if backseat driving was an olympic sport, i'd win gold

Last Wednesday it was almost 80 degrees outside.  I smiled the minute I walked outside and pretty much didn't stop all afternoon.  I even took a nice long walk before dinner.  There is a 7:04 pm sunset in the 15 day forecast because we change the clocks soon and I feel like there is a light at the end of this long, winter tunnel.

Now, it's been rainy and gray since that glorious day last week and I'm pretty sure Don Henley was in Pennsylvania in February when he wrote Desperado for The Eagles because he was spot on in the verse: "Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime, the sky won't snow and the sun won't shine, it's hard to tell the nighttime from the day."

YES, TO ALL OF THE ABOVE, DON.

But despite the lousy weather as of late, there have been plenty of good things going on, starting with the Winter Olympics.  Matt and I had our traditional viewing of Cool Runnings, one of my very favorite movies of all time, and spent many nights on the couch stating we could "totally do that."  The other night during the snowboard half-pipe, Matt said, "I bet I could stand up right now and jump and do a 1440."

I think that's a case of, it's harder than it looks.

That also goes for ice skating.  The last time I was ice skating was about 4 years ago.  Matt and I went with my brother and sister-in-law, Alex.  Alex got right onto the ice and glided around like a graceful swan, Phil and Matt surprisingly have some skillz on the ice, and meanwhile I literally propelled myself by pulling myself along the boards.  I did not let go for one single second.  My brother said most people ice skate with their legs and I ice skate with my arms.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Also, I tweeted a post that apparently 266 people thought were funny.  It cracked me up because my tweets typically get anywhere from 0-2 likes, always from someone related or married to me.

Emily came home from college this weekend with her roommate.  I went to the mall with them on Sunday afternoon and I felt like I was transported back to middle school because we made stops at  The Icing, Bath and Body Works, and Auntie Anne's.  1999 called and wants their parachute pants back.

We also stopped at Primark where I shelled out eleven dollars of cold hard cash for this giant letter board.  I feel like the potential is endless.

Emily drove us to the mall because she got a new car this weekend.  Em has had her license for six years and she's driven me exactly zero times.  I ALWAYS offer to drive because, well, I like to.  The mall is a mile from my house and I sat in the backseat and gave instructions like "Watch those mirrors" and "Careful, this turn is a little tricky" and "People fly around this curve so be aware."

We had my dad's birthday lunch on Saturday and we all checked out Emily's new wheels.  Annie hopped right in, and despite the fact that the car was not even turned on, she buckled up.  She was so proud of herself.  You should have seen her face when she found the button to lower the window.

Also, she couldn't be more adorable.

In a final piece of breaking news around here, the Fig Twig has a leaf.  

I repeat, the fig twig has a leaf.  Send me all your best fig recipes.  It's okay if you need to dig deep in a recipe binder to find them, I probably won't be needing the for a solid two years.

Maybe I will have learned to ice skate by then.

everyone's a comedian

On Valentine's Day, this photo popped up in my memories app.

It seems healthy eating is something we do in February because tonight our wild and crazy snack was a piece of ancient 12 grain bread (the grain varieties are what's ancient, I just bought the bread this week), toasted, with a few sprays of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

Or, as Matt calls it, Believe It, It's Not Butter.

And in full disclosure I topped mine with a quarter block of I Can't Believe It's Not Cream Cheese.

Last week I told Matt, who is the car maintenance manager, that I was out of windshield wiper fluid.  I didn't mention it again, but the other day I tried to wash my windshield and plenty of washer fluid came right out.  When Matt got home from work I said, "Don't worry about filling up my wiper fluid. It must have just been frozen last week and has thawed with the warmer weather, because I used it today and it turns out I have plenty!"

And he said, "That's because I filled it."

Tonight, as we made our toast, I narrated the whole play by play experience like an Olympic commentator and by the end I was CRACKING UP.  Matt was laughing too, and just as I was thinking this may be the funniest thing I've ever done, he said "I am mostly just laughing at how hard you make yourself laugh."

It's true.  I am my own biggest fan.  You know that quote "feed me and tell me I'm pretty?"  Change that to "manage my car maintenance and tell me I'm funny" and I call that a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

I'm not the only one around here who likes to land a good joke.  Matt recently requested that when he makes a joke, I rate it on a scale of one to ten.  I'm a tough critic, but we settle for nothing less than top notch comedy at our house.

And plenty of washer fluid.

february books

Well it's time for the monthly book linkup with Steph and Jana, and I'm excited to see what everyone has been reading because I need some inspiration.  I haven't read much yet in 2018, but it was freezing cold and rainy on Saturday and I read an entire book.  I picked up The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time at the thrift store the other weekend for a quarter, and I'd say I got my money's worth.  The narrator is a fifteen year old boy with autism, and reading the book from his perspective was really interesting. He discovers a murdered dog in his neighborhood, and begins a quest to find out who did it, but ends up uncovering a lot more.

