reason 3,468 I was an english major

I sounded pretty believable until I went and mentioned density.  

I knew that was a mistake.

 

the last four days have been keepers

Michelle texted me on Friday afternoon and asked if I'd be interested in going Christmas shopping with her after work.  Since I never met a shopping trip I didn't like, I jumped right on board with that plan and we headed out to the mall as soon as I got home.  

While we were in the car I talked to Matt, who was planning to wake up at FOUR O CLOCK IN THE A.M. on Saturday to go hunting.  At the end of the conversation he said, "Okay, well, I'll try to shoot you a bird."

Which is a line you always hear in the fairy tales.

Michelle and I did some damage in various stores and then decided to get some spaghetti and meatballs from an Italian place in the food court before we went home.  It was on the walk to the food court that we realized that while we were carrying a few bags, exactly zero of them held any Christmas gifts for others.  

Our hearts are definitely in the right place this holiday season.  

And then we sat in the food court eating spaghetti and talking about how we are our parents' favorite children.  

Safe to say we have mastered the gift of humility.

 

On Saturday I got together with some girls from work to bake Christmas cookies.  As evidenced by our cookies, we probably should have paid more attention to the oven and less attention to coming up with a detailed plan to decorate our cubicles like buildings in Who-Ville.

Matt came over after the Christmas cookie extravaganza, and we ate dinner and watched Burn Notice.  Burn Notice is Matt's favorite show, but I'm not a huge fan because I can never tell if the main characters are good guys or bad guys.  I'm pretty sure they're good guys, but occasionally the bombing/shooting/blowing up makes me doubt that conclusion.  Every single time we watch together I request clarification on the (VERY COMPLICATED) plot and whether or not Mike and Sam are protagonists or antagonists, and then offer an alternative programming option a la House Hunters or the Cosby Show.

Let the record show that Matt has never, not ever, chosen House Hunters or the Cosby Show over Burn Notice. 

My sincerest apologies to the Huxtables.

And then, today.  OH, TODAY.  WHAT A DAY.

Things started off on a high note when I heard Kate Middleton's baby news.  I'm finally going to be a godmother!

A few hours later I strolled up to the front desk to check my mail, and the receptionist handed me a package from a flower company.  It was from Matt, and inside was a green tree, with a box of ornaments and even a little strand of lights.  

It made my whole day today.

And I have a feeling it will make my whole tomorrow too.  :)

i'm a health conscious girl

Obviously the main reason I bought this 3.4 pound tub of animal cookies covered in fudge and sprinkles is because it's a good source of calcium.

a lengthy summary

Well, just like that Thanksgiving is over.  The day was great and the meal was delicious, as per usual.  Halfway through dinner my dad said, "You know, you think you're just going to get a few more things and before you know it, you have a whole plateful."

God Bless America.

The only retail establishment I visited on Friday was the grocery store, which was perfect because you know where people don't generally go the day after Thanksgiving? 

The food store.  

The food store I go to is in a shopping center with popular Black Friday destinations including, but not limited to Target, Barnes and Noble, Best Buy, and DSW.  Needless to say the parking lot was pretty crazy, so I employed a new strategy that includes driving around the back of the buildings, past the loading docks, and out the back driveway.  Jury's still out on whether or not this maneuver is "legal," but I didn't see any DO NOT ENTER signs so I'm just gonna run with it.

Matt came over on Friday evening.  We had dinner and then watched Christmas movies by the twinkly lights of the Christmas tree and the large outdoor wreath that Michelle and I decided to hang inside on our living room wall because we're decorating pioneers.

It was very fun and cozy.

On Saturday I slept late, and then Michelle and I spent several hours lounging on the couch discussing important topics like the Farmer's Almanac forecast for this winter and Guiliana and Bill's new baby and watching eyeshadow tutorials on youtube.  

Around 1:00 I stood up and made a grand announcement that it was time for me to get to the store.

Michelle asked what I was shopping for and I told her I had been developing a list over the past few days and then went into my bedroom to retrieve it.

Do you know what was on the list?

A peppermint scented candle and Gatorade.

THE ESSENTIALS, OBVIOUSLY.

