pearls of wisdom. or...something

Last week was not my favorite in the work department.  On Thursday morning I sat in my car in the parking garage for a few minutes willing myself to actually walk into the office.  And then I got out, and was standing at the passenger side of the car getting my laptop bag and coffee, and it was so windy that the car door blew into my head.

I literally saw stars.

My first thought was I'M BEING MUGGED but after I remembered it was an especially blustery day, I just headed into the office and thought "please, get me to the weekend."

I did indeed make it to the weekend, and it was a busy one.  Friday was Matt's birthday, Saturday I had a bridal shower, then Matt's parents came over for dinner, and on Sunday we had my family over for a birthday brunch for my dad.

You can see Annie was feeling especially crazy.

Speaking of craziness and Sundays, last Sunday my parents went to visit Emily at college so I was in charge of watching Pearl.

Pearl is now four months old and let me tell you, she is a wild thing.  She eats your shoes, both while they are off AND while they are still very much on your feet.

She bounds through the pond without a care.



And she would rather eat her bed than sleep in it.

My mom and I frequently walk at a local trail after work, and now Pearl has joined our walking club.  She has never met a person she doesn't ABSOLUTELY ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT LOVE and practically hops on her hind legs across the path to get to someone.  You can almost hear her saying, "PET ME, PET ME, OH PLEASE PET ME."

It's a little embarrassing.

She graduated from puppy kindergarten a few weeks ago and immediately took a giant bite out of the bottom corner of her diploma, which is proudly hanging on the fridge at my parents' house.

It reminds me of my junior year of high school when they would hang my D+ physics homework on the fridge.

I wouldn't say they were proud of the D+, but when it comes to physics, everything is relative.

(Get it?)

(Just a little physics humor.)

(And that's why I became an English major).

Anyway, the only time Pearl is somewhat calm is when it's time to go in her crate.  Then she flattens herself completely against the ground, and shimmies along the ground to her crate.

I can't tell you how much time I spent luring her into her crate with a pieces of hot dog last Sunday.

Maybe I'm the crazy one.

so much celebrating

Well, Christmas 2016 is (almost) officially a wrap.

Last Thursday night I finished up the rest of my wrapping.

Unfortunately, as I wrapped a pair of PJ pants for my dad, I cut a giant hole in them.

And so, on Friday morning, I had to add a stop at Kohl's to my list of errands to run, and therefore went to the three worst places ever to go on December 23rd.  Kohl's, the grocery store, and Sam's Club.

It's a Christmas miracle that I didn't lose my mind, but I came out unscathed just in time to meet my dad and Emily for lunch at Grub Burger.

We rarely do things just the three of us, so lunch was fun and delicious and a great kickoff to a weekend of family.  After lunch, I stayed at my parents' for a bit and my mom and I set the dining room table for Christmas dinner.

On Christmas Eve, Matt and I went to his aunt's house after church.  I lucked out in the white elephant Pollyanna because I chose #18.  That meant I could steal, and so I stole a Magic Bullet blender from Matt's cousin.  We've already ground coffee beans and made about 12 smoothies which will hopefully cancel out the 235 bacon wrapped sausages I enjoyed at the party.

We got home late on Christmas Eve, but made a fire and watched a Christmas story.  On Christmas morning, Matt and I exchanged gifts and then he made Rudolph pancakes for breakfast.

My parents hosted Christmas dinner and my dad made prime rib.  He carved it at the table and it was so fun and fancy.

Also, delicious.

On Monday we spent the day celebrating Christmas with Matt's dad and step-mom's side of the family.

Emily turned 21 on Tuesday, and on Wednesday we spent the day in NYC.

And tomorrow morning my siblings and I will exchange our gifts and Christmas will officially be over.

Just in time to start celebrating New Year's.

And take a long nap.

my favorite niece

I mentioned a few months ago that my brother and his wife were expecting a baby.  The baby was due August 3rd, although I was selfishly "predicting" that the baby would be born on July 30th so that I could take the day off and "miss" a training at work.

Well, my brother called me while I was in a meeting on July 9th.  He didn't leave a voicemail, so I quickly texted him to see what was up.

