tomorrow will be a rough return to the office

Well, despite the snazzy elf  hat that I wore all day Friday...

...the paralegals and our Whoville display did not win the office decorating contest.

Aka WE WERE ROBBED.

The aisle next to us did a Nightmare Before Christmas theme, and when the judges came around they broke out a strobe light and theme music.  Their ace in the hole.

Hello, second place.  Nice to see you again this year.  NOT.   

We tried to be gracious losers, but OH, IT WAS NOT EASY.

And to add salt to the wound, we had a little holiday party at a restaurant down the street after work, and I was the only person there who didn't win a door prize.  That's right.  The only person. 

FRIDAY WAS NOT MY DAY.

 

 My parents were going away for the weekend so on Saturday morning I headed home to stay with my sidekick, Emily and make sure she didn't host any wild parties while my parents were away.

And also to drive her to the movies on Saturday night and feed the dog.

The first order of business was getting manicures.  I got red and Emily got blue.  Evidently we were feeling very patriotic.

 After our manicures we strolled the mall for a little bit, and then came home to have a healthy, balanced meal of pizza and mozzarella sticks.

We ate in the family room because WILD AND CRAZY, and Rosie sat at my feet the entire time and stared straight ahead in what I can only imagine was an effort to convince herself there wasn't a giant slice of pizza six inches from her face.

 

 After that we rented a box truck and took it for a little Saturday evening joy ride.

 

 

 Oh, I kid.  Matt was actually moving and around 5:30 he called me and said, "Hey, look out your window!"  And there he was driving by in this hot rod, having the time of his life.

We came inside and I started to straighten up the kitchen, and I asked Emily to go see if the Christmas tree needed to be watered.

I walked out a few minutes later to find this.

 I'm just as confused as you are, Rosie.

Emily went to the movies last night which left me and Rosie home alone to read and watch House Hunters and eating Cap'n Crunch.  

It was glorious.  

And then I went up to my old bedroom to go to sleep and snuggled underneath the pile of blankets that were folded at the bottom of the bed.

This morning I wandered downstairs and asked Emily where the brown fleece blanket came from, because it was so soft and cozy.

Turns out the blanket is actually a gift for her Advent Angel at school.

Whoops

 

just call me cindy lou who

I wasn't kidding when I said my cubicle is decorated like the toy shop in Who-Ville, all in preparation for the office-wide decorating contest tomorrow.  

I predict first place.

 

mint, jewelry, and tinsel oh my

Well, I didn't win the lottery last week.  So it was back to work today, which wasn't ideal but at least I got to spend the day in a warm office sitting inside a cubicle that's decorated like the Who-ville toy shop from The Grinch.  

That's right.

I have the office-wide decorating contest IN THE BAG.

Matt and I had plans to meet my cousin and her fiance for dinner on Friday night, and it was a horrible night, weather wise.  It was cold and rainy and windy and the kind of night that makes you want to SEEK COVER.

We arrived at the restaurant a little early, so we got a table and ordered drinks.  I chose a cucumber martini with lemon and mint, which, looking back, kind of screams I AM MORE OF A JULY/AUGUST BEVERAGE THAN A MID-DECEMBER ONE, but I just went for it.  

The waitress was gone for quite a while, and when she finally returned, she has a less than amused look on her face.  "Sorry it took so long," she said as she put the drink on the table.  "I had to go out back and cut the mint out of the herb garden.  Most people order this drink in the summertime."

Whoops.

So, by comparison, my day today didn't seem so bad. 

I could have been cutting mint sprigs in a rainstorm.

On Saturday I met my mom and sister at the mall, and we spent some serious time in Charming Charlie's.  I had never been to a Charming Charlie's before this one opened a few months ago, and I obviously love it because what's not to love about a giant store with millions of pieces of jewelry priced under $14.99 and arranged by color?

Nothing, that's what.

We walked around the store for about half an hour and my mom and I tried on rings and bracelets and watches.  Finally Emily looked at my mom and I and said, "Ehh, I don't really see anything I like in here."

I know.  

I've never felt more disconnected from her than I did at that moment.

And here's the part where I could say that Saturday night was full of glitz and glamour and more cucumber martinis.  That would be a lie though because what really happened is Matt came over, I finished up my Christmas shopping, we ate dinner, and then I convinced Matt that it would be a great idea to settle in and watch a good Christmas movie.

Or so I thought.

I went to my bedroom to put my sweatpants on, and when I returned Matt was watching Army of Darkness, which is an early nineties comedy/horror movie that CRACKED MATT UP.  He was HYSTERICAL.

