Monday, December 14, 2015

tomorrow i hang the no solicitation sign

Well, something I wasn't prepared for with home ownership is door to door solicitation.

This morning a woman knocked on the door and gave an impassioned speech about the importance of conserving clean water and before I knew it I was signing my name on a petition that I'm not completely sure I agree with but what kind of barbarian says no to clean water?  Plus, it was raining and the woman was soaking wet and I felt bad for her.

Just as I handed the clipboard back to her she conveniently told me that "most of the neighbors are giving $25 today to cover them for the whole year."  I told her I didn't have any cash, which was true, but then she said she would take a check.  I told a little white lie and said my husband took the checkbook to work, but then she said if I had a smart phone and an internet connection she could show me how to do it online.

I could not stump her.

So I just told her I'd "put the check in the mail."

Later in the afternoon the doorbell rang again, and when I answered it the man standing there said, "Oh hi hun, can I talk to the homeowner?"

And I said, "Oh hi sir, I AM THE HOMEOWNER."

He seemed a little taken aback, but he introduced himself as Marvin, and apologized and told me I looked too young to own a home.

That might have been a sales tactic, but I still wasn't buying what Marvin was selling, which in actuality was an ADT home security system that miraculously went down in the monthly price every time he mentioned it.

"Twenty five dollars a month is a small price to pay for peace of mind!"

"When you come home at night and it's cold and windy and something in your house doesn't seem right, you'll be happy you signed up to pay twenty dollars a month for security!"

"If your husband has to go away overnight, you can both rest easy that you paid that ten dollars a month to keep you safe at home alone!"

I told Marvin I wanted to discuss it with Matt before I signed up for anything, and he said, "Okay.  But you're really going to have to sell him on it, because 99% of husbands say no."

You know what Matt doesn't say no to buying?

Tape measures.

It's a shame Marvin didn't have any of those to sell.


Myra said...

Hahahahaha. Omg to the tape measures. Can you send one over here?!

I think you should put up a super snarky "No Solicitation" sign just so you can enjoy the reactions people have to it :) xo

Marie said...

I totally would put a no solicitation sign up! I cannot believe she told you that she could show you how to send money from your phone. That is so pushy and crazy.

Emily said...

The door to door solicitors are annoying. I just stopped anyswering the door lol

xx Emily
Martinis & Bikinis

Whitney Leigh said...

I need one or two of those tape measurers!! I can never find ours when I need it. haha And I don't answer the door to anyone these days. Unless I am expecting someone. I hear a knock on the door and even though there isn't a window they can see me through I drop to the floor and army crawl to the stairs and wait until they leave. It's a habit.

But yeah, I don't get solicitors like that. The worst I get is the Direct TV dude and they aren't that pushy. I just tell them I'll talk to my husband about it and can I get their phone number and name so I can call them after I do. That usually makes them feel important and they leave fairly quickly.

Tammy Jo said...

hahahah Oh girl that is to dang funny! And my dad doesn't say no to water hoses. My parents have a million!!

Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld said...

Hahahaha, solicitors suck so bad! It got so bad in our neighborhood that the neighborhood itself put no soliciting signs up at the neighborhood entrance. Man, are we thankful for those!

And so funny that ol' Marvin didn't think you were the homeowner... the same thing happened to my husband when he was 32. THIRTY-TWO!! He opened the front door and the guy said, "Excuse me son, are your parents home?" I just busted out laughing and went about my business. Classic!

Cece said...

I don't answer the door either. I do not want to be held hostage in my own home when people don't want to take no for an answer. My husband will answer the door and ends up standing there for like a half hour trying to get someone to accept no and then still ends up giving in and looking for the checkbook. I only kind of feel sorry for him because that is what peep holes are for.

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I am not nice to solicitors. At all. That's if I even open the door.

emily @ a little bit of emily said...

Haha, your post always seem to make me chuckle. Love the tape measures...that would be my dad. I am sure he has a ton. :) It's like people knew you just moved in and want to attack while they can!

Christi said...

You can never have to many of the same tape For my husband it would have to be hammers or duck decoys.

Michelle said...

HA! Matt's bulk-buying strikes again!

Laura Marie Keenan said...

Ugh, solicitors are the worst! I just simply do not answer the door during the day! And here in Utah, we have to deal with missionaries too. Noo thank you!

Evelina said...

How annoying!!! I seriously hate when people try to sell me stuff or get me to donate at the door. Usually if I don't recognize who it is, I just don't answer the door.

Rachel said...

And that's the bonus of living in the total boondocks. We never got any solicitors in the USA because we lived too far from civilization.

Pamela {Sequins and Sea Breezes} said...

Girl, I feel you on the solicitation thing. We have a sign in our neighborhood and it's a gated community and somehow they still get in! The tape measure thing had me cracking up! <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

bahahaha the tape measures. hilarious. we mostly ignore them, or i just shut them down before they start talking. they are just so persistent and i'm not interested!

JumpingJE said...

Wishing you well with your mission to avoid the solicitation. You'll have to have a few firm conversations about reading that sign outside your home!

Baby Sister said...

Holy tape measures Batman! It looks he might have one or two. He must have been a boy scout.

One of these days I want to make/purchase a sign that says "No soliciting unless you're selling thin mints or Oreos" because really, what more would you want anyone to sell? :)

Meg Taylor said...

Hahaha those tape measures! My husband's tool box looks about the same. I remember we used to get solicited all the time when we lived in a house, and I would always hide and not answer the door lol!

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

I can't believe door to door solicitors are still a thing, I just never answer the door. And LOL at the tape measures!

Merry Christmas gurlie <3

Green Fashionista

Lindsey said...

Our subdivision has a sign that says no soliciting when you drive in but people still do it all the time. I like listening for a second and then say, Did you know there's no soliciting in this neighborhood? They usually get a really weird look on their face--guilt--and apologize, but I don't feel bad because I don't need some random man coming to my door to tell me that there have been a bunch of break ins in the neighborhood and that I should get a home security system. He's the only sketchy thing that's been around. lol.

Mila Myk said...

LOL.I once said 'do you have to come in' instead of 'would you like to come in' to a woman with the petition . Freudian slip? ;)

Making Restorations said...

Wow how rude. Though it seems like he also could have been scouting your place for break-in. Good luck with your sign

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