it was officially the first time i had a real weapon in my car

Well, I spent the better part of my day today at the police station.

I went out partying last night and got a little carried away.

JUST KIDDING.  

I was actually there for work, and as I was driving back to the office I started to think about how I spent the first seven or eight years of my life being reduced to tears whenever I saw a man in any sort of official uniform.  The real kicker was the fact that my family lived mere miles from a large naval base, which meant that there were uniformed men, and therefore tears from yours truly, everywhere we went.  

The bank.  

The library.  

The movies.  

And I can still picture, CLEAR AS DAY, men in military uniforms standing at the deli counter in the grocery store.  

I was a JOY for my parents to take out in public!

I don't know why I had such fear of men in uniform when I was little, but rest assured that I have made a complete and total recovery and now I have to resist saying OH YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME IN YOUR UNIFORM.  PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT ALL OF YOUR BADGES!

My phone rang at work last week and one of my detective friends was on the other line, calling abut a hearing that he had been subpoenaed to.   Imagine my surprise when I heard him say, "I'm calling about the hearing on Thursday.  Could I...uhhh...ride with you?"

HOLD. THE. PHONE.

And hold the phone is just what I did.  In fact, I said, "Well Detective, let me just think a little bit about that and get back to you," and then I hung that phone right up.

SMOOTH MOVE, LAURA.

I did have several reservations about using my car and driving skillz to transport an officer of the law. 

Specifically, what would I say when he got in my car?  HOP IN DETECTIVE, AND BUCKLE UP!

I was also worried about my occasional lead foot.  Would the detective judge me and my speed?  Worse yet, could he issue me a ticket if I displayed disregard for that pesky speed limit?

Another concern I had revolved around my friend Flo at Progressive Insurance.  I am participating in the Snapshot Discount program, which means that I have a small device plugged into my car that beeps when I make a mistake.  Or, more specifically, when I engage in "harsh braking."  During my first thirty days of monitoring I earned a 27% discount (HOLLA), but the device does still beep once in a while because while I'm almost perfect, I'm not quite there yet.  And it is not a dainty, delicate beep beep beep.  Oh no.  It's more of an obnoxious BEEP. BEEP.  BEEEEEEEP.

And finally, what kind of music do detectives listen to?  I doubt he would appreciate a soundtrack of my friends Flo Rida and Pitbull, whose songs place a heavy focus on those same illegal activities that the detective spends his life trying to eliminate.

After some soul searching and co-worker consulting, I called the detective back and told him to meet me at the office Thursday morning and we would journey together. 

And so he did.  The hearing was in downtown Philadelphia, a place I had never driven before I started this job in September.  And if you had told me when I signed that offer letter that in just a few short months I would be driving into Philadelphia ALONE with a detective and his weaponry in the passenger seat I would have said YOU CRAZY.


But alas, that's what happened.  And I am proud to report that I got us there and back with no major crises.  We listened to a neutral radio station.  I didn't speed and and my Progressive monitor didn't beep AT ALL.  I really concentrated on braking very gently because seriously, how embarrassing would a violation beep have been?! 

And the best news of all is that I didn't even shed one tear.

I'm really growing up.


Comments

Anonymous said…
See if you can arrange to have that detective ride with you every time you drive into the city. You never know when you may need him.
Sarah said…
"one of my detective friends was on the other line..." That just cracked me up. I bet if I was the one saying that I would never feel prouder!

And you're right...Flo is LOUD!
Lily said…
this post literally had me laughing. If I had to transport an office of the law I'd ask myself the same questions or completely panic and not do it at all lol.
Lindsay said…
I don't think I could have done it! Way to go! Horray no beeps! Hahaa
Loved this post :) I've never heard of he progressive beeper thingy! Super neat! Glad you got there without any mishaps!
Hilary Anna said…
wow! Good for you and not crying in front of a man in a uniform! ;) hehe. That is too cute. Oh, and I see you're a Penn Stater... me too! Wanna be friends? :)
This is such a cute post! It had me smiling the whole time. I get a few moments like this when it dawns on me that I've grown up and I need to pat myself on the back!

Well done Laura! And thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving some love :)
Glad there were no troubles! I am scared of uniform men too lol!
Janna Renee said…
This just CRACKED me up! I can totally picture the situation the way you described it....My hubby is in the Army, so it would be quite a predicament if I had uniform issues. I was wondering how that snapshot discount works...I have Progressive too!
Baby Sister said…
Oh goodness, I don't think I could have done it. Especially knowing my car could beep at any second!! No thank you!!