You know what you should never, ever do? Put a banana in your purse on Wednesday morning with the intention of eating it for a mid-morning snack, and then forget completely about it, only to discover it open and smushed in the bottom of your purse on Thursday night.
I learned the hard way that it's not easy to get a sticky mixture of banana and Dawn dish soap out of the fabric in the bottom of your cute teal purse.
You can't buy that kind of advice.
Other than that mishap things have been pretty status quo around here. Yesterday I spent five hours in the car. Do you know what five hours in the car is? It's about four hours too long.
I drove two hours to a meeting that featured several mini-workshops on all sorts of topics, one of which was travel and hotel safety. I've never really been nervous staying in hotels by myself. However, let me just state for the record that is no longer the case. Because yesterday I learned that I should never use my first name on a reservation, and always to check in as a "Mr. and Mrs." in an effort to deter would-be criminals. I also learned that fires in hotels are quite dangerous because most hotel windows don't open, and that I should bring a mini-safe with my and chain my valuables to the pipe underneath the bathroom sink when I leave the room.
I would like to never travel again, thank you.
After that frightening lesson I drove two hours back home and then picked Matt up at the train station and drove to his dad's for dinner. His dad's house is three minutes from the train station, but in those three minutes Matt read a few chapters in my car's owner's manual and then performed a four point inspection on my tires once we reached our destination. Everything checked out perfectly, but I think I sensed a bit of disappointment from Matt because nothing makes him happier than a potential automotive project.
When we left his dad's I turned the radio on, and LO AND BEHOLD, one of my favorite songs was playing. That song was Can't Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon.
I know. My taste in music is exquisite.
Of course I started singing along and during a musical interlude I turned to Matt and said, "Do you know who sings this?" He looked at me like that was the craziest question I could have asked him and said, with great confidence, "Of course I know who sings this. Billy Joel."
Color me confused.
It turns out that he momentarily confused Billy Joel with Elton John. And the line "You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark, winter's night" made him think of the song, "Candle In the Wind."
Don't worry. I cleared everything up for him.
We can't all be eighties power ballad connoisseurs.
A minute later we stopped at a red light next to a Pontiac G6, and Matt started talking about how he really likes the G6, and how there is an even sportier version than the one we were next to that he likes even more. And then he mentioned how sad he is that they aren't made anymore.
At which point I asked "Well, why did they stop making them?"
Evidently Pontiac is out of business. Has been for quite some time now.
We can't all be car manufacturer connoisseurs.
Since there are no photos in this post I've taken the liberty of adding this one. It's a bottle of iced tea that I bought today, yet the expiration date on the bottle has come and gone. So now I'm just deciding whether or not I should sue.
If I did, I could probably buy a new, banana-free purse with my winnings.
I'll keep you posted.