The other night I completed my final homework assignment. Ever. Or at least, until I go to law school.
JUST KIDDING about the law school thing.
The assignment was for my trusts and estates class, and it was to draft my will. As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t have much in the way of assets, so it took no time at all for me to complete the assignment. My beneficiaries will be so lucky! When I die they will be handed enough money to go out to lunch! And perhaps even order dessert!
After I was finished with my will, I decided to paint my nails, because earlier this week I had a regrettable run in with a bottle of turquoise nail polish and it was high time for the situation to be resolved. I’ve been searching for a lovely shade of turquoise to take me through these final weeks of summer, and last week I thought I had met my match in the $1.00 nail polish section of Bed Bath and Beyond. I rushed home with my new nail polish and some high expectations, and got to work right away.
It looked awful. Just plain UGLY. Instead of the beachy, summery look that I was going for, I ended up looking like I either had some sort of unfortunate nail disease or incredibly poor circulation.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, I made a critical mistake during the application process. As soon as I realized things were heading south, I decided to apply several coats in a futile effort to improve the color, which is how I ended up with TURQUOISE STAINED NAILS. I am now sporting a lovely shade of gunmetal gray because that is the only color I had in my extensive nail polish collection dark enough to cover the remains of Turquoise Mistake of 2011.
If anyone has some suggestions for turquoise nail polish that is in my price range, meaning three dollars or less, I’m all ears.
While I was doing my nails, Emily was lured by the unmistakable smell of acetone and came in to join me. Apparently I still had death/dying/last wills on my mind because before I knew what I was saying I suggested that we play a little game called “Seven words you want on your gravestone.”
Just call me if you need a cheerful, uplifting game suggestion!
After intense deliberation, we decided that my seven words should be “She liked to laugh. And eat alot.” Emily’s would read, “She was quirky, and also very emotional.”
I don’t know that two people have ever been summed up so accurately.
Once our nails were finished I went into my room to read a little bit before bed. A few minutes later I heard a knock, and Emily popped her head in.
“Hey Laura,” she said, “Am I allowed to please add two more words to my gravestone saying?”
Was she allowed? AS IF I AM THE BOSS OF HER HYPOTHETICAL EPITAPH.
However, I take my chances at authority where I can get them, so I gave her permission. As soon as I said yes she breathed a HUGE sigh of relief and said, “OH GOOD, because I REALLY want to make sure I add that I’m pretty.”
The good news is, we won’t need to find room for the word “humble.”