When our teacher discovered the glove balloons, she taped them to the chalkboard and told us we all had to stay at school until the offenders came clean. My classmates didn't seem concerned about the prospect of staying past dismissal, but I was not happy because I was lieutenant of the safety patrol, and the rest of the school relied on me and my neon orange safety belt and official lieutenant badge to make it through dismissal.
Fun fact, lieutenant of the safety patrol was the one and only position I've ever run for in my whole life.
That's right. I ran and was elected to be lieutenant of the St. David School safety patrol. Make no mistake, I didn't run for captain. Too much responsibility. Put me second in command and I'm a happy girl.
Anyway, it didn't take long until the culprits came clean and admitted to their role in blowing up the rubber gloves.
I tell that story because I got home from work today, sat down, and could not believe my eyes when I saw the situation south of my knees.
Yikes.
My feet looked just like those rubber glove balloons. Round and puffy with my poor vienna sausage toes sticking off the end. I've never had well defined calves, but everything from my knee to my toes had the same circumference, and the spot where my ankles used to be was replaced with rolls. My feet even jiggled when I walked.
There are a lot of perks to having a best friend experience pregnancy at the same time as you, so I texted Michelle to tell her about my feet because I knew she could empathize. "Send me a pic!" she said. Michelle is a nurse so I figured she would tell me if the situation appeared medically alarming, so I put my pride aside and sent her a photo. She texted back that Jessica Simpson had the worst swollen pregnant feet ever.
I went about my lounging and my phone rang about an hour later. It was Michelle. "No seriously, how bad are your feet really?" she said.
"You saw the pic!" I told her. "
WAIT, THOSE WERE YOUR FEET?" she said.
She thought I had googled a photo of Jessica Simpson's feet and sent that.
Oh no. Nope. Sad to say I'm the proud owner of those giant Flintstone feet.
And that's why for the last three hours I've been sitting in the recliner with two bags of frozen broccoli normandy on my feet.
Well, that's not completely true. I did get up once to go upstairs and when I got there, I launched into a diatribe for poor, unsuspecting Matt about how unfair it is that the electrical outlet on my side of the bed has all of the community items, like the lamp and the sleep number bed and the fan and IT IS SO UNFAIR THAT I HAVE TO UNPLUG SOMETHING IF I WANT TO CHARGE MY PHONE AND WHY AM I IN CHARGE OF ALL THE COMMUNITY ITEMS ON MY SIDE WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING ON YOUR SIDE BUT YOUR PHONE CHARGER?
I'm going to blame the state of my feet and the electrical outlet outburst on the 90 degree weather and the end of a very long week. I'm so glad that tomorrow is Friday. We don't have any big plans for the weekend, but I think I may go buy an extension cord.
And ice packs.
And some new frozen vegetables.
5 comments:
Ugh. I hope this coming week is better. Well do I remember my own summer pregnancy and the shock of seeing a solid tube of swollen tissue where my relatively attractive ankles used to be. I distinctly remember thinking, "Well, it's official. I am now the cliche of a pregnant lady."
Happily, it goes away pretty much immediately after birth. At least, mine did. And in the meantime, more watermelon and ice cream, plus an ice pack.
Whoa... That's kind of terrifying. I haven't had much swelling yet but I'm only in week 17. Hope you have a less swollen weekend and you find an extension cord. Somehow I always get the short end of the stick when it comes to that stuff, too. I'd have totally freaked out on K for the same thing. LOL
Swollen feet were a hassle because you never knew what would make them better, aside from time. How far along as you?
I remember after delivery they were worse (like in that first week of being home) because all the displaced fluid needed somewhere to go (especially if you have an IV!) and it just goes to the feet.
Ugh, I feel your pain. My feet swelling was AWFUL both times I was pregnant. And yes, they looked exactly like blown up gloves from the hospital. Lol. That's exactly how my SIL described them when she came to visit after Jacob was born. Hopefully your swelling will go down soon, but probably not since it's summer after all!
Awww poor lady - can you stick your feet in a bucket of ice water?
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