Friday, July 15, 2016

cloudy with a chance of grump delivery drivers

Tuesday was Amazon prime day, and what you may or may not know is that I am married to Amazon's number one fan.  Matt's been known to order everything from peanuts to dress slacks on the old Amazon dot com.  He was so psyched for Prime Day.  It was like his Superbowl.  As expected, he made a few purchases, and thanks to the 99 bucks we shell out annually for our prime membership, his new Stanley FatMax level and My Pillow were set to arrive on Wednesday.

I didn't know we needed a new level, but I certainly knew Matt needed a new pillow.  His previous pillow could only be described as a half full (empty?) sack of flour.  It was dense, heavy, and so small that I had to fold the pillow case over and tuck it into itself when I changed the sheets because there was always about 6 inches of excess at the end.  Since we got married I've been suggesting that he buy a new one, but he insisted there was nothing wrong with his pillow and it had a perfect indent of his head in it, which is evidently a feat that took years to achieve.

And then last week his neck started to hurt and I was able to convert him to the world of the My Pillow.  I bought a My Pillow last year and it lives up to the tagline of the most comfortable pillow you'll ever own.  Plus you can wash it and dry it and when I really want to treat myself I give it a little fluff in the dryer before bed and feel as fancy as a queen.

Anyway, I worked from home on Wednesday afternoon, and it was a rainy one.  There's nothing better than a good summer rainstorm, so I lit a candle and hunkered down in my office for a productive afternoon.  My office is in the front of the house, and around 2:30 I saw a beat up white car pull up in front of our house and start honking.

I didn't recognize the car or the driver, so I assumed she was honking for a neighbor and ignored it.

And then the driver honked more aggressively, so I walked down to the front door, just as she rolled her window down and shouted, "DELIVERY!!"

I stared at her through the screen door.

"I don't want the packages to get wet in the rain!" she yelled across the yard.

I wanted to respond that the packages were going to get wet whether she carried them or I did.  And also that one of us is being paid to carry packages in the rain, and one of us is not.

But instead I did what I do in most situations with a potential conflict, and stood there silently.

It was like a game of delivery chicken.

Finally, she reluctantly carried the boxes to the door and when she got there she told me, "I was really trying not to get rained on today."

Luckily the rain did not adversely affect the My Pillow or the Stanley FatMax level.

I just checked our Amazon app to get the accurate name of the level, and do you know what our number one recommended item is?

5 Horizontal (Side-Mount) Poultry Nipples.

Well my goodness.

We still have our chickens, but to the best of my limited knowledge they have no need for side mounted poultry nipples, whatever they are.

But if we do buy them, I'll make sure it's during a week when the forecast is dry.


Brittany said...

I can't believe she would expect you to walk out and get your packages! That's insane!! I'm glad you didn't and made her do her job.

Ashley @ A Cute Angle said...

Wow, on thing I really hate is people who are lazy when it comes to their jobs. I skipped Prime Day this year because last year I was completely underwhelmed by it. Wish I would have known about the My Pillow tho! My co workers and I were just talking about those this week!


Julie said...

I would have just stood there and made her come to me as well...i mean seriously they're getting paid for it!

Rebecca Jo said...

Delivery chicken. haha.. You always crack me up.

Well bless her heart for having to do her job. People sometimes.

Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld said...

OMG I'm cracking up. Sounds WAY too much like our mail carrier... lazy, lazy, lazy! Ours is so terrible that one day I got home to find our mailbox door hanging open, and a GIANT package resting on the open door because it was too big to fit IN the mailbox and the postman was too LAZY to take it to the doorstep. Oh, and did I mention that it had been raining all day? The package, along with all of the other mail in the OPEN mailbox had gotten wet. And shortly thereafter, the mailbox door broke off because the weight of the package had damaged it. I constantly see my neighbors complaining about him on our neighborhood FB page, but no matter how many times we report him, he never gets fired. Sigh.

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

what would she have done if you weren't home? why was she in a white car? that is so weird!! what the heck, lady.
off to check out my pillow, i need a new pillow.

Emily at 'a little bit of Emily' said...

You seriously always crack me up - props to you for standing your ground! I probably would have caved. I think I need to invest in My Pillow - I have seen the commercials but never knew someone who actually had and used it!

Lauren Honeycutt said...

Wowwww...I mean, that's a special kind of RUDE! Good for you for standing your ground!

Michelle said...

This entire story is HILARIOUS. James is right there with Matt...he would buy our groceries off Amazon Prime if he could.