Thursday, October 31, 2013

this has nothing to do with halloween



Well today began just like every day.  In other words, I rolled out of bed at 7:10 after hitting the snooze button six times, and walked to the shower with my eyes closed while I vowed to go to bed at 8:00 tonight because I WILL NOT SPEND ANOTHER MORNING FEELING THIS TIRED.

After an hour, a huge cup of coffee, and some Good Morning America, I woke up, and proceeded through the day feeling alert and alive.  I spent the morning in court and the afternoon fielding some tough questions.

(I may or may not have agreed to do this.  Since I have neither the desire nor the license to kill hunt, I will not be shooting anything, so it sounds like my job will be scaring pheasants out of the underbrush.  Obviously I will be the best pheasant scarer the Pennsylvania gamelands have ever seen.)

(And the most humble.)

Unfortunately the lovely nature in which my day was progressing came to an abrupt halt upon my return home from work.

But before I explain, I must tell you that last night Michelle and I decided that since the holidays are right around the corner, we should get a jump on our Christmas correspondence.  Last year we sent out a photo card with a witty message that received rave reviews.  In an effort to top that, as well as perhaps FINALLY get an invitation to be on Kathie Lee and Hoda, which is our dream, this year we thought we’d rewrite the lyrics to a popular Christmas tune to summarize the last two years we’ve spent in our apartment.

Do you know the only people who will be interested in that?  Our mothers, that’s who.  But we pressed on despite the limited scope of our audience.  And we came up with the following, sung to the tune of Up On the Housetop:

Here in our town the snow falls,
The dishwasher breaks and the fridge stalls.
The heater only works for one week a year,
Where our rent money goes is not so clear.

Obviously you can see why we fancy ourselves quite the humorists.

We wrote several verses and laughed and laughed because every appliance in our apartment has broken during our residency here and do you know when it’s easy to laugh about broken appliances?

When they’re working.

Anyway, when I got home from work yesterday, I opened the fridge to get a snack, and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a completely dark fridge with a foreboding smell.  I didn’t hear any noise to indicate that the fridge was indeed on, so I turned the temperature setting down in hopes that would cause it to kick on.  That didn’t work, so unplugged it, waited ten seconds, and plugged it back in, also known as my ACE IN THE HOLE of all mechanical maladies.  When even that was unsuccessful, I called the emergency maintenance line because S.O.S.!

Ten minutes later I was in the kitchen in a panic, filling bags upon bags with all manner of frozen mozzarella sticks and popsicles (WHY OH WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY POPSICLES) so that I could take them to my parents’ freezer, when my main(tenance) man Marv (who is at our apartment at least three times a month) knocked.  

The door was open so I yelled for him to let himself in, and he nonchalantly waltzed in, completely unconcerned by the fact that I was packing away bottles of coffee creamer like a madwoman.

“Ah, this is going to be an easy fix,” he said slooooowly, “the inspectors were in all the apartments today making sure things are up to code, so they probably just forgot to turn your breaker back on.”  He walked over to the breaker box in the closet and LIKE MAGIC, ON CAME THE FRIDGE.

“If this ever happens again,” he said, “you can just check the breaker box to make sure all of the switches are flipped before you call maintenance.”

HELLO MARV, HAVE WE MET? 

I am the girl who calls you when our lightbulbs burn out and even flagged you down in the parking lot last winter when my car was flashing a "low brake fluid" warning EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT AN AUTO MECHANIC.
 
In addition, I already have a lot on my plate learning to become a pheasant scarer.  If I am going to become an expert with the electrical breakers, I am going to need some serious time to study that field and perhaps a pamphlet or two with helpful tips and photographic examples.

And some wine.

At least I know that will be perfectly chilled.


Photobucket

34 comments:

K said...

I would be so mad that they forgot to turn it back on. Our fridge only breaks when we have JUST gone food shopping. Naturally. I hope none of your food was wasted!

P!nky said...

Awww man, I've missed the breaker box before....eep!

Hunting, sounds like a fun adventure! :)

CaseyinTO said...

Oh Laura, dont you know there is no need to freeze popsicles to preserve them? they will be fine if they melt... hahaha

Glad your fridge is fine! id probably do the same thing!!

Emily said...

Ha! 1) I appreciate your Christmas endeavors starting this early, as they should. and 2) This Marv sounds like of godly? and like a big life saver? I need a Marv.

Abbey said...

I love hearing about Marv.

brooke lyn said...

dying over the fact you waved in down like he was an auto mechanic.

Brittany said...

Hahaha...I'm the same way with our maintenance man. That is the one true glory of living in an apartment - someone will fix it for you! I don't know what I will do when the day comes that I don't have someone to help.

Baby Sister said...

You're a good fiance. Good luck scaring pheasants!! I probably would have said no...but I've never been asked by the hubby, so who knows.

Seriously? The breaker?? How lame!! It should have at least been something good...

