Wednesday, February 23, 2011

her pearls could make up a very lovely necklace

My mom really appreciated my inclusion of her belief that “nothing good happens after 11pm on a Tuesday” in my post last week.  She has even strongly suggested that I start a regular feature here on Oh Laura Darling where I could showcase some of her other “pearls of wisdom” like my personal favorite “you gotta look out for number one.”  There are many more, and they all come from a valuable place of grown up experience.    

Although, speaking of being grown up, several things have happened in the last few weeks that make me feel like I am well on my way to adulthood.  Never mind the fact that I still live with my parents and someone else packs my lunch every day. 

Exhibit 1

I had to take Old Blue into the shop a few weeks ago.  Contrary to what one might think given the first word in her name, Old Blue isn’t really old at all-she’s a one and a half year old spring chicken.

Earlier in the month, in a twist of NEVER BEFORE SEEN circumstances, I was driving Old Blue, and Phil, my mom, and Emily were my passengers.  On the way home, two warning lights on the dashboard flashed on, and Old Blue’s get up and go simply got up and went.  Phil was in the front passenger seat, and he flew into action, whipping out the manual and insisting that WE NEED TO GET TO A FORD DEALERSHIP IMMEDIATELY.

I can’t fault Phil for his strong insistence about getting Old Blue to a dealer STAT because he was only trying to prevent me from starting down the expensive car repair road that he has been traveling the past eighteen months or so.  Poor Phil has been burned by the car repair bill many a time, just ask him or his new starter or bumper or the motor for his driver’s side window or the battery or any one of his tires. 

However, since it was 9:30 on a Monday night and we were miles away from the nearest Ford dealership, I did the next best thing in the world of car repair, which is to say that I rolled into a convenience store parking lot, turned the car off, and then turned it back on again.  It worked like a charm, the warning lights went out, and I began to contemplate stopping by Pep Boys for an application because clearly I am a mechanical genius.

That period of misguided career contemplation was brief and ended abruptly the next night when I was driving to school and noticed HOLY HIGH RPM, BATMAN.  I went straight home for some investigatory googling, and guess where Old Blue was at 8:30 the next morning.  If you guessed the Ford dealership, you were right. 

But, lucky for me not only is Old Blue a spring chicken, she’s a spring chicken with a three year, thirty thousand mile warranty.  BONUS.  And now she’s sporting a brand spankin’ new transmission range sensor.

I must mention that this entire saga included no less than eight phone calls and conversations with my dad about the fate of OB, and then him taking her on a test drive on the turn pike to ensure that the RPMs were acceptable and the transmission range sensor was indeed sensing and that his lovely daughter/favorite child had some PEACE OF MIND.

Exhibit 2

As you probably know, Monday was President’s Day.  If someone had asked me during the last 21 years of my life when President’s Day was, I would not have been able to provide a confident and/or accurate answer.  But this year?  I started counting down the days in January, because it meant work was CLOSED!  So, on Sunday night, I went out with Phil and my cousin. 

Out!  On a Sunday night!  There I go, living on that edge again! 

We were chatting and laughing and talking about elementary school and having a great time and then we started yawning.  And yawning some more.  All three of us.  We were straight up EXHAUSTED and so ready to go to sleep and convinced that it MUST be way past our bedtimes.

I looked at my watch.

It was 9:45.   

Exhibit 3

I will be going on a business trip next week.  If you giggled when you read that last sentence, don’t feel bad.  Rest assured that no one is more shocked and amused at this unexpected turn of events than I am.

Exhibit 4

We had a little bit of a WINTER WEATHER EVENT on Tuesday night, and because Old Blue was parked in the street, she was covered in about four inches of fluffy snow on Wednesday morning.  I know…she’s had a rough go if it this February.  Anyway, I had to face the reality that I was going to have to brush her off before work because when you’re a grown up in the real world, there is no such thing as a two hour delay.  Okay, actually there is, but not this particular day.  So I put on my work clothes, zipped up my high heel leather dress boots, grabbed the sandwich my parents made for me, and headed for the street to brush off Old Blue. 

