imagine there is a clever title right here

Well, I think it's an appropriate time to talk about the biggest news of the week.  

You might think I mean the presidential election.  No, I mean the fact that yesterday I received my quarterly 401k statement in the mail.  I KNOW.  BIG. NEWS.  I love reading my 401k statement and studying the graphs and seeing how much it has changed.  

Also, I am proud to report that if I decide to retire tomorrow, I have enough money to live an extremely modest lifestyle and survive for approximately the next 7 weeks.

I thought about displaying the statement on my fridge, partially because I'm proud of it and partially because I would love to see Matt's reaction the next time he comes over and sees a 401k statement proudly hanging on the refrigerator door.

Sometimes (okay, a lot) I do things just to see his reaction.  Take last week, for example.  He has diabetes and his blood sugar went a wee bit low, so I LOVINGLY and GENEROUSLY volunteered to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  He stood next to me in the kitchen while I made it, and when I was almost finished I drew some little designs in the peanut butter.  A smiley face and a few hearts.  Then I went on and on explaining how I do that to every sandwich I make as a little special treat for the recipient, because even though you can't see the shapes in the peanut butter, the sandwich tastes just a little bit better because you can tell it was MADE WITH LOTS OF LOVE.   Also because I love to hear myself talk.

Matt stood beside me and went along with it and then he scarfed down that sandwich

Speaking of food, I decided to make nachos while I was watching the election coverage the other night, but when I took the jar of salsa out of the fridge, I couldn't open it.  Matt suggested running the lid under hot water, but when that attempt was futile, I consulted The Google because desperate times call for wikipedia. 

And this was what I found.

Wow.

Since I wasn't willing to risk a fractured hand just for some mediocre homemade nachos, I decided to give the old fashioned method of twisting the lid another try.  And eventually, it worked.  I was elated.  Those nachos were delicious, but nothing tastes quite as sweet as victory.

Unless, of course, it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with hearts inside.

because it's snowing here, so i'd kind of like to go back

 

never doubt betty crocker. or, for that matter, tom hanks.

I just made myself a big mug of hot chocolate FROM SCRATCH.  And by "from scratch" I mean I didn't use Swiss Miss.  I had a canister of Godiva cocoa in my cabinet that I bought a few weeks ago when I decided that I was going to start baking all sorts of things from scratch.  That sentence should actually read "start baking things at all" because, let's be honest, I wasn't baking MUCH OF ANYTHING before that. 

I can't remember what came over me on that day but I found a recipe and gathered ingredients, and several hours and one delicious, yet VERY, VERY EXPENSIVE, chocolate cake later, I decided Betty Crocker was really onto something with her whole JUST ADD WATER boxed mixes. And so my Baking From Scratch Career began and ended on the very same day, which explains why I had a mostly full canister of eleven dollar Godiva cocoa in my cabinet tonight.  So I made hot chocolate because as the saying goes- those who can't bake, microwave.

I really wish I could come to you tonight with a summary of my very exciting weekend, but that's not possible because my weekend was pretty status quo.  Matt had to work on Saturday and I had to work on Sunday which puts a SERIOUS CRAMP IN MY WEEKEND STYLE.  We did go out at night though, and on Sunday afternoon we watched Apollo 13. 

Listen, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.  

Halfway through the movie Matt even turned to me and asked, "Why do you seem so jumpy and nervous?" and I blurted out "BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER IF THE ASTRONAUTS LIVE OR DIE!"  

 Believe it or not I have seen the movie several times.  I just forgot the small detail of the astronauts' fate. SPOILER ALERT - they live.  

What a relief.

So the weekend ended on a high note, and today was pretty good for a Monday.  

Now it's time to go plan my Election Day outfit.  

I plan to theme dress.  Obviously.

a wordy post about nothing in particular

I had a NOT SO GREAT day today.  Therefore, I left work and drove straight to Chick Fil A and ordered a large sweet tea because NOTHING MAKES ME FEEL BETTER QUITE LIKE A 32 OUNCE SUGARY BEVERAGE does.  Unfortunately when the lady handed my drink to me I sped away without taking the straw or my complimentary antibacterial wipe.  I heard her yell after me, "M'AM...WAIT!" but I was too far gone.  

I just went home straw-less, because even I am above making a second trip through the drive-through to order a drinking straw and one antibacterial wipe. 

 When I got home I walked in the apartment and Michelle was sitting at the kitchen table.  "Hey," she said, "How are you?" and I said "I am feeling FULL. OF. HATRED."

Evidently I was also feeling A WEE. BIT. DRAMATIC.

Things started looking up though and then Matt stopped by on his way home from work and we ate dinner together.  He just started a brand new job and he is over the moon about it.  Today he got a tour of the facility and there is a cafeteria, a fitness center, and a BARBER SHOP AND SALON on the first floor of his office building.

You know what's on the first floor of my office building?  A MORGUE. 

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS IS NOT FAIR.

  

 Speaking of work, I've been thrown off all week since I was off Monday and Tuesday due to Hurricane Sandy.  I had a few things due Friday of this week, and yesterday I stayed late to finish them.  And I did finish them.  Except yesterday was Wednesday.  So I was a full 48 hours ahead of the game.  

And tonight I told Matt that UGHHHH this week is taking forever, and why can't Friday just COME A LITTLE MORE QUICKLY? And he said, "Laura, it's already Thursday night."