In the first ten minutes there was time travel (yuck), multiple sword fights, three monsters that emerged from murky water, a wall of spikes that closed in on the main character while he was trying to escape a cavernous swamp, and a mysterious hand that was not attached to a body but that managed to pop up in every scene.

What a cozy Christmas memory it was.

Sunday was my family's annual Christmas trip to Cabela's, WORLD'S FOREMOST OUTFITTERS, and I went home a little early and we decorated the Christmas tree.

My mom decided to use tinsel instead of garland this year, and so we each grabbed a handful or twelve and got to work while my mom told us how "there is no such thing as too much tinsel."

A little while later my dad walked in the room and said, "Whoa.  That's a lot of tinsel."

We all stepped back to take a look.  

It was a lot of tinsel.

Needless to say we ceased our liberal tinsel application at that point, but I do love the way it turned out.  

No one will accuse this tree of having a lack of sparkle.

 

reason 3,468 I was an english major

I sounded pretty believable until I went and mentioned density.  

I knew that was a mistake.

 

the last four days have been keepers

Michelle texted me on Friday afternoon and asked if I'd be interested in going Christmas shopping with her after work.  Since I never met a shopping trip I didn't like, I jumped right on board with that plan and we headed out to the mall as soon as I got home.  

While we were in the car I talked to Matt, who was planning to wake up at FOUR O CLOCK IN THE A.M. on Saturday to go hunting.  At the end of the conversation he said, "Okay, well, I'll try to shoot you a bird."

Which is a line you always hear in the fairy tales.

Michelle and I did some damage in various stores and then decided to get some spaghetti and meatballs from an Italian place in the food court before we went home.  It was on the walk to the food court that we realized that while we were carrying a few bags, exactly zero of them held any Christmas gifts for others.  

Our hearts are definitely in the right place this holiday season.  

And then we sat in the food court eating spaghetti and talking about how we are our parents' favorite children.  

Safe to say we have mastered the gift of humility.

 

On Saturday I got together with some girls from work to bake Christmas cookies.  As evidenced by our cookies, we probably should have paid more attention to the oven and less attention to coming up with a detailed plan to decorate our cubicles like buildings in Who-Ville.

Matt came over after the Christmas cookie extravaganza, and we ate dinner and watched Burn Notice.  Burn Notice is Matt's favorite show, but I'm not a huge fan because I can never tell if the main characters are good guys or bad guys.  I'm pretty sure they're good guys, but occasionally the bombing/shooting/blowing up makes me doubt that conclusion.  Every single time we watch together I request clarification on the (VERY COMPLICATED) plot and whether or not Mike and Sam are protagonists or antagonists, and then offer an alternative programming option a la House Hunters or the Cosby Show.

Let the record show that Matt has never, not ever, chosen House Hunters or the Cosby Show over Burn Notice. 

My sincerest apologies to the Huxtables.

And then, today.  OH, TODAY.  WHAT A DAY.

Things started off on a high note when I heard Kate Middleton's baby news.  I'm finally going to be a godmother!

A few hours later I strolled up to the front desk to check my mail, and the receptionist handed me a package from a flower company.  It was from Matt, and inside was a green tree, with a box of ornaments and even a little strand of lights.  

It made my whole day today.

And I have a feeling it will make my whole tomorrow too.  :)

i'm a health conscious girl

Obviously the main reason I bought this 3.4 pound tub of animal cookies covered in fudge and sprinkles is because it's a good source of calcium.

a lengthy summary

Well, just like that Thanksgiving is over.  The day was great and the meal was delicious, as per usual.  Halfway through dinner my dad said, "You know, you think you're just going to get a few more things and before you know it, you have a whole plateful."

God Bless America.

The only retail establishment I visited on Friday was the grocery store, which was perfect because you know where people don't generally go the day after Thanksgiving? 

The food store.  

The food store I go to is in a shopping center with popular Black Friday destinations including, but not limited to Target, Barnes and Noble, Best Buy, and DSW.  Needless to say the parking lot was pretty crazy, so I employed a new strategy that includes driving around the back of the buildings, past the loading docks, and out the back driveway.  Jury's still out on whether or not this maneuver is "legal," but I didn't see any DO NOT ENTER signs so I'm just gonna run with it.

Matt came over on Friday evening.  We had dinner and then watched Christmas movies by the twinkly lights of the Christmas tree and the large outdoor wreath that Michelle and I decided to hang inside on our living room wall because we're decorating pioneers.

