Wednesday, April 23, 2014

it will bee a while before i can relax

Well, Matt and I have been married for six whole weeks now, so we decided it was high time that we add a pet to the mix.

And so, we got a little turtle.  This is a picture of him last night as he got acquainted with the apartment.

Oh, I kid.  I will never share a home with a member of the reptile family, which is something I made clear to Matt before the wedding day since he grew up with two lizards names Ozzie and Harriet, and a snake that "got loose" in his house and was NEVER FOUND.

History, lest ye not repeat yourself.

Last night I was changing from my work clothes into my leisure outfit, because a girl's gotta be comfy at all times, when Matt yelled from the dining room, "URGENT, URGENT.  I NEED A SHOE IMMEDIATELY."  I grabbed the closest shoe I could find, a very delicate ballet flat.  However, when I arrived in the dining room and saw the creature we were up against, I quickly surmised that my ballet flat was no match.

I switched the flat out for one of Matt's sneakers while Matt inspected the intruding creature a little more closely. 

It was a bee.

A killer bee.

Since Matt didn't want it to fly away when he came at it with his shoe, I grabbed a giant can of hairspray so that he could disable it before the sneak-er attack.  I provided Matt with the shoe and the hairspray and then I ran into the bathroom and locked the door because I think when we said those wedding vows six whole weeks ago there was a line in there about the husband killing the bugs.

Well, I heard Matt douse that bee with more hairspray than I wore to my junior prom, and then he stomped it, and vacuumed it up.

And it kept buzzing.

And buzzing.

And it was still alive when Matt took the vacuum canister out to the dumpster an hour later, with dust glued to its entire body, courtesy of the liberal hairspray application.

The downside to this whole episode is that now we have a quarter can of VO5 extra hold hairspray on our floor. 

The upside is that we still have a place to live, because if it had been up to me to deal with this situation alone, I would have packed my bags and moved out, naturally.

So now I'm just holding my breath that we don't have another intruder.

At this point, I think I'd prefer a pet lizard.


Emily said...

knock on wood I have never been stung by anything-bee wasp etc. Hope no more intruders for you! I would be terrified too and make he guy kill it.

Haley said...

A REAL killer bee!?! I'm gullible so you'll have to clear this up! lol

The poor sticky bee covered in dust. I love that you guys caked him in hairspray first. !!!

Emily said...

Locking self in room and/or packing bags and moving all sounds completely reasonable, if you ask me. Because that's exactly what I want to do when any bug find its way in our home. Several mosquitoes? No. A roach? I'm a mile and a half down the road already.

Margaret said...

Thank God for husbands being able to kill bugs!! Spiders are my downfall- no matter how big or small. My husband knows the voice I use whenever I need him to kill something and he makes fun of me for it all the time!

Hilary said...

My husband "adopted" a stray cat when he was a teenager. He left it locked in his bedroom with food and water when his family went on a cruise for a week and the cat disappeared, never to be seen again. I asked him if he ever smelled anything strange and he said no, but where in the world could it have gone?

Traci said...

I have used various aerosol sprays for the killing of bugs. Works everytime!!

Blogger Ash said...

OMG! I've heard of people's pet snakes getting loose and never being found? What the heck happens to them? I mean, where do they go?! That gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
Is the hairspray on wood or carpet?
Hopefully there won't be anymore!

~Ashley @ A Cute Angle

brooke lyn said...

that bee is no joke. holy frightening

Ashlee said...

Oh my gosh - I would have freaked out. Apart from being allergic to bees..I have a big fear of anything that can fly or buzz. haha.

Good thing your husband was there to save the day..I would have found myself in the other room until the bee was out of the house.

So glad you stopped by my blog and said hello - I love meeting new blog friends!!!

-Ashlee Michelle

Rachel said...

I have totally run into the bedroom and locked the door before while Angel dealt with intruders. (In our house, it was usually a bat!)

Jackie said...

I hate bees. HATE them. And I don't have a husband or boyfriend to kill one if they end up inside. I am screwed.

Baby Sister said...

Ugh!! That is not cool. I swear we've found 5 or 6 spiders in the last 3 days. Seriously?? Bring back the winter!! I don't want any more bugs!! Good luck, I wish you a bug free house.

Jenny @ Creatively Blooming said...

Good gosh! That thing is like a dinosaur bee! And maybe a mutant too. How in the world was it still alive? Did it fly back out of the dumpster?

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I've unfortunately found out that once there is one... there is many! Keep the hairspray at the ready!

Brandi said...

Um, I don't blame you I would have freaked out too. I hate bugs, especially when they have the word killer for a name. Yikes!!!