to finish a few things.  I shut 'er down around 4:30, and headed outside to bring in the trashcans since it was trash day.  I went downstairs so I could go out through the garage door, and it was the first time I'd gone downstairs, and therefore the first time I'd seen the chicks, all day.

And do you know what greeted me when I walked down the steps?

A sight I won't soon forget.

Jo was sitting OUTSIDE OF THE CONTAINER.  And there was chicken poop ALL OVER THE RUG.

That's a guilty looking chicken if I ever saw one.

You can see that we did have chicken wire over the top of the container, but Jo had managed to make her great escape and left of her day of adventure all over our family room rug.  

TYPICAL JO.

Do you know how many times baby chicks poop every day?  I can tell you, it's A LOT.  

I wanted to cry.  And I'll be honest, for a few seconds I actually thought about turning around and going upstairs and pretending like I didn't see a thing, and let Farmer Matt discover the situation for himself when he got home. 

But I ended up putting Jo back in the box, and then I sprayed the whole carpet with a liberal dose of carpet cleaner, donned some gloves, and scrubbed my heart and my frustrations out.

I got it cleaned up, but I have the day off tomorrow so I am going to do another round of scrubbing just for peace of mind.  

I'm trying to find the silver lining here, and I will say that after a long winter of mud and snow and a house renovation, the rug needed a deep cleaning anyway.  

And I need chocolate.

obviously matt's going to be the parent who helps with the science homework

Well here I am to write about something that happened two weeks ago.  But if feels like a big deal and in 15 years I might want to look back and remember that day.  This blog has come in handy for historical documentation so many times.  Just this week Matt pondered how old our chickens were when we put them outside in the coop a few years ago and in just an instant I was able to pull up the blog post I wrote about it and tell him the date.

So anyway, way back on March 29th, we had my anatomy ultrasound.  

The ultrasound wasn't until 3:15, but Matt and I both took the entire day off work, and were still up at the crack of dawn because BIG DAY.  Matt spread lawn food on the grass, I cleaned the bathrooms, we went to the courthouse so Matt could pick up a permit, we went to the furniture store to pick up our new dining table set, and we went to Ollie's to buy a rug.  All before lunchtime.  After lunch we just aimlessly wandered around the house and the yard and killed time until the clock fiiiiiiiinally struck 2:40 and we headed for the hospital.  

The ultrasound took about 45 minutes and the baby looked perfect, coming in at about 10 ounces and 10 inches.  

A perfect 10.  

During the ultrasound, the tech asked if we had any questions and here is where Matt and  I differ.  He asked if the scientific purpose of the gel was to assist with the transmission of the ultrasound waves.

I asked if the umbilical cord connected the baby's belly button to my belly button.  

Actually I waited until the tech left the room for a minute to show the doctor the ultrasound results, and I just floated that question out to Matt and THANK GOODNESS I WAITED UNTIL WE WERE ALONE.  He said, "Well that is an absolutely ridiculous question."

Also, the answer to it is NO.

The tech came back in, told us the doctor said the baby looks perfect, and we asked her if she could tell us the gender.  Based on my question above, it should come as no surprise to you that I have always assumed that I will have a baby girl, because I am a girl.  I understand that biologically if that were true, the human race wouldn't be long for this world.  But in my head, I always figured, I'm a girl, I'll have a girl.

So imagine my surprise when the tech moved the wand around a little bit, studied the screen, and said, "It looks like you're having a boy!"  

A baby boy.  

We are thrilled.  We told our families and then went out to dinner to celebrate.  We also took our first family selfie.

While we were at dinner we talked all about HIM and what our life will look like with a son.  We really have zero idea what we're in for but Matt has three brothers and proclaimed confidently that he knows EVERY SINGLE THING there is to know about raising boys.  I'm writing that statement down to memorialize it so that I can pull up this blog post when that boy is inconsolable at 4 a.m. or drives the car into the side of the garage or fails music listening class in college, not that either of his parents have ever done those things.

We finished up the baby registry this week, so that was fun.  I gave it a final once over this morning and look what I found.  

Looks like Matt had been adding some things of his own.

I know he already knows everything about raising boys, but I hope he knows that he won't be able to use that for about 17 years.

show us your books: april edition

Well just like that it's time again for Show Us Your Books with Steph and Jana.  I have four to share this month!

First up is Go Ask Ali by Ali Wentworth.  

At once endearing and hilarious, thoughtful and far-fetched, this third collection offers Ali at her wisest and wittiest as she delivers tips, pointers, and quips on a host of life’s conundrums and sticky situations, including the funny, sometimes embarrassing yet unforgettable situations that have shaped her inimitable world view as a wife, mother, actress, comedian, and all around bon vivant. Thoroughly entertaining, Go Ask Ali is packed with thoughts and musings from "the girlfriend you want to have a glass of wine with, the one who makes you laugh because she sees the funny and the absurd in everything"

I read Ali Wentorth's book Happily Ali After last year, and I HOWLED with laughter.  This one was fine, but wasn't nearly as laugh out loud funny.  She does have a funny take on things, which I love.  Ali Wentworth is married to George Stephanopoulos and whether or not you agree with his political opinions, he sounds like a great husband.  A lot of comedians use their marriage and their spouse as the butt of mean-spirited jokes which I think is a real bummer. Even when Ali is writing funny stories about her husband or her marriage, it's good-natured and respectful, and I really enjoyed that.  And that's not fake news.