I also stopped at the mall while I was out and picked out a very nice, very fragile ornament as a gift.  Since it was so busy in the Christmas department a cashier from the junior's department told me she could help me at her register.  I followed her over and paid for the ornament, and then she asked if I'd like it wrapped in tissue paper.  I said yes and then watched as she twisted and scrunched and folded the tissue paper.  

Finally one of her co-workers looked over and said, "Gina - have you ever done that before?"

"No," she said, "But I eat at Chipotle all the time and this is how they wrap the burritos."

Well of course.  Obviously you would wrap a highly breakable glass Christmas ornament with the same technique you would a flour tortilla filled with cheese and beans.

Saturday night and Sunday were filled with Matt and friends and more relaxing.

And so that was my Thanksgiving holiday.  

Shopping, Christmas movies, family, friend, and food.  

Just the way I like it.

because there's nothing cuter than pictures of kittens

My brother and his girlfriend are fostering three kittens.  They went away for the Thanksgiving holiday, so my parents got to kitten-sit!

It's just a shame they weren't more adorable.

be careful what you wish for

A few weeks ago I started to seriously think about getting a major haircut.  

I've been trying to grow it out, but the longer my hair is, the younger people think I am.  Everyone tells me that someday that will be a good thing, but it's not such a good thing when you're twenty four.  Just last week someone at work called me an intern.  Again.  Then I was carded when I went to happy hour AND when I bought spray paint at the craft store.  Finally, at my sister's high school play on Friday night, a fellow audience member asked me what grade I was in.

POINT. TAKEN.

So tonight after work, Michelle and I had a few hours of pampering.  First we went to Universal Nails for manicures and then walked next door to the Hair Cuttery.  

Clearly we are fancy ladies of sophistication and tight budgets.

I sat down in the chair and told the stylist what I wanted, and as she cut and talked I thought about how excited I was to finally look mature and grown up.

Our conversation drifted to the topic of high school, and she asked me what school I had gone to.  I told her, and she said one of her best friends went there, and asked if I remembered a classmate named Amanda Duffy. 

Duffy was a common last name at my Catholic high school, so I asked her what year her friend graduated.

 

1992.

NINETEEN.  NINETY.  TWO.

I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD IN 1992.

Apparently my new haircut makes me look like I could be THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD.

I CANNOT WIN.

oh tannenbaum

 Well, I had every intention of sitting down tonight and writing a post about my new favorite lip gloss and my weekend and iced animal crackers.  In other words, RIVETING SUBJECT MATTER.

But then this happened.

 Fa la la la la.

i'd love mondays if they were all like this one

Well, tonight marks the end of a pretty darn good three day weekend.

Matt came over after work on Friday.  We had dinner and then stayed out until the wee hours of the morning playing board games with friends.  I played Cranium for the first time and, just as I suspected, I am a genius.  One of my team's questions was to choose the definition of the word "fabulist." I used my English major skillz to pick up on the fact that "fabulist" shares the same root as the word "fable" and therefore, a fabulist must be a person who makes up stories.

And my answer was right, obviously.  Four years of college = worth it.

So here's my advice to any college English students out there - don't change majors! You might not be able to get a job when you graduate like those crazy engineering or finance majors, but you will thank yourself three years down the road when you win Cranium. 

Also, I'm pretty sure I've never laughed as hard as I did when I watched Matt draw "nest egg" while blindfolded.  

I slept late on Saturday because HELLO 3 A.M., DON'T SEE YOU VERY OFTEN AND YOU SURE ARE LATE and then hung out with Emily while Matt was house hunting.

Yes, I said house hunting.  He and some buddies are looking to rent a house, and they have pretty high standards.  By pretty high standards I mean their wish list includes A YARD WITH A POND.  

They were not English majors, so such a fancy perk could realistically be in their computer/finance/business budgets.  BUT DID THEY WIN CRANIUM ON FRIDAY NIGHT?  NO THEY DID NOT.

Matt came over after his house hunting escapade and we dialed down the wildness factor considerably because we spent the evening watching The Men Who Built America and eating nachos.

Our relationship was on shaky ground for a few seconds though when Matt looked at his nachos and said, "Hmm.  I don't even know what this green stuff is."

It was guacamole. 

My office was closed today for Veteran's Day, but all of my people were either working or in school, so I had the whole day to myself.  I slept in a little bit and then watched Good Morning America while I drank my daily mug of White Chocolate Mocha Coffee Mate and debated whether November 12th is too early to put up the Christmas tree.