This month I also read Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis.  Rachel is one of my favorite people to follow on Facebook and Instagram, and I've read her fiction series and have her cookbook, so I was excited to read her first non-fiction book.

 

I'll be honest, I find a lot of books like this to be major eye rollers.  But I really enjoyed this one.  Rachel shares a lot about her family's experience with foster care and adoption, which I found interesting because I work in that field.  She didn't have an easy childhood and graduated high school early so she could move on her own to LA, where she worked her way up in an event planning company until she could start her own, and now she owns a multi-million dollar media company.  I appreciated her advice, and her motivation and determination is contagious.

That's it for me this month.  I just started Laura Bush's book Spoken from the Heart, and I have War Brides on my nightstand to start.  Any great recommendations?

i'll be making ALL the fig jam in about eight years

For the last few years, Matt has been talking about getting a fig tree to add to the "orchard" portion of our backyard, which consists of a plum tree and a peach tree.  We think.  We haven't actually gotten any fruit from either tree yet.

Anyway, he has been researching online for a while, and finally bit the bullet and placed an order last week.  It cost $50.00, which seemed a little pricey to me but he selected the two gallon tub and predicated that it would already be about four or five feet high, so we could plant it this spring and have figs by fall.

Matt anticipated the delivery all week, and today, it arrived.

Please prepare yourself for the new addition to the orchard.

I laugh every time I look at it.  I'm calling it the fig twig.

On the plus side, we won't have to worry about pruning it for a while.

budweiser is giving the entire city free beer

Well, I'm sure everyone has been on the edge of your seat waiting for an update on last post's trifecta: the ceiling, the tent, and the water meter.

The ceiling is finished.

Our neighbor Diane dragged the tent fifteen feet back into her yard where it still remains to this day so Matt did not have the opportunity to trash pick it, much to his disappointment and my delight.  Diane must have put something inside the tent to weight it, down because while it's blown and flipped around, it hasn't moved from it's anchored spot.  

I remain unclear as to why one would randomly set up a tent in late January.

As for the water meter, let me just share this word of warning.  If your water meter is hypothetically broken, and even though you call the water company right away, they can't come out for months, let me caution you against uncharacteristically liberal water usage during that time.  Because the repairman might hypothetically come out and tell you that while the meter gauge was broken, it still records usage digitally and it's time to pay the piper.  

Or, pay Aqua Water Utility company, as the case may be.

Ask me how I know.

Those long showers and extra loads of laundry cost a pretty penny, and if we can't make the mortgage payment next month I might have to ask Diane if we can sleep in her tent.

Also, it's a big week around here because the Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl, for the first time EVER.  I shared two weeks ago how the police department greased the light poles downtown with Crisco to prevent climbing.  People still managed to climb them, so this week they broke out the good stuff.

Hydraulic fluid.


They even had shirts made.



And then the Eagles won and the city went crazy.  Actually, the majority of the celebrations weren't destructive, but a few bad apples can spoil the bunch, or knock down some light poles, despite the hydraulic fluid.

The victory parade is on Thursday and they are expecting THREE MILLION people downtown.

Matt and I were talking about Justin Timberlake's halftime show, and Matt said, "I don't get it, is Justin Timberlake even relevant anymore?"

I know.  God bless him.  I didn't marry him for his pop culture knowledge. 

However, in full disclosure, I should admit that I thought "dilly, dilly," the Budweiser catchphrase that has gone completely viral, was a term that President Trump invented.

A la "covfefe."

I had no idea it was from Budweiser.

And then the "Philly, Philly" trick play was key in the game, and Nick Foles became the first quarterback in a Super Bowl to throw AND catch a touchdown pass.

(If you play that video you can hear the quarterback and coach talk about calling the play).


I should also admit that I am not an NFL fan and I did not even watch an Eagles game until the division championship two weeks ago so BANDWAGON, PARTY OF ONE.  

But I was able to scrounge up some Eagles green nail polish for this week and read 5492 articles online about the Eagles.  



And for them to have such a season with a coach that just two years ago was called the worst coaching hire in the NFL, to lose the starting quarterback in week 14 and then to make it to the Super Bowl, only to beat the PATRIOTS with our BACKUP QUARTERBACK, it's a story you can't help but love. 

I drove to work yesterday and all of the billboards on the highway said YO PHILLY, WE DID IT, and it made me so happy.

  
The host of the radio show I listen to on the drive home said he hopes that this is the year every single Philly sports team wins their championship.

I think that's a pretty big jump but go ahead and wish for the moon, Philadelphia sports fans.

Dilly, dilly.

Or Philly, Philly.