Tuesday night I came down a terrible cold, because (here I go with the weather talk again) it still feels like winter here and I think my immune system has given up.
I had a long meeting today and had to leave at the crack of dawn 7:15, so I woke up early to put a roast in the crock pot. I was feeling so on top of things as I put salt back in the cabinet, and in the process knocked a giant bottle of sesame oil off of a high shelf, onto the counter, and then onto the floor, where it shattered and sesame oil went all over our beautiful new cabinets, new hardwood floor, my pajamas and my slippers.
I have no idea why we had that large bottle of sesame oil in the cabinet. I don't know when I would have used it, but I do know that a little sesame oil goes a long way, and that large quantities do not smell so great.
I cleaned up the cabinets and the floor and myself, rushed to my meeting and settled in for the morning session, which was about empathy. Let me preface this by saying that I am a paralegal. I like laws and rules and policies and things that are black and white. In work and life in general, feelings, emotions, and gray area are not really my wheelhouse.
But, I work mostly with social workers and that's who the training was geared towards, so I buckled up for the empathy ride and spent the first ten minutes wondering what the difference was between the words "empathic" and "empathetic."
As I poured a second cup of hotel coffee, which I admittedly LOVE, the instructor told us that we were going to do an activity. In order to feel empathy for others, we have to know our own feelings. She told us to close our eyes, and for five excruciatingly long minutes, we had to speak positive things to ourselves in our heads.
I am admittedly my own biggest fan and even I struggled with that.
And then, as a grand finale, we had to give ourselves a big old bear hug.
After the hug and a welcomed lunch break, there was a box of crayons and a sheet of paper with a house on it at our seats. The instructor told us to color the house and add five favorite things that represent what home means to us.
So I drew, albeit not very well and in no particular order: a book, my bed, Matt, a fireplace, and our couch.
Yes, that's a couch there on the bottom left. I tried to add some dimension and failed miserably. I'm not an artist.
Anyway, the time came for us to share what we had drawn, and we started going around the room. The first few people said things like "This quilt represents home being a place of comfort and refuge; this welcome mat represents warmly opening door to those who come to it; I drew a champagne glass because home is a place of joy and celebration; this rocking chair sits in our living room and has been passed through generations and ties our family together."
Um, mayday.
MAY.
ACTUAL.
DAY.
My peers had all put such thought into their five objects, and captured feelings and meaning and family legacy.
I drew my couch.
I silently willed the trainer not to call on me while simultaneously trying to think of a deep meaning for my fireplace. Luckily there were plenty of social workers willing to share their items, so I did not have to report out
But my colleague Heather was next to me and she looked over at my paper and whispered incredulously, "Is that...your...bed?"
I was talking to friends earlier this week about "reaching emotional capacity" and how ridiculous it was for a grown up to hypothetically leave his or her job because he or she had hypothetically reached emotional capacity.
Listen. By 4:00 today I HAD REACHED EMOTIONAL CAPACITY.
Add in a head cold and a girl who has ignored her gas light for the better part of three days and you have me, driving an hour home with my little gas door wide open, just wishing for my bed and my book and my sesame oil slippers.
Training days are a nice way to get out of the office, but I can't wait to sit at my desk tomorrow and write a petition. With facts. Based on law.
Maybe I'll report back on my feelings about it.
But probably not.
15 comments:
I am so sorry. You have just lived one of my nightmares. No feelings to see here! Back away from my feelings.
Also, my bed is absolutely one of my favorite things. Probably because absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Hahahaha! But seriously, what's wrong with Heather? A bed is home! My goodness. Can't trust anyone who didn't draw a bed!
You already know how I feel about all this. I’m still laughing about it.
It reminds me so much of a conference I had to go to when I was working with social workers. I worked at a nonprofit who helped the homeless, and I kid you not there was an ACTUAL gospel choir singing/chanting “housing is the answer to homelessness” for a full thirty minutes. Everyone seemed so into it and I still laugh when I think about it. It’s like singing “food is the answer to hunger” AS IF NO ONE KNEW.
My point being: it’s a good thing we aren’t social workers 😂
Yesterday I dropped a sriracha bottle, which splattered ALL over the kitchen (and dog). Luckily Bryan helped me clean it up but there was red sauce EVERYWHERE. I hope you feel better!!
I LOVE what you drew. I think mine would have been similar. And then I would have had a freak out about speaking about it because those things never go over well with me, haha. Hope today is better!
I don't even want to know what I would have knocked over in my kitchen that early in the morning. What a session. Your drawing looks very similiar to what my artistic capabilities would have been.
LMBO your posts are great. I chuckle every time.
I LIVE in the gray area- I'm miss Type B personality, go with the flow, empathetic and feelings to a fault. Yes- it's exhausting being me. I thought your couch was adorable ;) .
I love my bed too!
I would have drawn my bed and a book too. Not the couch though... our couch isn't that comfortable to sit on and I want a new one.
Sorry about the oil. Getting up early is bad enough without having to clean oil off the entire kitchen!
Oh girl. That's rough. I had a similar (albiet less serious) day last Friday. Some days you really do hit emotional capacity. Sesame oil does smell awful, that sucks that it got everywhere. I'm trying to think what I'd draw. I think KC, our cats (as one item), a book, a cozy blanket?, and a lamp? This is harder than I had thought... I hope that you have a great and restful weekend, and that next week is better/more normal! :) XO - Alexandra
Simply Alexandra: My Favorite Things
I think your drawing is great and I would have done something similar. Sorry to hear about the oil. I have had morning like that but I am not sure I would have still gone to work. I give you credit fro doing that. I probably would have cleaned up and then went back to bed, for a do over.
Haha, I love your house drawing. I totally would have done the same. It would have been Jesse, my dogs, my bed, my couch and books 😂
The sesame oil thing has to ruin a whole day. I exploded a green smoothie back in October and I still find bits of green here and there.
“MAY ACTUAL DAY” this is hilarious! Feel you though - I work with a lot of social workers too and it’s very touchy feely emotionally processing blah blah blah. Not into it 😂🙈
Interesting... I just went to a women’s leadership session last week and so many of the speakers mentioned empathy. I was kind of annoyed by it, evidently it’s a trend then... for what it’s worth, I’d put my bed too :)
Post a Comment