It was very fun and cozy.

On Saturday I slept late, and then Michelle and I spent several hours lounging on the couch discussing important topics like the Farmer's Almanac forecast for this winter and Guiliana and Bill's new baby and watching eyeshadow tutorials on youtube.  

Around 1:00 I stood up and made a grand announcement that it was time for me to get to the store.

Michelle asked what I was shopping for and I told her I had been developing a list over the past few days and then went into my bedroom to retrieve it.

Do you know what was on the list?

A peppermint scented candle and Gatorade.

THE ESSENTIALS, OBVIOUSLY.

I also stopped at the mall while I was out and picked out a very nice, very fragile ornament as a gift.  Since it was so busy in the Christmas department a cashier from the junior's department told me she could help me at her register.  I followed her over and paid for the ornament, and then she asked if I'd like it wrapped in tissue paper.  I said yes and then watched as she twisted and scrunched and folded the tissue paper.  

Finally one of her co-workers looked over and said, "Gina - have you ever done that before?"

"No," she said, "But I eat at Chipotle all the time and this is how they wrap the burritos."

Well of course.  Obviously you would wrap a highly breakable glass Christmas ornament with the same technique you would a flour tortilla filled with cheese and beans.

Saturday night and Sunday were filled with Matt and friends and more relaxing.

And so that was my Thanksgiving holiday.  

Shopping, Christmas movies, family, friend, and food.  

Just the way I like it.

because there's nothing cuter than pictures of kittens

My brother and his girlfriend are fostering three kittens.  They went away for the Thanksgiving holiday, so my parents got to kitten-sit!

It's just a shame they weren't more adorable.

be careful what you wish for

A few weeks ago I started to seriously think about getting a major haircut.  

I've been trying to grow it out, but the longer my hair is, the younger people think I am.  Everyone tells me that someday that will be a good thing, but it's not such a good thing when you're twenty four.  Just last week someone at work called me an intern.  Again.  Then I was carded when I went to happy hour AND when I bought spray paint at the craft store.  Finally, at my sister's high school play on Friday night, a fellow audience member asked me what grade I was in.

POINT. TAKEN.

So tonight after work, Michelle and I had a few hours of pampering.  First we went to Universal Nails for manicures and then walked next door to the Hair Cuttery.  

Clearly we are fancy ladies of sophistication and tight budgets.

I sat down in the chair and told the stylist what I wanted, and as she cut and talked I thought about how excited I was to finally look mature and grown up.

Our conversation drifted to the topic of high school, and she asked me what school I had gone to.  I told her, and she said one of her best friends went there, and asked if I remembered a classmate named Amanda Duffy. 

Duffy was a common last name at my Catholic high school, so I asked her what year her friend graduated.

 

1992.

NINETEEN.  NINETY.  TWO.

I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD IN 1992.

Apparently my new haircut makes me look like I could be THIRTY EIGHT YEARS OLD.

I CANNOT WIN.

oh tannenbaum

 Well, I had every intention of sitting down tonight and writing a post about my new favorite lip gloss and my weekend and iced animal crackers.  In other words, RIVETING SUBJECT MATTER.

But then this happened.

 Fa la la la la.

i'd love mondays if they were all like this one

Well, tonight marks the end of a pretty darn good three day weekend.

Matt came over after work on Friday.  We had dinner and then stayed out until the wee hours of the morning playing board games with friends.  I played Cranium for the first time and, just as I suspected, I am a genius.  One of my team's questions was to choose the definition of the word "fabulist." I used my English major skillz to pick up on the fact that "fabulist" shares the same root as the word "fable" and therefore, a fabulist must be a person who makes up stories.

And my answer was right, obviously.  Four years of college = worth it.

So here's my advice to any college English students out there - don't change majors! You might not be able to get a job when you graduate like those crazy engineering or finance majors, but you will thank yourself three years down the road when you win Cranium. 

Also, I'm pretty sure I've never laughed as hard as I did when I watched Matt draw "nest egg" while blindfolded.  

I slept late on Saturday because HELLO 3 A.M., DON'T SEE YOU VERY OFTEN AND YOU SURE ARE LATE and then hung out with Emily while Matt was house hunting.

Yes, I said house hunting.  He and some buddies are looking to rent a house, and they have pretty high standards.  By pretty high standards I mean their wish list includes A YARD WITH A POND.  

They were not English majors, so such a fancy perk could realistically be in their computer/finance/business budgets.  BUT DID THEY WIN CRANIUM ON FRIDAY NIGHT?  NO THEY DID NOT.