SOUND. THE. ALARMS.

My brother kept me posted throughout the afternoon and by the time I got home I had so much nervous energy that I changed the sheets on our bed, rearranged the kitchen cabinets, went for a long walk, and ironed three pairs of shorts.

I've never ironed shorts before in my life and I haven't since.

I didn't know what to do with myself.

Finally, when there was no baby by 10:00, I sat down to paint my nails.  I painted my toes blue and my fingers pink because we didn't know if the baby was boy or girl and I am an equal opportunity aunt.

And then at 11:00, when there was still no baby, I repainted my fingers blue because even though I thought girl all along I was having an eleventh hour change of heart.

And THEN I got into bed where I laid wide awake the entire night except for maybe twenty minutes when I fell asleep and had a dream that it was TWIN BOYS.

I woke up at the crack of dawn and picked my sister up and we walked laps at the mall because there was nothing left in my tiny apartment to clean or organize and did I mention the nervous energy?

Then we went to Panera where we got iced caramel lattes, and just as we sat down my brother texted "Not much longer now."

I looked at Emily and said, "DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE? I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD LEAVE."

She wasn't about to argue, so we left.

We went to my parents' house and Emily made me a grilled cheese sandwich and I ate exactly one bite.  And then I made the executive decision that we needed to go to Target and pick out a boy outfit and a girl outfit.  We picked out the cutest outfits in the store and then we walked around.

And around.

And around again.

And then we discreetly hid our outfits on the very back of a rack and walked next door to TJ Maxx because I promise you we had looked at every piece of merchandise in Target.

Twice.

And when we looked at every piece of merchandise in TJ Maxx, we went back to Target, re-secured our outfits, and began walking through the purse department for the fourteenth time when my brother called and said, "You have a niece!"

We left for the hospital as soon as my dad got home from work and even though baby A had to spend her first night in the NICU, we got to go up and see her.

Sidenote: we had to scrub in to the NICU and I really felt like I was on Grey's Anatomy.  As I was sudsing up at the sink and saw a doctor pass by I really had to resist the urge to yell, "Push one of epi! We're going to need a CT, and page cardio!"

Anyway, to the surprise of no one, she was the most adorable little peanut in the world.

My sister and I went back to the hospital for a few hours the next day and got to hold our new favorite family member to our heart's content.

When baby A is older, I'll apologize for my blue nails in these pictures.

But I hope she will appreciate that even though my nails were the wrong color when I met her for the first time, my shorts were crisply ironed.

in lieu of a post with actual paragraphs

I went to the mall this afternoon with my mom and sister.  While Emily and I hunted for shorts for my mom she said, "Oh, I am STARVING" and pulled a bag full of Oreos out of her purse.

"Do you want one?" she asked.

"No thanks, I brought a snack too," I said.

We are so healthy.

And prepared.

the only time my parents approved of pink hair

My friend Jenna is getting married in August and I am a bridesmaid in her wedding.

Jenna is my oldest friend.  We went to kindergarten together and have been friends ever since, which makes that 22 years of friendship.  Jenna lives in Boston now, but she was home for the weekend and I went to her house on Sunday to see her veil and look at bridal hairstyles on Pinterest and help her assemble her wedding invitations.

We worked on wedding tasks for a few hours and then her parents ordered us pizza and we sat at her kitchen table eating our pizza and brownies for dessert while her dad made corny jokes and her mom refilled our lemonade.  It almost felt like we traveled back in time to sixth grade instead of being grown ups who live on our own and have real jobs and were talking about her WEDDING.

Jenna's shower was last month, and the night before I went through my box of mementos from my own bridal shower last year, and came across the slideshow that was played.  There were pictures of me and Matt and then pictures of the two of us.  That night Matt and I watched the DVD together and by the way we oohed and aahed over our childhood adorableness I almost looked into upgrading to a two bedroom apartment to accommodate our egos.

Although, let's be honest, you'd be hard pressed to find kids cuter than the two of us.

But perhaps the most entertaining pictures were the photos of me between the ages of about three and five.  Those were the years that I desperately wanted long hair, but what I had was this adorable little bowl cut.