I had just finished the roof and was working on the front windshield when I heard my mom yell, from the second floor all the way across the front yard and down to the street, “Hey, Laura…great choice of footwear!!!”

And I pretended that I didn’t hear her because as I mentioned I am a TOTALLY MATURE GROWN UP. 

A totally mature grown up who is thinking that “Wear waterproof winter boots when walking in/brushing/shoveling snow” will make her mother’s collection of pearls of wisdom.

And with very wet, cold, good reason.


AubreyMo said...

Your mom is pretty much genius. I just love the term "spring chicken." Last time a sensor went on in my car I ignored it - and it turned out to be the car's way of telling me that I had a flat tire! Oh boy.

I fell asleep the other night at 8:00.

And your mom would think I'm dumb - I scrape my car and sidewalks off while wearing flats or flip flops. I firmly believe if I dress like it's Spring than Spring will come sooner!

mskanorado said...

Oh my! This post is something else! ;) I really enjoyed this one - and I'll admit I laughed more than once!! Hope you are having a lovely Wednesday!

Tatiana said...

Your mom is too funny! And nowadays I feel like my bed time should be 8pm. Taking care of an infant can be SO exhausted.

Things to Do said...

Do you ever drive your car and shout 'You're my boy blue?'

Yay for warranties!

GreenGirl said...

I have to say I laughed pretty hard at your post!
First of all, where the heck did that snow come from?
Sterling and I were in Avalon on Thursday on the beach and then the snow?? The city got slammed.
The car situation-trust me, I still call my dad for things like that...perhaps not the car (although he does offer windshield wiper fluid every time I go over and has a reserve of shovels) but finances for SURE.
About being tired...welcome to my world! Although NYE I was out until 4am...
Have fun on your business trip! Take a tip from a girl who traveled A LOT...comfy shoes...throw your heels in your carry me. Yeah, I was in a suit with my Uggs but I was a comfortable girl.

Jessica said...

gah your posts are always so funny! haha

How exciting that you get to go on a business trip- I hope its somewhere awesome!!

Mars said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! Hope your car is ok now :/ I used to wear flip flops and no coat to school when it was snowing out. At least your shoes were boots and not cute little peep toe heels or strappy sandals :)

Thisisme. said...

Excellent post Laura! Your mum sounds like a real hoot! I love it that someone else does your packed lunch for you. Aaaaw! That's cute, and just what I would have done for my daughters when they were younger. Glad you got the car fixed though, and enjoy your business trip (My! You ARE a real grown up!!).

- - Little Miss Martha - - said...

Usually...when I have a light go off, I go to my dad and have him turn the sensor off! Or if you go to like AutoZone too they'll do the same thing! Cars Stink, but we have to have them!

andrea said...

How are moms so smart? Seriously? I don't even think I'll be as smart as my mom when I have my own children one day.

Also if she ever somehow finds out that I posted this, I'll say someone hacked my account. I WILL NEVER ADMIT TO THIS.

Anyway...yea, when did we become such "grown-ups"? I mean, I filed my taxes last week. FILED MY TAXES. What the hell.

Jeanine said...

This post was highly entertaining and chock full of good ole fashioned goodness and err entertainment. Anyhoo I love your writing style!!

Jas said...

A business trip? Holy crap, you do realize this means that if there was any doubt in the universe of the status of your adulthood, it has vanished and you are now officially older and wiser? A business trip basically certifies you to be knowledgable about every life topic. For realzies. I can't wait for my first BT.

That's awesome. Have fun and kick some butt!

Michaela said...

Such a great post! I love your mom!

Have a wonderful weekend (:

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Well that's great that your car was still under a warranty!

Katie said...

Yay for being grown up!

Thanks for the comment, your blog is so cute! I'm totally going to keep reading!

Kerr said...

this is hilarious. I am 28 years old and when something is wrong with my car I immediatley melt down and call my dad, who lives 500 miles away, and demand help. talk about a grown up....

Heidi said...

New to your blog but loving it! You are cracking me up!