might just be time for botox

One thing that is never lacking around our apartment is humility self-confidence.  Michelle and I consider ourselves to be experts on every subject from foreign policy to parenting even though we have absolutely no experience with either.  And we are absolutely positive that we are gorgeous. 

This belief was validated a few months ago Michelle's boyfriend mentioned that he downloaded an app that scans your face and then rates your beauty on a scale of one to one hundred.  He thought the results were totally inaccurate as he and others were scoring numbers that were lower than anticipated, so he was planning on deleting it.  Michelle asked him to keep it until we could give it a try, and so he came over and we scanned our faces and I'm proud to report that we scored in the high 90s.

Higher than ANGELINA JOLIE.

We bring our scores up frequently, and by frequently I mean at least once daily.  

Listen, it's almost impossible for a couple of 96s to stay humble.

A few weeks ago Michelle read an article about Olay's Total Effects Anti-Aging Night Cream, and started using it.  After just a few days she reported noticeable changes and could hardly keep track of the compliments she was receiving, so of course I hightailed it to Target toot suite to pick some up some of this miracle cream for myself. 

I even got the facial scrub because go big or go home.

For the past several weeks I have been using both products with much noticed success.  

Or so I thought.

At work on Thursday, my phone rang.  It was the HR manager from my company.  She works in the main office which is about two hours away from my office, so I don't see her a whole lot, but when I do I try to make pleasant small talk with her because I'm no fool.  I know whose good side to stay on.

She had a  few clarifying questions about a few forms I had recently submitted, and after she asked them she said, "Oh, one more thing.  Are you over age 45?"

I'm sorry, did you call the wrong person?

FORTY-FIVE?

Here I am liberally applying anti-again night cream to my 24 year old face in an attempt not to appear 30 prematurely.

But 45?  I didn't know I had such an uphill battle.

Maybe I should ask Angelina Jolie for some tips.


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Comments

Girlfriend, looking 45 and sounding 45 are two entirely different things! As long as you don't sound like a 30 year long emphysema sufferer, you're probably a-okay.

Oh, and Olay's night cream is what I live for. I even love the way it smells. I can smell the wrinkles evaporating on a cloud of lilies.
Angela said…
45?! There's no way you look even half that girl!
Sisters Marie said…
she was probably just on auto-pilot, just asking all her usual questions. without thinking :)

Sisters Marie
Buy * Sell * Swap on BISTM!
Kelly said…
Omg, what is wrong with that HR lady?! Please girl, you do not look a day over 24.
You don't even need anti-aging cream! That woman is crazy.
Lauren said…
Awww well no matter what, you are still a 96! Maybe she just had you confused with someone else in your office that she rarely sees??
Sarah said…
Haha, oh man! I am actually in HR too and I'm surprised she isn't able to just look up your age in the "system" without asking you! And heck, if she's going to ask you she shouldn't say that!

You look gorgeous as ever and do NOT look like you're over 45 :D
Kelly said…
Haha, oh dear. She probably has to ask everyone that just like I feel flattered when I'm carded, but I know the bars here have to card everyone who is passable for under 50.

Do you like the Olay face cream though? I am looking to start anti-wrinkle creams now, but I don't want to waste money on products that do nothing.
Faith said…
Omg! This made me laugh out loud! So funny!
Baby Sister said…
Seriously?? You don't even look close to 45. How ridiculous. That's like someone asking my sister-in-law who's only 36 if she was her daughter's grandma. SO crazy.
Sarah Alway said…
I bought a bottle of liquor at the grocery store the other day and didn't get asked for my ID, and was super offended. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T LOOK 21?! Grrr... ;-)

Sarah @ Life As Always