All in all this has been a good week.  We made it safely through Hurricane Sandy.  I went home to stay with my parents during the storm because I didn't want to be by myself if the power went out.  Turns out my apartment didn't end up losing power at all, but the power went out at my parents' on Monday night at about 7:30.  

And at 8:00 my dad and sister were measuring the candle holder on the coffee table and the shadow it cast on the ceiling, calculating the ratio between the two, and determining whether or not the relationship was linear or exponential.

Listen.  I can't even tell you the last time I even THOUGHT the words "linear" or "exponential."  Which would explain why I was on the couch telling jokes like "What did the salad say before dinner?" "LETTUCE PRAY."  

The whole linear/exponential thing got us talking about what kind of math Emily is taking this year.  Pre-calculus.  I asked her to jog my memory about what pre-calc includes exactly, and my mom reminded me that, "Laura, you never took pre-calc."

That's right.  I pretty much topped out at geometry.  

Maybe my family shouldn't have allowed me to be the scorekeeper for our Uno card game earlier in the day.  

Who knows who actually won?

Happy (finally? already?) Friday!

during hurricane sandy

 

 

happy campers

Matt and I went camping this weekend.  We left Thursday morning and when Matt came to pick me up he asked, "Um--are you going to change your earrings before we go?" 

The last time we went camping, Matt thought my earrings were a little over the top.  Apparently he felt the same way about my thumbnail sized faux diamond studs.  I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY.



I decided that wasn't the right moment to tell him that, along with those classy, elegant jewels, I had my pale pink hairdryer and an entire arsenal full of beauty products in my bag.

As we were walking out of my apartment, I asked Matt if he could run through a list of typically forgotten items just so I could double check myself and make sure I wasn't leaving anything behind.

"Sure," he said, "Did you pack your toothbrush?"

 Guess what.  I hadn't packed my toothbrush.

I have an electric toothbrush that doesn't fit in one of those handy travel toothbrush containers, so I stuck a plastic baggie over the bristles, stuck it in the side pocket of my bag, and off we went.


I am very sad to report that my toothbrush fell out of my bag when I was putting it in the tent.  

Right.  Into.  The.  Dirt.


That plastic baggie was no match for the dirt that it fell on BRISTLE-FIRST.  I picked it up and dusted it off, QUITE LITERALLY, and when it came time to brush my teeth before bedtime I just told myself that a dirty toothbrush was better than no toothbrush at all, which was a tough pill to swallow but WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE?



And after I brushed my teeth with my questionable toothbrush, I embarked on my nightly skincare routine, which includes Clinique Take the Day Off makeup remover, Neutrogena Pink Grapefruit facial soap and cleansing cloths, some Pore Refining Cleanser, and moisturizer.  After I was finished with all that I sat next to Matt and we were chatting away.  A few minutes into our conversation he paused and said, "This is weird but I think I smell...oranges...?"

It was my face.

Awesome.

Thank you very much, pink grapefruit oil-free cleanser.    

The weather didn't really cooperate for our trip but, despite the clouds and the rain, we still had fun!  

 

just your typical educational weekend outing

Matt and I went to the Hopewell Furnace National Historic Site this weekend.  It was cloudy and rainy but we still learned a lot!

 This was a self-guided tour, and there was an older couple behind us for much of it.  When we got into this building, the older woman started making a huge fuss over that wooden cart on the right.  She went on and on about how beautiful it was and must have told her husband, Jim, that a cart like that would be so great to have around the house at least thirteen times.  Finally Jim looked at her and said, "Carole!  We already have a wheel barrow just like that in the backyard!"

just a few life lessons

You know what you should never do?  Stand at the copy machine at work and decide that you want to make 3 copies of something.  And then change your mind and decide you only need 2.  And then change it one more time and decide you need 3 after all. 

Because you may end up actually making 323 copies of something. 

Ask me how I learned that. 

Something else you should never do is clean your car windshield with Armor All car cleaner instead of the more traditional Windex.  Your windshield will appear crystal clear in the daylight, but when it gets dark outside you will learn just how streaky it is, and will have to pull over on the side of the road and wipe the windshield with the sleeve of your sweatshirt so that you can make it safely home.

Let's just say IT HASN'T BEEN MY BEST WEEK.

The good news though is that the week is essentially over, because Matt and I leave in the morning to go camping.  And unless things have really changed since the last time I was in a forest, there are no copy machines there that I can mess up.

The only possible problem we might face with our camping weekend is Hurricane Sandy, who is evidently alive and well and on the move.  I am currently watching the weather to get the latest update and listen, I love some good meteorological drama as much as the next girl.  But once the weather people start talking about the "cone of uncertainty," I start to feel a little bit like they're just manufacturing drama.  

I heard talk of the "cone of uncertainty" on the 6:00 news, and when I turned the weather on just now, the meteorologist was explaining some "spaghetti plots," that she had created, which consisted of about 47 squiggly lines all over the map informing viewers that the hurricane could hit anywhere between Illinois and the mid-Atlantic or IT MIGHT NOT HIT AT ALL, WE DON'T REALLY KNOW.  

If worse comes to worse and it starts to rain this weekend, we can just come home.  

It's a good thing Matt's driving.  

He always has a crystal clear windshield.