Saturday, May 18, 2013

it's been a while

Well, after several requests to write a new post, here I am.

Let me clarify my use of several in that sentence.

My mom asked.

Michelle also mentioned the other night that it was time for me to write a new post, and when I told her I couldn’t think of any funny material she suggested I look through our text conversations for inspiration because WE ARE HILARIOUS.

I did find a bunch of conversations that made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes, specifically one about Michelle igniting a small kitchen fire in an ambitious attempt to make homemade candied pecans.  

However, what struck me was that I tend to send to Michelle one type of text quite frequently.  Here is a sampling.



Apparently I need to be more diligent in checking that my hot appliances are indeed turned off before I leave the apartment for the day.

You could say that things have been status quo around here.  I did email myself two pictures earlier this week with grand intentions to write humorous blog posts about them, but unfortunately, I cannot remember the witty posts that I had drafted in my head.  Fear not, I will still include the photos for your viewing pleasure.

 The joy I get out of parking next to a car just like mine is immeasurable.  Don’t worry, mine isn’t the klassy one with the duct taped bumper.

Michelle and I did some spring cleaning the other night.  We emptied our fridge of all expired products and were left with only the pictured contents.   

At least we won’t be thirsty! 

 And that box of baking soda is doing a bang up job keeping our Gatorade and mayonnaise SUPER FRESH.

So it looks like grocery shopping will be on the itinerary for this weekend.

 Matt came over last night and we logged another exciting Friday night in the record books.  We got sandwiches for dinner and went all wild and crazy and ate in front of the TV while we watched an episode of How It’s Made.  Unfortunately the featured item of the episode was bacon, and once I saw those raw pig bellies get sliced in half I completely lost my appetite.  Notably, Matt was eating bacon on his sandwich as we watched and IT DID NOT PHASE HIM ONE BIT.  

As Matt was leaving I went to give him a hug goodbye and could tell he was about to sneeze.  When I was growing up, my dad could sneeze so loud it would ring the doorbell.  Matt gives him some stiff competition in sneeze volume department.  

So, when I sensed the sneeze was imminent, I made a big deal of VERY WILDLY AND DRAMATICALLY backing away and taking cover.  Unfortunately my dramatic scene was unfolding just as Matt was bringing his hand up to cover his face and there was a bit of a mid-air collision, resulting in me hitting myself, hard, on the lip. 

After we established that my lip and I were going to be just fine, Matt hugged me and said, “Laur, the next time you’re hugging me and I'm about to sneeze, maybe the best strategy would be to just back away very slowly and very calmly, and I'll do the same.”

Write that on a Hallmark card and stick it on your mantle.

Happy weekend.  Time for me to make a grocery list.


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Erin @ Sassin Southern Style said...

1. I, too, often park next to someone with the same exact car. I also might have kicked the other person's car when "my" car wouldn't unlock.
2. You have inspired my own post of ridiculous material (which is rare these days) highlighting some ridiculous text messages with my bestie.

Katie said...

I missed your posts!

I am always paranoid that I am going to leave something turned on and then the house will catch on fire. It is the ocd part of me.

Hope you have a great rest of the weekend & go stock up that fridge!

A Nerd and A Free Spirit said...

Ha. i love how low your battery is on all of your different text convos. (-: Great post! (-:


Alyssa said...

I would TOTALLY buy that hallmark card. =)

Allison said...

I don't even want to think about what would be left in my fridge. It definitely needs a good cleaning. Good thing wine lasts right? :)

Faith said...

Haha, glad your car isn't the one with the duct tape ;)

Hilarious! I hope you went grocery shopping. But you're right, at least you have liquids.

Your dad's sneeze really rung the doorbell? That's incredible, lol.

Hope your lip has healed.

Sally said...

I knew I liked you when I saw what you had left in your fridge :)) Too funny!

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*LO* said...

great to have you back :)

i get joy out of parking near my car twin too!

P!nky said...

hahahah that text message was funny!

Your fridge looks like mine :(

Sarah and Stewart said...

Hello there, I had been wondering what you've been up to! That straightener thing is so me... I've even left work before to drive all the way home and check, terrified I was going to burn my house down... it's always been off already. That's what I get for marrying a firefighter... Can you say paranoid? :-)

Sarah @ Life As Always

Katie said...

my fridge looked close to that until today, but with lots of condiments and not as nearly as clean!

DwnInLndn said...

So glad you found my blog! I feel like we are so similar! I read your about me and I love baseball (wish it was shorter though) and people hate when I say crown instead of crayon. Sorry not sorry. Also your boyfriend is wearing a phillies shirt and I am a total phillies fan since I live in a suburb outside of Philly!

Going to follow along, your blog seems like a perfect place to waste time away :)

Mr Lonely said...

visiting here with a smile~ =)

Regards, (A Growing Teenager Diary)

Baby Sister said...

Lol! That sneeze story is HILARIOUS!! And your fridge...well, I hope you got some shopping done. It looks sad.