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Next up, One Day In December.

Laurie is pretty sure love at first sight doesn't exist anywhere but the movies. But then, through a misted-up bus window one snowy December day, she sees a man who she knows instantly is the one. Their eyes meet, there's a moment of pure magic...and then her bus drives away.

Certain they're fated to find each other again, Laurie spends a year scanning every bus stop and cafe in London for him. But she doesn't find him, not when it matters anyway. Instead they "reunite" at a Christmas party, when her best friend Sarah giddily introduces her new boyfriend to Laurie. It's Jack, the man from the bus. It would be.

What follows for Laurie, Sarah and Jack is ten years of friendship, heartbreak, missed opportunities, roads not taken, and destinies reconsidered. One Day in December is a joyous, heartwarming and immensely moving love story to escape into and a reminder that fate takes inexplicable turns along the route to happiness.

I have been on the library waiting list for so long that I'd forgotten I even requested this book until I got the text message that it was ready for pick-up.  I started one night after dinner and before I knew it I was up way past my bedtime weighing the pros and cons of staying up until I finished the entire thing.  I ended up reading it over the course of a few days, but I was constantly looking for ten minutes here or there where I could get a chapter or two in.  I got totally sucked into the story from the very beginning, and I really liked the characters.  I didn't always agree with the decisions that they made, and it sure made me glad my love life was never even close to being this complicated, but I'd recommend it for sure.

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The third book of the month was Upstairs at the White House: My Life with the First Ladies.

J. B. West, chief usher of the White House, directed the operations and maintenance of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue—and coordinated its daily life—at the request of the president and his family. He directed state functions; planned parties, weddings and funerals, gardens and playgrounds, and extensive renovations; and, with a large staff, supervised every activity in the presidential home. For twenty-eight years, first as assistant to the chief usher, then as chief usher, he witnessed national crises and triumphs, and interacted daily with six consecutive presidents and first ladies, as well as their parents, children and grandchildren, and houseguests—including friends, relatives, and heads of state.

 

This was my favorite book this month.  Sarah recommended it years ago and I've been waiting and waiting for my library system to get it and they finally did.  It's written by the man who was chief usher at the White House from 1941 to 1969. I LOVED it. He writes about the first ladies, and shares little stories about them, their quirks, personalities, and their interactions with staff and the presidents.  He goes into detail about preparing for state dinners, and changing the White House over when administrations changed, about hosting guests in the residence and the first ladies' favorite hobbies and foods, and their involvement in the daily workings of the White House and the presidency. It was fascinating. It wasn't at all political, as the author said, he didn't respect one person or party more than another, he respected the office of the President of the United States. I feel like an insider now on the inner workings of the White House. Highly recommend this one!

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The final book I read was The Elephant in the Room,

The government definition of obesity is a body mass index of 30 or more. My BMI is 60.7. My shirts are size XXXXXXL, which the big-and-tall stores shorten to 6X. I’m 6-foot-1, or 73 inches tall. My waist is 60 inches around. I’m nearly a sphere.

Those are the numbers. This is how it feels…

So begins The Elephant in the Room, Tommy Tomlinson’s remarkably intimate and insightful memoir of his life as a fat man. When he was almost fifty years old, Tomlinson weighed an astonishing—and dangerous—460 pounds, at risk for heart disease, diabetes, and stroke, unable to climb a flight of stairs without having to catch his breath, or travel on an airplane without buying two seats. Raised in a family that loved food, he had been aware of the problem for years, seeing doctors and trying diets from the time he was a preteen. But nothing worked, and every time he tried to make a change, it didn’t go the way he planned—in fact, he wasn’t sure that he really wanted to change.

In The Elephant in the Room, Tomlinson chronicles his lifelong battle with weight in a voice that combines the urgency of Roxane Gay’s Hunger with the intimacy of Rick Bragg’s All Over but the Shoutin’. He also hits the road to meet other members of the plus-sized tribe in an attempt to understand how, as a nation, we got to this point. From buying a FitBit and setting exercise goals to contemplating the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas, America’s “capital of food porn,” and modifying his own diet, Tomlinson brings us along on a candid and sometimes brutal look at the everyday experience of being constantly aware of your size. Over the course of the book, he confronts these issues head-on and chronicles the practical steps he has to take—big and small—to lose weight by the end.

I picked this up after I read about it on Michelle's blog.  It's written by a columnist who has struggled with obesity his entire life.  While his isn't a struggle I've had personal experience with, I found his story compelling. I LOVED his writing style. It was easy to read but he wrote with a lot of emotion and his writing was so genuine, honest, and vulnerable. He loves his family so much and wrote about them all so kindly. Michelle said she felt a lot of compassion when she read this and wanted to hug him, and I concur. 

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That's it for me this month! I love to read everyone's book posts with my library website open in another tab so I can make my requests! What do you recommend?