After lunch I decided to spend the afternoon doing some of my favorite things.  I started off by cranking up the Whitney Houston station on Pandora and driving to the bank to cash in my change for dolla dolla bills.  Then I vacuumed the interior of my car, got a gingerbread coffee from Dunkin Donuts, and went to the mall.

I strolled and browsed for a while and on my way out I stopped in an engraving shop to drop something off.  I left my information and arranged to come back in two hours to pick up my order, and decided to go to Barnes and Noble in the meantime.

As I was walking into Barnes and Noble, my phone rang.  It was the girl from the engraving store.

"Hi Laura," she said, "I'm calling because we're having a little problem over here.  Our engraving machine isn't working."

Well, I'd probably classify that as a medium to large problem when your whole business is engraving, but SEMANTICS.

I was super nice and agreeable and told her just to call me when it was fixed and NO PROBLEM AT ALL I AM SO RELAXED TODAY BECAUSE I AM HAVING A DAY OFF.

Also because I got all of my customer service complaints out of my system last week when I fired my eye doctor in the form of a lengthy, not so nice letter.  

WHO AM I? 

As I drove home singing along with my girl Whitney, I thought to myself, "Wow.  It is so refreshing to have a day where you have nothing to worry about but yourself and you can do whatever you want."

And then I realized that is pretty much every day of my life so it wasn't really that out of the ordinary.  But it was still great.  So great that I came home, curled my entire head of hair just for fun, and ate Italian sausage and Colby Jack Cheez Its for dinner.

Actually, maybe it will be good to get back to real life tomorrow.

it's really just as essential as a post-it

 I organized the top drawer of my desk at work the other day.  Any not only did I find gardening gloves, several hundred paper clips, flower food, more post-its than I could use in a lifetime, and three highlighters I had forgotten about, but I also found several packs of Chick Fil A sauce.

I think it's safe to say I have a pretty good grasp on the definition of "necessity."

imagine there is a clever title right here

Well, I think it's an appropriate time to talk about the biggest news of the week.  

You might think I mean the presidential election.  No, I mean the fact that yesterday I received my quarterly 401k statement in the mail.  I KNOW.  BIG. NEWS.  I love reading my 401k statement and studying the graphs and seeing how much it has changed.  

Also, I am proud to report that if I decide to retire tomorrow, I have enough money to live an extremely modest lifestyle and survive for approximately the next 7 weeks.

I thought about displaying the statement on my fridge, partially because I'm proud of it and partially because I would love to see Matt's reaction the next time he comes over and sees a 401k statement proudly hanging on the refrigerator door.

Sometimes (okay, a lot) I do things just to see his reaction.  Take last week, for example.  He has diabetes and his blood sugar went a wee bit low, so I LOVINGLY and GENEROUSLY volunteered to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  He stood next to me in the kitchen while I made it, and when I was almost finished I drew some little designs in the peanut butter.  A smiley face and a few hearts.  Then I went on and on explaining how I do that to every sandwich I make as a little special treat for the recipient, because even though you can't see the shapes in the peanut butter, the sandwich tastes just a little bit better because you can tell it was MADE WITH LOTS OF LOVE.   Also because I love to hear myself talk.

Matt stood beside me and went along with it and then he scarfed down that sandwich

Speaking of food, I decided to make nachos while I was watching the election coverage the other night, but when I took the jar of salsa out of the fridge, I couldn't open it.  Matt suggested running the lid under hot water, but when that attempt was futile, I consulted The Google because desperate times call for wikipedia. 

And this was what I found.

Wow.

Since I wasn't willing to risk a fractured hand just for some mediocre homemade nachos, I decided to give the old fashioned method of twisting the lid another try.  And eventually, it worked.  I was elated.  Those nachos were delicious, but nothing tastes quite as sweet as victory.

Unless, of course, it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with hearts inside.

because it's snowing here, so i'd kind of like to go back

 

never doubt betty crocker. or, for that matter, tom hanks.

