Saturday was my favorite kind of day. My eyes opened for the first time around 9:30, and I lounged around for an hour or three while I drank my coffee and read and wandered around the apartment looking out the windows and thinking, "I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO TODAY!!"
After all of that relaxing I got dressed and ready for the afternoon, which consisted of painting my nails and watching Lifetime TV with Michelle and hot rolling my hair just for fun.
After a while Michelle and I decided to clean the apartment from top to bottom. In just over an hour, we had cleaned every inch of the apartment, even scrubbing the kitchen floor on hands and knees because WE MEANT BUSINESS. I think Michelle may even have said, "Go big or go home" when she broke out the can of fancy orange-scented Pledge.
Once the apartment was clean I decided to go get my car washed. There is a place near my office where you can get your car washed for just THREE AMERICAN DOLLARS and let's be honest, you can't beat that price.
Unless it was two dollars.
Anyway I had to swing by the bank before I went to the car wash because I didn't have any cash and I was unsure if the car wash accepted debit cards. And I didn't want to find out that they didn't take cards when my tires were already on the track and Old Blue was about to be doused with three dollar soap. Could you imagine maneuvering your way out of that situation? I would be willing to bet that the motorists behind me in line wouldn't appreciate my failure to research acceptable payment types.
It was about 3:30 when I drove to the bank, and as I drove I thought about how happy I am that PNC is my bank. They are so friendly and have great hours and I even composed a letter in my head to the big bosses telling them that PNC should stand for "Pretty Nice and Convenient."
As soon as I pulled into the parking lot I noticed that there was only one car in the lot. Typically Saturday afternoons are busy at the bank, and I laughed as I looked at that one lonely car and thought, "NOW WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF THE BANK WAS OUT OF MONEY?"
And then I walked up to the ATM and saw this message.
And no, it wasn't funny.
It was Pretty Not Cool.
I turned Old Blue around and went home, which was ultimately a poor decision because you will never guess where my dirty, pollen covered car ended up the next day.
In a valet parking line.
That's right. I went to a wedding shower at a fancy place where valet parking was the only option. I've never had a valet park my car before and I am almost embarrassed to admit that I was nervous handing over the keys. Would he turn the lights off? Would he put the emergency brake on if he parked on even a slight incline like I do? Would he press the lock button twice just to be sure?
The good news is that Old Blue was returned to me safe and sound at the end of the shower. The bad news is that there was no complimentary car wash, so tomorrow I will make another attempt to go to the car wash.
Here's hoping the bank found some cash.