the road to penn state was apparently paved with nails

Emily moved right from Penn State to northern Minnesota to work with Americorps the day after her graduation from Penn State in May.  She didn't know where she would be living, so she could only take what fit in the back of her tiny SUV.  There were still some things in her apartment, so I offered to take a vacation day and go back with my mom to bring home the rest of her things.  Today was that day. 

PSU is about a three and a half hour drive away, so my mom picked me (and Flat Emily) up around 8:00, and by 8:07 I was ranking my favorite over the counter pain relievers.  With a kickoff conversation like that, it's a wonder she didn't turn back around and drop me off. 

(In case you're curious and WHY WOULDN'T YOU BE, Aleve is my favorite.)

(FollowedbyMotrinTylenolAdvil I'm sorry I had to share.)

Anyway, the drive to Penn State was pretty smooth.  We covered all of the usual conversation ground - national news, local news, work, family, beauty products, dinner ideas, Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton's wardrobes, and celebrities that are bugging us right now. 

We got to Em's apartment, carried the boxes downstairs, loaded up the car, and gave her room and bathroom one final cleaning all in about an hour and a half.

Once we finished carrying all the boxes down we took a little break and mom said, "It's really not as much stuff as I expected.  This isn't bad at all.  It's a good thing Dad didn't take a day off for this."

As a person who DID take a day off for this, I was highly offended.

Just kidding I thought it was hilarious.

We loaded the car, returned her keys to the rental office, and headed onto campus to get a well-deserved lunch at the famous creamery.  We had to go around the block twice to find the entrance to the parking garage and then tried to go in the wrong door to the creamery building, but we told ourselves that Penn State gave us both college degrees so we should be able to figure out how to get an ice cream cone. 

We got inside, ate absolutely delicious sandwiches outside under shady trees and I could have stayed there all day.  But the road was calling, so we got three half-gallons of ice cream and a summer sausage in a bag with dry ice for home, two vanilla milkshakes for the road, and set off.

Mom drove up in the morning, so I was driving home.  My phone was almost dead so my mom offered to get my charger out of my purse.  She was finally able to unearth it from beneath the lip gloss collection that I carry around with me.

She counted ten glosses. 

I know ten is a lot, but it's not like lip gloss is an outlandish item to have in a purse.  My mom decided to count how many glosses she had in her's, and she had a perfectly reasonable one.

But do you know what else she had? TWO SETS OF CHOPSTICKS.

I joked that between my lip gloss and her chopsticks, we were basically ready for anything.

And then the low tire pressure light went on.

"Uh-oh, the tire pressure light is on.  Do you think I should pull over?" I said.

"No, I don't think so," Mom said.  "I think you're fine to just keep going."

Because I wasn't quite so sure about that, I decided to pull into the right lane while mom called dad.  He didn't answer (forgot he was getting his hair cut), so she called my brother.  She gave him the five second run down and he said, "Are you close to an exit?" 

"Yes," she said.

"Okay.  Get off at the exit. Drive carefully and slowly to the nearest gas station."

I don't know that I've ever heard my brother use a more serious voice.  I half-expected him to say PLEASE REMAIN CALM. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.

But he didn't.  He calmly advised us to check for a nail and wouldn't you know, there was a nail.  He asked if we could put the spare donut on and after we stopped laughing we told him no, and even if we did, it was buried under all of Emily's earthly possessions in the back.  Mom said she'd sell the car and buy a new one to drive home before she'd unpack the trunk and change a tire.

I am my mother's daughter.

Luckily, there was an auto shop half a mile away, so I SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY drove down the road and my mom went into the office hoping for pity and kindness and a mechanic willing to fix a tire exactly 26 minutes before closing time on the Friday of a holiday weekend.

Luckily they could change the tire and we went into the waiting room to sit while they worked on it.  About the time we sat down, a very sweaty mechanic came in from the garage, walked right up to the small fan on the shelf behind the counter, lifted his whole shirt right up, and just stood there with the fan blowing on his stomach.

"Ya hot, Steve?" his coworker asked.

"Yeah man, I'm overheating," he said.

As Steve was cooling down, the manager, John, picked up the phone, and, I kid you not, told the person on the other end, "Ohhhh boy.  Oh yeah, you're going to need to eat lots and lots of fiber.  That'll really loosen things up and get 'em going."

He changes tires and gives medical advice of the gastrointestinal variety.  A regular renaissance man.

After his phone call he struck up a conversation with us, which quickly went from the obvious flat tires to him quizzing us on the lyrics of "The Wheels on the Bus.

I will tell you right now, if you had asked me this morning the craziest thing I could imagine happening today, in no universe would I have said sitting in an auto shop waiting room in central Pennsylvania being quizzed on the lyrics of The Wheels on the Bus by the head mechanic.

But John had the song lyrics printed out, because he only knows two verses and wants to learn more, so he quizzed us what sounds each thing made.

The doors? Open and shut.

The wipers? Swish, swish, swish.

The babies? Wah wah wah.

The horn?  Beep beep beep.

The money? Clink clink clink.

The mother and daughter waiting in the auto shop waiting room?  GET US HOME.

All joking aside he was a very nice man and his shop sure did save the day.  We promised John we would learn how to change a tire, got back on the road, stopped for coffee and gas, got BACK on the road and made it home almost 12 hours after we'd left. 

We could have been halfway to Minnesota.

I had a little headache by the time we pulled into my driveway.  Pajamas, some grilled chicken, and a bowl of Penn State ice cream for dessert was just what the doctor ordered.

And maybe an Aleve.