it's been a rough weekend for my self-esteem

Well, I am here to report back on a recipe that I mentioned I was planning to make for dinner on Thursday night.  It was a paleo recipe that boasted that the sauce tasted JUST like Alfredo sauce, but was significantly healthier since it was made with just chicken broth, coconut milk, and cashews.

Do you know what the sauce tasted like?

Chicken broth, coconut milk, and cashews.

Basically, it tasted like sadness.

I HATE to waste food, but I had to throw it away.  It was inedible.  The sauce was supposed to go over chicken and broccoli, so I just dumped a bunch of soy sauce in the pan and called it good.

The following afternoon I had a belated holiday lunch with several coworkers.  There was an emergency at work so I was a little bit late to the restaurant, and when I got there the only spot left was at the end of the table.  The group had already ordered some appetizers and I saw a platter of nachos, and a tray with some crackers and bacon on it that looked delicious.  Since the table was long and crowded I passed my plate down and just asked that they put a few things on it and send it back.

When my plate returned to me, I saw that I'd made a terrible error in judgment.  What looked like a piece of bacon from my seat at the end of table was actually a piece of RAW TUNA.

I am not a person who hides her facial expressions well (this is something I am trying to work on in 2018) and someone commented that I looked surprised.  I told them I expected bacon and asked that they go about their business and not stare at me while I tasted the tuna, because I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to chew it, and just had to swallow it down with a big gulp of water.

I was right.

When I got home on Friday night we got an alert that my credit card had been hacked.  Matt called the bank (should out to USAA and their amazing fraud detection) and we found out that while three charges had been declined, two charges went through, at a Citgo gas station and Chuck E. Cheese in Georgia.  I hope they got some good microwave pizza and a plate of nachos with that sweet orange cheese.

Yesterday Matt and I spent ALL DAY LONG working in the kitchen.



We finished hanging up all of the cabinets, and by 6:00 we were exhausted and could not wait to get our of there.  So, we went to Senor Salsa for dinner.  Nothing says cheers to success like a plate of Enchiladas Supreme and some cheese dip cooked by someone else.



Seriously.  The menu actually said cheese dip.  Senor Salsa is nothing if not authentic.  While we were there we tried to calculate how many hours we've spent on the kitchen so far.  We had a calculator out before the appetizer arrived so basically we know how to party on a Saturday night.

Matt was in charge of dinner tonight.  He made the most amazing pork chops I think I've ever had, and it's not easy to impress me with a pork chop.  While he cooked I downloaded the app I've seen everyone on social media lately, called Google Arts and Culture.  There is a feature that allows you to see if there is a painting in an art museum somewhere that looks like you.

Here is where I caution you not to utilize this particular feature if you're in an unstable place emotionally.  Because I took a photo of myself, and here was my first result.

It's called Portrait of A. MAN.



I happen to have a dermatologist appointment on Tuesday, so I've spent the remainder of this evening researching what lotions and potions I can ask her to prescribe to me to restore a youthful, feminine beauty.

I'm looking at you, Retinol.