Saturday, February 15, 2014

eye yi yi

Well, I woke up this morning and made the unfortunate discovery that my left eye was red and bloodshot and sore.  Over the past week I’ve been getting a lot of mileage out of the joke that “these Olympics have ‘costas’ an eye,” but now I’m regretting every single time I said that.  

I’m getting married three weeks from today, and I can’t afford to have some sort of strange medical malady on March 8th.  It was bad enough that I went to the dentist for a cleaning last week and my jaw popped out of place after my fluoride treatment.  I immediately called the hygienist to inform her that SOMETHING WAS AMISS and she came over, inspected, and calmly said, “Ahh, yes, I see.  The mandible has simply disengaged.”

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you could re-engage it please because SPEAKING OF ENGAGED, I’M GETTING MARRIED IN A MONTH AND MY MANDIBLE NEEDS TO BE IN TIP TOP CONDITION.”

Actually, my dentist appointment was doomed from the start. I got a phone call, text message, and email confirming the day and time, and I wrote it on my calendar for Tuesday night at 5:45.  I upped my brushing and flossing game in the days leading up the appointment and by Tuesday afternoon I was ready for the big moment. 

I fought rain and rush hour traffic and walked into the extremely crowded dentist office, battle worn and weary, at 5:43.

The receptionist greeted me but then said, “Laura, do we have you on the list for tonight?”

“Sure do,” I said, “5:45.”

She flipped through the appointment book and then sympathetically said, “It’s actually…at 5:45……..tomorrow.”

Well.  Now that’s embarrassing.

I was so ready to show off my freshly flossed teeth that I showed up to the appointment TWENTY FOUR HOURS EARLY.  I suppose it’s better than twenty four hours late, but still not ideal.

Let’s hope that this eye condition doesn’t result in a trip to the doctor’s office because if it does, I will need to write that appointment day in stone.  Until then I’ll just be standing here in solidarity (and in a very dark room) with Mr. Costas. 

Eye’d appreciate good thoughts for the both of us.



Haley said...

Bahahaha!! Poor Costa!! I can't believe the mess that were his eyes.. so nasty! I'm sorry to hear of your red eye but I liked your dentist story! Especially the part where you flossed and brushed extra hard and good before your appointment. I swear EVERYONE does that !! I remember as a kid I would brush my teeth like five times before going to the dentist thinking it was making up for those few times i didn't brush before bed.. Haha, if only that were the case!
Hey- your wedding day is on my baby daughter's 1st birthday. Very exciting and congrats!

ae said...

Sending lots of good thoughts your way!

Miss Riss said...

Ahh 3 weeks?!! It's getting so close! I hope your eye/mandible/anything else going wrong, goes right...stat!! Also, I love your vocabulary in this post, lol...mandible, amiss, all good words. hahaha

Blogger Ash said...

Oh, no! Try not to stress and get lots of rest! Your big day will be great!

~Ashley @ A Cute Angle

Nicole@mamashiptips said...

I hope you feel better. Don't worry it will be gone in time... I just know it :O)

Sarah said...

I'm DYING. "These Olympics have costas an eye." When are you going to start publishing a humor column in the Sunday paper??

I hope your eye heals quickly but if not, we can make you a really klassy bejeweled eye patch for the wedding. ;)

Baby Sister said...

Lol. Neyes puns. I didn't even plan that one. :) I didn't realize your wedding was so soon!! How exciting. I hope your planning is going well. I would have definitely freaked if my jaw popped out of place, especially so close to the wedding. And now with the eye?? I hope it's doing better by now.