I mentioned a few weeks ago that Matt and I had signed up for the Citizen's Police Academy in our town, and we got "accepted" (I think the bar was very low). I put the initials C.P.A. from 7-9 on Wednesdays on my work Outlook calendar, which my boss has access to. I have some out of town meetings this week, and I didn't request a hotel room for Wednesday night. The administrative assistant who handles hotel reservations emailed me and my boss last week and said "I just want to confirm that Laura doesn't need a room for Wednesday night."
My boss emailed me and said, "I'll let you respond to Maryedna's email, but I assume you don't need a room because I see on your calendar you have a meeting with your CPA that night."
Or a meeting of the Citizen's Police Academy.
I was afraid we would be the only people there.
I was wrong. There are 35 people in our class, and there are even other young couples just like us.
Three minutes into our first class I began mentally drafting my resignation letter to my boss in order to pursue my newly realized dream of becoming a police officer. The dream last approximately four minutes until they told us the physical requirements for women in my age bracket.
Oh Laura Darling, OUT.
I managed to enjoy the rest of the class, despite accepting the fact that I would be a paralegal forever, and we learned all sorts of things. We live in a fairly large suburb outside of Philadelphia and I learned that our police department is the second largest in the county, with 96 officers.
We also learned that the busiest hours for police here is from 12 pm to 9 pm. I always assumed that the busiest time is the middle of the night due to all of the burglaries and kidnappings, but apparently that doesn't really happen here.
All I legitimately have to fear at night is my shower caddy.
The officer teaching the class asked us if we'd ever had to call the police out to our homes, and what were the qualities that we appreciated in the responding officers?
There were many stories of medical emergencies, car break-ins, fires, etc. Matt was dying for me to raise my hand and tell everyone about the time I called the police because a wire in our yard was hanging low, and the police came out just to tell me that Verizon was doing work on their lines in our neighborhood.
It was an embarrassing experience, but I did appreciate the quality that the officers DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
We got a behind the scenes tour of the police station this past Wednesday, our third wedding anniversary. If you told me on March 8, 2014, while I ate fancy food and wore the most beautiful gown and rode in a limousine and felt like I was living a fairy tale that I'd spend March 8, 2017 touring the local police station FOR FUN, I wouldn't have believed you.
But there we were, in the cell block, at the fingerprint station, and touring the mugshot setup, which was admittedly very interesting.
I did struggle to keep my composure in the cell block though because the officer was telling us about career criminals. And he kept using the word "burgle" as a verb. As in "We do run into some career criminals. They get out of jail and go right back to burgling. That's just what they do. They burgle."
I was literally biting my lip not to laugh.
I've since googled the word "burgle" and learned that while burglarize is the more commonly accepted term in the US of A, burgle is not technically incorrect.
This week was also the week where Matt decided to share his law enforcement knowledge with the rest of the class. He kept a low profile the first week, but didn't hold back this week. I half expected the lieutenant to give him a taser and an honorary badge on our way out.
The officer asked the two times when people are most likely to run from cops. Matt knew: when they are being handcuffed, and when they are being taken out of the car at the station.
He asked the one time when a juvenile can be kept in a jail cell. Matt knew: when they are being charged as an adult for their crime.
He asked the names of the police officers assigned to the local high school AND MATT KNEW THEIR NAMES EVEN THOUGH HE HASN'T BEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL IN A DECADE.
We have class again this Wednesday and it's all about K-9 units. It will all be news to me, but it won't surprise me at all if Matt already knows some of the commands.