Well, today may be Tuesday but it feels like Monday to me.
I took the day off yesterday because it was May 18th. A day of utmost significance. A day that has been marked on our calendar for weeks now.
It was the release of the new Cheez-It 'Extra Toasty' flavor.
And you better believe I was at the food store at 10:00 am to stock up.
Now that I write that sentence, it’s sinking in that I made a special trip to the grocery store on my day off just to buy a new snack cracker. I’m not sure if that’s a high or a low.
A few months ago, as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard Matt say, “OH SHOOT. I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO DO THAT.”
In case the forgotten task was turning off the oven or renewing the car insurance or something along those lines, I asked in my sleepy state, “Forgot to do what?”
“To write to the Cheez-It manufacturer. I want to suggest that they put more slightly burned crackers in the boxes because those are my absolute favorite.”
So basically, we have literally lost sleep over the rarity of toasty Cheez-Its.
But evidently the request went from Matt’s lips to the CEO of Kellogg’s ears because we now have two boxes of extra toasty Cheez-Its in our cabinet. I told myself that we could eat one box this week and save the second for our trip to the beach this weekend, but there is a better chance of me understanding calculus than there is of that second box of Cheez-Its making it to Saturday.
As for the rest of my day off, I woke up at 6:30 because I didn’t want to waste a second of it. I sat on the balcony and drank my coffee, got all ready for the day, made a phone call to the mortgage man, listened to two podcasts, read six chapters in a new Jodi Picoult book, cleaned the bathroom, ate a tuna sandwich, watered the plants, vacuumed, organized the clothes in my closet by color and category, went to the food store, Sam’s Club, and the post office.
And after all that I looked at the clock to figure out how to spend the last precious moments of my day off and it turns out that it was only 11:37.
So I decided to go home and grab my camera and a water bottle and take a nice long walk in the woods. I came upon a horse farm on my walk and wished I’d picked up some carrots while I was at the store for Cheez-Its.
I didn’t listen to music because I was all by myself and I’ve watched enough crime shows to know that I’d want to be able to hear if someone was sneaking up on me so I could make a speedy getaway.
Without my headphones, my mind wandered and I thought about how when I was little I read a book about a girl who found a tiny abandoned cottage in the woods and she lived there and made an adorable home for herself and even swept the floor with evergreen branches and cut the grass around the cottage with scissors, which sounds quaint in theory but in reality, not so much.
I also thought about how I wouldn’t mind living in a hidden woodsy cottage now and then, specifically when it is between 65 and 72 degrees, with no precipitation and minimal winds. However, I have to be careful not to share that with Matt because he would have us packed up and moved out and living underneath an oak tree before you can say “Where do I plug in my straightener?”
And just as I was imagining purple wildflowers lining the path to this imaginary cottage, I saw a large brown creature move out of the corner of my eye. I stopped, and spotted something walking slowly behind the trees.
And the first thought that entered my mind was, “Oh my gosh. One of those horses has escaped from the pasture. I’m going to have to CATCH A HORSE.”
It was as if forty minutes in the woods turned me into some sort of rustic superhero who can catch runaway farm animals with her bare hands.
And then the horse walked into a clearing. And the horse was a deer.
Which I should have expected because there are approximately seventy trillion deer in those woods.
After my walk it was still only about 2:30, so I decided to drive around some neighborhoods and look for homes for sale because Matt and I are beginning the process of Buying A House. And after my day yesterday I think it's best that we move into a civilized neighborhood.
With no wild animals.
And easy access to a grocery store.