Well hello. How are you? I am away on a work trip right now, watching Million Dollar Pools and trying to decide which bed to sleep in. Since I started this job in September, I have been on several overnight trips, and as such, have become an expert in the whole hotel thing. My arrival routine has been perfected, and I can check in, unload my bags, park my car, fill the ice bucket, and locate the vending machine in about thirteen minutes flat.
I was going to attempt a personal best twelve minute arrival routine today, but unfortunately things did not go as planned. When I checked in, the woman at the front desk told me that my room would be on the fifth floor, and that although the lobby appeared to be the ground floor, it was actually the third.
Since that meant I only had to go up two floors to get to my room, I decided to take the steps and just count that as my exercise for the...week.
I climbed up the two flights of stairs, but when I opened the door into the hallway, all of the room numbers started with 6. I figured that in my quest for convenient exercise, I had inadvertently gone up an extra flight.
OH, I AM ALWAYS DOING THAT!
Anyway, it seemed like an easy enough fix to just walk down one flight of stairs from the 6th to 5th floor. So that's what I did. But when I opened the door, all of the room numbers started with 4.
WELL COLOR ME CONFUSED.
Since I couldn't figure out how the stairs worked, I figured I would have to give the elevator a try, an option that also gave me cause for slight concern because I've been known to commit an elevator navigation faux pas or two in my day.
Luckily there was some literature in the elevator informing perplexed patrons like myself that floors 4 and 5 are actually on the same level.
BECAUSE THAT IS LOGICAL AND NOT AT ALL UNUSUAL.
Finally, and I do mean FINALLY, I located my room on the 4th/5th floor, and I am sad to report that it's not quite as fancy as the other hotels I've stayed in. The pillows aren't as fluffy, the carpet isn't as plush, and the toilet isn't as...level...
Not to mention that sound coming from the mini-fridge mimics an aircraft at take off, and as I was typing this post I pulled out the nightstand to plug in my laptop, and discovered two unidentified pills lying on the floor.
They seem to resemble Advil Liquigels, but I'm just going to follow the old saying and let
sleeping dogs unidentified medication lie.
After I surveyed the accommodations, I decided to unpack my things right away before I got settled in with my new Damsel in a Dress nail polish and some HGTV. And five minutes later the bathroom counter looked like this.
All of this equipment for a trip that's less than 48 hours long. Not pictured is a set of hot rollers that I brought along JUST IN CASE.
No one will ever say that I travel lightly.
Or that I'm low maintenance.
On the bright side, at least I'll look good if I get lost in the stairwell again.