Matt came over after his house hunting escapade and we dialed down the wildness factor considerably because we spent the evening watching The Men Who Built America and eating nachos.

Our relationship was on shaky ground for a few seconds though when Matt looked at his nachos and said, "Hmm.  I don't even know what this green stuff is."

It was guacamole. 

My office was closed today for Veteran's Day, but all of my people were either working or in school, so I had the whole day to myself.  I slept in a little bit and then watched Good Morning America while I drank my daily mug of White Chocolate Mocha Coffee Mate and debated whether November 12th is too early to put up the Christmas tree.

After lunch I decided to spend the afternoon doing some of my favorite things.  I started off by cranking up the Whitney Houston station on Pandora and driving to the bank to cash in my change for dolla dolla bills.  Then I vacuumed the interior of my car, got a gingerbread coffee from Dunkin Donuts, and went to the mall.

I strolled and browsed for a while and on my way out I stopped in an engraving shop to drop something off.  I left my information and arranged to come back in two hours to pick up my order, and decided to go to Barnes and Noble in the meantime.

As I was walking into Barnes and Noble, my phone rang.  It was the girl from the engraving store.

"Hi Laura," she said, "I'm calling because we're having a little problem over here.  Our engraving machine isn't working."

Well, I'd probably classify that as a medium to large problem when your whole business is engraving, but SEMANTICS.

I was super nice and agreeable and told her just to call me when it was fixed and NO PROBLEM AT ALL I AM SO RELAXED TODAY BECAUSE I AM HAVING A DAY OFF.

Also because I got all of my customer service complaints out of my system last week when I fired my eye doctor in the form of a lengthy, not so nice letter.  

WHO AM I? 

As I drove home singing along with my girl Whitney, I thought to myself, "Wow.  It is so refreshing to have a day where you have nothing to worry about but yourself and you can do whatever you want."

And then I realized that is pretty much every day of my life so it wasn't really that out of the ordinary.  But it was still great.  So great that I came home, curled my entire head of hair just for fun, and ate Italian sausage and Colby Jack Cheez Its for dinner.

Actually, maybe it will be good to get back to real life tomorrow.

it's really just as essential as a post-it

 I organized the top drawer of my desk at work the other day.  Any not only did I find gardening gloves, several hundred paper clips, flower food, more post-its than I could use in a lifetime, and three highlighters I had forgotten about, but I also found several packs of Chick Fil A sauce.

I think it's safe to say I have a pretty good grasp on the definition of "necessity."

imagine there is a clever title right here

Well, I think it's an appropriate time to talk about the biggest news of the week.  

You might think I mean the presidential election.  No, I mean the fact that yesterday I received my quarterly 401k statement in the mail.  I KNOW.  BIG. NEWS.  I love reading my 401k statement and studying the graphs and seeing how much it has changed.  

Also, I am proud to report that if I decide to retire tomorrow, I have enough money to live an extremely modest lifestyle and survive for approximately the next 7 weeks.

I thought about displaying the statement on my fridge, partially because I'm proud of it and partially because I would love to see Matt's reaction the next time he comes over and sees a 401k statement proudly hanging on the refrigerator door.

Sometimes (okay, a lot) I do things just to see his reaction.  Take last week, for example.  He has diabetes and his blood sugar went a wee bit low, so I LOVINGLY and GENEROUSLY volunteered to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  He stood next to me in the kitchen while I made it, and when I was almost finished I drew some little designs in the peanut butter.  A smiley face and a few hearts.  Then I went on and on explaining how I do that to every sandwich I make as a little special treat for the recipient, because even though you can't see the shapes in the peanut butter, the sandwich tastes just a little bit better because you can tell it was MADE WITH LOTS OF LOVE.   Also because I love to hear myself talk.

Matt stood beside me and went along with it and then he scarfed down that sandwich

Speaking of food, I decided to make nachos while I was watching the election coverage the other night, but when I took the jar of salsa out of the fridge, I couldn't open it.  Matt suggested running the lid under hot water, but when that attempt was futile, I consulted The Google because desperate times call for wikipedia. 

And this was what I found.

Wow.

Since I wasn't willing to risk a fractured hand just for some mediocre homemade nachos, I decided to give the old fashioned method of twisting the lid another try.  And eventually, it worked.  I was elated.  Those nachos were delicious, but nothing tastes quite as sweet as victory.

Unless, of course, it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with hearts inside.