Susannah said...

I probably would cry if my fridge stopped working... Seriosuly... And also, WHO WOULD THINK TO CHECK A FREAKING BREAKER?!?!?!? Not me, that's for certain! I don't even know where our breaker is!

Sarah said...

hahaha good story. totally something i would do!!

I freak when anything stops working/busts!

Have a great weekend friend!

Becky said...

Hahaha I'm glad Marv could fix it! I would have not known that either. I hope hunting goes well tomorrow :)

Jessica said...

I'm glad that your refrigerator isn't actually broken. Good luck scaring pheasants! I am picturing it like the game Duck Hunt.

Rachel said...

I'm glad it was an easy fix!! That would be scary not to have your fridge working-the first thing I would think about is all that money in food in there!
And I avoid any invitations to hunt. Around here, it would be deer hunting, and mostly that means sitting in the woods doing nothing while freezing to death.

blm said...

oh gosh, this would so be me.

Jessie said...

This is soooo funny! And something I would totally do. Yeah, just make it work. I don't care how, I just need it to work. haha Happy pheasant scaring!

Rachael said...

Hey Laura! I just found your cute blog from your comment on mine...but you live in Pennsylvania? We lived there for two years, my husband graduated from penn state! Small world :) Love your blog!

Letters from a Mermaid said...

The funniest things seem to happen to you! I always love a stop by :) Have a great day gaining an hour of sleep! :)

scrapperjen said...

I'm glad the fridge was an easy fix. PS-you should never mention your appliances in your place of residence, they WILL hear you and show you who's boss... ;-)

Christina Talhame said...

Seriously, you are too funny. I, also, would LOVE to one day be on Kathie Lee & Hoda. Those two are just hilarious and so fun!

-Christina Theresa

Jayda said...

Umm, I LOVE your Up On the Housetop parody! Kathie Lee and Hoda should be so lucky! (Admittedly, I only have the foggiest idea of who they are, but still!) And it's the worst when appliances don't work!

Jenny @ Creatively Blooming said...

I grew up in Texas. In the heart of deer hunting country. And I wouldn't be caught dead out in a deer stand. 1) It's too dang cold. 2) How am I supposed to be quiet that long? Now an African safari hunt I could maybe do. But sitting in a deer stand? Nope. Did it once, don't really want to do it again. But, I'll gladly send my husband or take any venison any friends offer! Hope you were a good pheasant scarer!

Angela said...

Girl you are hilarious! Good luck hunting, I am not sure I could do that... you are a brave woman! :)

Fash Boulevard said...

haha. Loved this. :)

Amanda Chic said...

love it

http://www.facebook.com/AmandaChicFashionRoomLounge?ref=hl
twitter & instagram : @fashionrlounge
Fashion room lounge

A chic kiss ;)

Courtney B said...

Oh my gosh, I never would have thought to check the breaker!! But how ANNOYING that they "forgot" to flip it back on for you. Ugh!
So, did you go hunting? :)

p.s. I wish my wake up time was 7:10. It's so lame that that is totally sleeping in for me, now. And it's not because of Mia! Eric gets up at 5:30 to go to work so I usually get up with him and work out and blog. Ugh!

Melissa said...

Bahahahaha this is the story of my roommate and my life. We live in a dump, if I'm being honest, and our landlord likes to take his sweet time repairing everything haha we didn't know what to do when we tripped the breaker either ;)

Julia Barger said...

Ahahah...this made me laugh. Sounds like something that would...*cough*...*has*....happened to me.

Lauren Flowers said...

Hahah love the comment "I will have to think about that one" You sound just like me! I love your blog and I am so glad to find you from my comments! Would love for you to follow me at http://sincerelymrslo.blogspot.com/ :)

christina said...

haha that is so funny.

i never like hunting b/c it was cold nad you couldn't talk lol

Maddie Bowen said...

This is possibly the best thing I've read today. You are hilarious. Love your blog!

AiringMyDirtyLaundry said...

I'm not sure if I could go hunting only because blood freaks me out. And I don't like to be cold.


Plus, you need to charge your phone. I noticed it was at 9%.

Jennie Grange said...

ha ha ha love the text conversation!
ps. girl your blog is darling!

Linzi Scarsella said...

Your song redo is cute! Sorry about your fridge, if it makes you feel better I blew the breaker in my bathroom this morning!

Haley said...

Haha.. This was awesome. I like the way you write.. you're very engaging.
There was a time when we had SO MANY popsicles but none of them were in the original box? They were all loose all over the freezer..? And yes, broken appliances are laughable, when they aren't broken. It's crazy how fast life can be turned upside down when something as simple as a fridge stops working. Oh and we got a new fridge last year and I was transferring all of the food from the old into the new. Those babies carry A LOT of food... the food covered our entire kitchen table, the stove top and the counter tops. If my fridge died it would be total hell here..! Glad yours was an easy fix. Good ol' Marv;)

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