I just made myself a big mug of hot chocolate FROM SCRATCH.  And by "from scratch" I mean I didn't use Swiss Miss.  I had a canister of Godiva cocoa in my cabinet that I bought a few weeks ago when I decided that I was going to start baking all sorts of things from scratch.  That sentence should actually read "start baking things at all" because, let's be honest, I wasn't baking MUCH OF ANYTHING before that. 

I can't remember what came over me on that day but I found a recipe and gathered ingredients, and several hours and one delicious, yet VERY, VERY EXPENSIVE, chocolate cake later, I decided Betty Crocker was really onto something with her whole JUST ADD WATER boxed mixes. And so my Baking From Scratch Career began and ended on the very same day, which explains why I had a mostly full canister of eleven dollar Godiva cocoa in my cabinet tonight.  So I made hot chocolate because as the saying goes- those who can't bake, microwave.

I really wish I could come to you tonight with a summary of my very exciting weekend, but that's not possible because my weekend was pretty status quo.  Matt had to work on Saturday and I had to work on Sunday which puts a SERIOUS CRAMP IN MY WEEKEND STYLE.  We did go out at night though, and on Sunday afternoon we watched Apollo 13. 

Listen, I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.  

Halfway through the movie Matt even turned to me and asked, "Why do you seem so jumpy and nervous?" and I blurted out "BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER IF THE ASTRONAUTS LIVE OR DIE!"  

 Believe it or not I have seen the movie several times.  I just forgot the small detail of the astronauts' fate. SPOILER ALERT - they live.  

What a relief.

So the weekend ended on a high note, and today was pretty good for a Monday.  

Now it's time to go plan my Election Day outfit.  

I plan to theme dress.  Obviously.

a wordy post about nothing in particular

I had a NOT SO GREAT day today.  Therefore, I left work and drove straight to Chick Fil A and ordered a large sweet tea because NOTHING MAKES ME FEEL BETTER QUITE LIKE A 32 OUNCE SUGARY BEVERAGE does.  Unfortunately when the lady handed my drink to me I sped away without taking the straw or my complimentary antibacterial wipe.  I heard her yell after me, "M'AM...WAIT!" but I was too far gone.  

I just went home straw-less, because even I am above making a second trip through the drive-through to order a drinking straw and one antibacterial wipe. 

 When I got home I walked in the apartment and Michelle was sitting at the kitchen table.  "Hey," she said, "How are you?" and I said "I am feeling FULL. OF. HATRED."

Evidently I was also feeling A WEE. BIT. DRAMATIC.

Things started looking up though and then Matt stopped by on his way home from work and we ate dinner together.  He just started a brand new job and he is over the moon about it.  Today he got a tour of the facility and there is a cafeteria, a fitness center, and a BARBER SHOP AND SALON on the first floor of his office building.

You know what's on the first floor of my office building?  A MORGUE. 

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS IS NOT FAIR.

  

 Speaking of work, I've been thrown off all week since I was off Monday and Tuesday due to Hurricane Sandy.  I had a few things due Friday of this week, and yesterday I stayed late to finish them.  And I did finish them.  Except yesterday was Wednesday.  So I was a full 48 hours ahead of the game.  

And tonight I told Matt that UGHHHH this week is taking forever, and why can't Friday just COME A LITTLE MORE QUICKLY? And he said, "Laura, it's already Thursday night."

All in all this has been a good week.  We made it safely through Hurricane Sandy.  I went home to stay with my parents during the storm because I didn't want to be by myself if the power went out.  Turns out my apartment didn't end up losing power at all, but the power went out at my parents' on Monday night at about 7:30.  

And at 8:00 my dad and sister were measuring the candle holder on the coffee table and the shadow it cast on the ceiling, calculating the ratio between the two, and determining whether or not the relationship was linear or exponential.

Listen.  I can't even tell you the last time I even THOUGHT the words "linear" or "exponential."  Which would explain why I was on the couch telling jokes like "What did the salad say before dinner?" "LETTUCE PRAY."  

The whole linear/exponential thing got us talking about what kind of math Emily is taking this year.  Pre-calculus.  I asked her to jog my memory about what pre-calc includes exactly, and my mom reminded me that, "Laura, you never took pre-calc."

That's right.  I pretty much topped out at geometry.  

Maybe my family shouldn't have allowed me to be the scorekeeper for our Uno card game earlier in the day.  

Who knows who actually won?

Happy (finally? already?) Friday!