And so in lieu of actual hair, I wore a pink baby nightgown on my head.  All.  The.  Time.  And I called it "my hair" without even a hint of irony.  

As in, "Are you ready to eat breakfast Laura?" 

"One minute Mom, just putting on my shoes and my hair."

And my mom would style my nightgown-hair every morning in various styles per my request.  Some days I would wear it "all down," but my favorites were "up on both sides" and a "high ponytail."  My mom was even able to rig up pig tails by twisting the nightgown on my head and putting the arms in one pigtail and the body in the other.

My parents finally bought me an Ariel wig, but I still loved my hair.

And my hair is in a box in my mom's closet.

Don't worry Jenna.  

I won't wear it to the wedding.

ice ice maybe

Well, I had plans to meet my friend Rose for lunch today, but woke up to an unexpected ice storm and all of the news stations were warning viewers to STAY HOME! DO NOT DRIVE ON THE TREACHEROUS ROADS!  After a few phone calls Rose and I decided that as delicious as the P.F. Chang's lettuce wraps are, they weren't worth the risky driving.  So we postponed our lunch date until next weekend and Matt I hunkered down all day.  It was the kind of day when I showered and got right back into pajamas, and the only reason to get up from the couch was to walk to the kitchen for a snack.

(Update: We were going a little crazy by mid-afternoon, so we drove to Sam's Club since it had warmed up outside.  We bought sandwich bags, two bottles of V-8 Splash, coffee creamer, and a broom.  I don't know how we were surviving without those items.

((Don't worry, I did change out of my pajamas for the outing.))

Speaking of ice, Matt and I went ice skating with my brother and his wife a few weeks ago.  That is remarkable because one of my biggest fears in life is maneuvering on ice.  Either on my feet or in my car.  I hate it all.  I am a girl who prefers dry surfaces and plenty of reliable traction.

Michelle loves to tell the story about how I left for class one morning during our junior year of college and she left our apartment a good twenty minutes later.  And who did she pass on College Avenue but ME.  I guess you could say that I was TAKING.  MY.  TIME.

Matt and I arrived at the skating rink first, and as we laced up I wondered aloud about who the first person was to say, "Hey, I've got a jackpot idea.  Why don't I attach a very thin blade to the bottom of my shoe and then slide around on this ice?"

Matt listened and then said, "I'm not sure, but right now I'm really wishing I didn't get rid of my skate hook."

I'm sorry, your what?

Evidently, Matt was quite the ice skater back in his youth and even had his own skates and a hook to lace them up nice and tight.  He would lace those skates up on Friday nights in 2001 and rule the rink.

This was all BREAKING NEWS to me, and suddenly I felt even more self-conscious about my atrocious skating skills because even though I told Matt to set his expectations for my skating abilities pretty low, I wasn't sure he was prepared for quite how horrendous I was going to be.

As the clock struck 7:40, the gates opened up for free skate and I managed to get myself from the floor onto the ice all while staying upright.

My sister in law was a figure skater back in the day, so she glided out of that gate and around the ice so effortlessly that it was like Michelle Kwan herself had graced us with her presence.  My brother was surprisingly coordinated on the ice for being a six foot seven guy who, on the ordinary day, is marginally to exceptionally clumsy.  And Matt was shaky for the first few seconds but then his skills from 2001 came right back to him because off he skated.

And then there was me, propelling myself around the rink by cautiously pulling myself along the boards.  After he finished his first lap, my brother skated up to me and said, "Laur! You're ice skating with your arms!"

As Matt approached, I push myself off the boards and right into him.  And I did not let go for the rest of the night.  I gained some confidence after a few laps (aka I was moving my feet a little here and there instead of just having Matt pull me along), and Matt said, "Now that we're going a little faster, make sure that if you fall, you clench your hands into fists so that your fingers don't get sliced off by the blade of a passing skater."

Well, TAKE ME BACK TO THE BOARDS.

Just as he shared that positive little gem, we came upon a man pulling himself on his stomach to the exit gate with a trail of blood behind him.

Matt shook his head and said, "...and that's why you need to clench your fist..."

