Saturday, July 18, 2015

i should've brought my dentures and aarp card for this walk down memory lane

My sister has a twitter account and she has recently starting posting hilarious tweets pairing song titles with her current situations and they CRACK. ME. UP.


The other night Emily and I went to Chipotle for dinner.  After we paid we realized that we'd completely forgot to order drinks, so we decided to take our burrito bowls to my parents' house to eat.  When we got to the house I told Emily that her tweets had been so clever and funny and she asked me why I don't use twitter more often.

"I don't really like to write tweets," I said, "I like to re-post funny things that other people write.  Like the one I posted today about how 'don't want no scrubs' is a double negative."

She stared at me with a blank look on her face.

"You know, like the TLC song No Scrubs?"

"No.  I have no idea what you're talking about,"  she said.

I almost fell off the couch.

And so I navigated us on a two hour long journey down memory lane and introduced her to not only No Scrubs but also Waterfalls, some Will Smith classics, Country Grammar, and and then we took a turn down the super pop road of BB Mak, 98 Degrees, N Sync, Aaliyah, and finally Mandy Moore.

When my girl Mandy came on the computer screen singing Candy and wearing a crew neck long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of Levi's, I said to Emily, "See? This is how pop stars dressed back in the day.  Not like today when we have Miley Cyrus prancing around wearing hardly more than a few pieces of strategically placed dental floss." 

And that's when Emily, who is seven years younger than I am, said, "Whoa, Laur.  You sound OLD."

I took that opportunity to tell Emily about the outfit that I wore to my very first school dance in seventh grade.  Boot cut blue jeans, a white t-shirt, a blue and white checkered blouse unbuttoned over the white t-shirt, and my gym sneakers.


I may have even crimped my hair.

I also told her about parachute pants and pretty much blew her mind with the concept.

When I got home that night I was thoroughly impressed with the late 90s/early 2000s knowledge that I'd imparted unto Emily.  She tweeted accordingly:

The next night Emily and I went to the Idina Menzel concert which was AMAZING.  I loved every single second of the whole experience.  In fact, I've been inspired to make a late-in-life break into showbiz.

We'd gone to the Ingrid Michaelson concert at the same venue a few weeks ago, and our fellow concert goers stood up the whole time which was unfortunate because I like to sit at a concert.

In Emily's eyes that makes me TOTALLY LAME.

But Idina took the stage and after about fifteen seconds of standing and clapping everyone returned to their seated positions and I whispered to Emily, "Whew.  Looks like this is going to be a sitting type of concert," and she said very dryly, "If there's a string section on stage, it means it's a sitting concert."

And then on the drive home I told her that I wished I'd brought binoculars AND THEN not thirty seconds later I used the phrase "hitch in my giddy up."

She officially think I'm ancient.

But I think she should be happy that I have such great taste in music.

And that I've retired my parachute pants.


Caitlin B. said...

HA, I loved this. And your taste in music. If your sister doesn't approve, I certainly do!

MilitaryPugWife said...

Lol wow you both make me feel really old.

Robyn Proctor Hinkle said...

Oh my gosh, I had to tell my nieces the other day who N'sync is/was!!! I feel your pain. I love Alanis :)

Bijoux said...

FABULOUS post!!! I love that you educated her. My husband and I seem to find people OUR AGE who either claim to have never heard of bands we loved back in the day (seriously, you're 50 and you don't know who The Cars are??) or people who have no clue about any current music (I talk about Muse and Weezer and get blank stares). Keep up with the times, folks!

tina bumblebee said...

Wait what?! She doesn't know No Scrubs?! How old is she?? That's crazy! The 18 year old employees at my work even know all that old music haha. Also, I cannot believe that you prefer to sit at concerts! I just want to dance haha. There usually aren't chairs anyway! All of these tweets are so funny. Now I'm craving Chipotle.

Brittany said...

Great job educating your sis. How could you not know no scrubs?!? Also I love her tweets. Those re pretty funny

Baby Sister said...

Hahahaha. That is hilarious, and so are her tweets. I'm proud of you for persevering and teaching her the ways of the world despite the fact that she now thinks you're ancient. :)

There's a girl that I work with that is...13 years younger than me, I think, and I'm almost to the point that I need to stop opening my mouth when I'm around her. She makes me feel SO OLD!!

Victoria said...

<3 this post!!!! Your sister's tweets are awesome!!! I have YET to really figure out twitter.

And as for your songs/descriptions/outfit choices...I'm right there with you!!! As I read about the outfit your wore to your jr high dance, I was shaking my head right down to the tennis shoes!!! I had sooo many versions of that outfit and I definitely wore them to dances. :)

And the first time that I went to a non-sitting concert, I had no idea what I was going to do. I mean...WHERE ARE THE CHAIRS?!?!?!

So. We're old. We're ancient. And kids these days just don't understand us. BUT, I get my AARP things in the mail so I know where we can get great deals on hearing aids! (I really do get AARP things! LOL!!!)

Kelli @Kellibeans said...

Cute and funny tweets, I wish I were that creative.

Good job educating your sister on all the important music, who can live without Scrubs and Country Grammar??

Michelle said...

I have no choice but to follow your sister on Twitter. I think I love you.

I am so proud of all the wisdom you imparted! And I screamed when you mentioned your 7th grade dance outfit because WE BASICALLY WORE THE SAME THING. Crimped hair and all.

Amie said...

Oh what a great reminder with all of those bands/singers you named! I'm gonna have to go listen to some of those now!

Brittany said...

Looks like your sister also has your awesome sense of humor. I instantly felt old while looking at the songs she tweets about...I think I knew three of them? Yikes. Glad you spread the good word about '90s pop, though. It's a necessary job.

Robin said...

I was just thinking about programs that use a floppy disk symbol for the "save" function, when many of today's teenagers have never used one.

Mattie @ Northwest Native said...

Hahaha this is hilarious! Candy by Mandy Moore is such a gem. I need to go listen to that immediately! I love your sisters song for every occasion tweets. I too am old. I hate standing for an entire concert. Sitting concerts are where it's at!

Liz Joiner said...

Your sister is hilarious. I can't believe how many songs match her situations :) And I haven't heard of the No Scrubs songs either, now my husband has I was just 8 or 9 when the song came out. However the rest I am very familiar with. and Miley Cyrus....well she's another story

liz sundays with sophie

Katelyn Sloan said...

Omg a floppy disk I feel like a dinosaur haha!!

Little Lynettka said...

love all those 90s pop song references!! my husband grew up in Poland and sadly missed out on many of the greats. I think we had the exact same conversation about TLC's Scrubs song... ;)

Elle Sees said...

ha--too funny!! there are 18 years between my youngest sis and i, so i get "the look" from her all the time for my references.

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

Lol her tweets are amazing! And you know I'm loving all the 90's music references :-D

IamSuperMelski said...

Lol! This is too funny! Candy by Mandy Moore was definitely one of my jams, No Scrubs, and some songs by Maya and Jessica Simpson where on my playlist ages ago. You educating your sister reminds me of my mom educating me on her type of music from her days. You guys are too cute!

emily @ a little bit of emily said...

Loving the 90's references. Such a good time!

Traci said...

Jagged Little Pill is one of the best albums of all time!! I guess I'm really old since I love NKOTB.....