The good news is that I managed to stay upright the entire evening and left with all ten fingers!

Today's ice/rain storm has created a pond behind our apartment.  When I looked out the window a little bit ago, I saw two ducks swimming around.  Once Matt learned about our new neighbors he headed out onto the balcony with his new duck call and had himself a little practice session.

It's supposed to get very cold tonight, so the "pond" will likely be a sheet of ice by tomorrow morning.  Perhaps I should go buy a pair of skates and get myself out there for a practice session too.

this is why i am a homebody

Last week I had to go on a work trip, and I stayed in the not-at-all-difficult-to-navigate hotel with the fourth and fifth floor on the same level, and the third floor located on the ground level.



I have stayed there at least ten times and I still get lost trying to find my way around.  

When I checked in Wednesday evening for my twelve hour stay, I was given a glass of complimentary apple cider, information about the continental breakfast, and a key for room 441.  I immediately began to regret my excessive packing as I lugged my rolling suitcase, laptop bag, two jackets, purse, lunchbox, and complimentary apple cider down the hall to the elevator, where I made the pleasant discovery that I was staying in the friendliest hotel in THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.



I could hardly believe my good luck.

My belongings and I traveled from the groundthird floor up to the fourthfifth floor, and down several long hallways until at last I arrived at room 441.

I slid my key into the door, and the red light blinked.

Slid it in again.  Red light.

I flipped it over and tried once more.  And once more I saw the red light.

So I gathered my composure and all of my belongings and trudged back to the desk.  A different employee was there and she said, in a VERY FRIENDLY manner, "Hello, miss!!!! Is there something I can help you with?!!!"

"There is," I said, "I just checked into room 441 a minute ago and my room key isn't working."

She typed furiously on her keyboard for a few seconds and then said, with the biggest smile in the entire country, "I'm so sorry, but no one has checked in yet for room 441."

"Well," I said, "I am all checked in.  And my paperwork here says room 441."

After she looked into the matter a bit further and consulted with her manager, she discovered that I was supposed to be in room 449.  As she fixed me up a new key, she looked at me and said, "Don't worry Ms. C.!  You aren't the crazy person!  I AM!" with the COUNTRY'S FRIENDLIEST smile on her face.

I didn't think I was crazy at all, but the statement was oddly reassuring.

I am happy to report that the key to 449 worked beautifully and aside from a moment of my own confusion in the elevator, the rest of my stay at THE FRIENDLIEST HOTEL IN THE COUNTRY was incident free.

Since the location of my meeting was halfway to Penn State, I decided to drive the rest of the way there after my Thursday meeting and visit Emily.

I also decided to book a hotel for the two of us since my days of sleeping in a college dorm are way behind me, and what college girl doesn't love a chance to get out of her dorm for a night?

Emily and I checked into the hotel on Thursday evening and the lady behind the desk gave us the key to room 233.

As we made our way to the room I told Em all about my experience from the night before and we laughed and laughed because ISN'T THAT CRAZY?  HOPE WE DON'T HAVE SUCH BAD LUCK THIS TIME AROUND.

And then I slid the key into the door in room 233 and it opened right up.

I turned on the light and waltzed in a few steps, only to discover THERE WAS ALREADY SOMEBODY IN THERE.

I saw a pizza and sodas on the desk, and I do believe I saw legs under the covers but I cannot be sure because I backed right out of that room faster than I've moved in years.

I whisper-yelled GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! as I literally RAN.  EMILY. OVER.

We hightailed it back down to the desk as Emily kept saying how that seemed like the opening scene of a Law and Order SVU episode and sufficiently FREAKING ME OUT.

When we got to the front desk the lady asked what was wrong, and I said, "It appears that there is someone in the room already."

"Well, there shouldn't be," she said.

THERE IS, M'AM, I SAW THE BIG GULP AND THE PEPPERONI PIZZA ON THE DESK WITH MY OWN TWO EYES.

She reassigned us to another room, which was, quite fortunately, unoccupied.

And then we took this adorable picture because we were so happy to be reunited and headed out for dinner (Emily), and...alive (me).

We had a very pleasant stay, but I think my next visit will just be a day trip.