Monday, January 9, 2017

i have some thoughts on some things

In a stunning turn of events, the local weather forecasters barely made a peep about snow this weekend, and then on Saturday it ended up snowing all day long.  Matt ventured out in the morning to get a haircut and to buy the ingredients for a huge pot of spaghetti sauce (or as he would say, gravy) but other than that we hung out at home.  There's nothing like being home all day while it snows outside and a big pot of sauce simmers away.

On Sunday afternoon I braved the grocery store, which was twice as bad as usual because all of the typical Saturday shoppers (me) were there too.  For months I've boycotted the deli because the workers make something as simple as slicing half a pound of turkey seem like it's something as complex and time consuming as, let's say, brain surgery.  Also, the last time I ordered from the deli, my cheese looked like someone cut it with their toes WHILE DOING BRAIN SURGERY so I took a photo of it and emailed the store manager to complain.

And then the manager himself called and left me a voicemail.

Obviously I didn't call him back because what was I going to say?  The picture spoke for itself and also HOW DID I BECOME A PERSON WHO CALLS THE GROCERY STORE MANAGER TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NEATNESS AND UNIFORMITY OF HER CHEESE SLICES?

Anyway, desperate times call for a pound of Cooper Sharp cheese, so I bit the bullet and took a number.  When it was my turn I ordered my pound of cheese, waited patiently, and then the the worker handed me a package with precisely one half a pound of cheese.

I told him I ordered a pound and he said, "Oh.  My bad."

Yes sir, your bad.  YOU HAD ONE JOB.

Anyway, when I got home I made the spur of the moment decision to empty out every single kitchen cabinet and drawer and reorganize.

We have a large kitchen that consists of 22 cabinets and 13 drawers.
(This is only half of it.  Also, how do you like that wood paneling?)

Needless to say, that was a decision I regretted the moment I emptied the final cabinet, but now everything is nice and neat and in a completely different place than it was 24 hours ago.  The timing wasn't the best because I left today for a 4 day business trip, so I hope Matt can find what he needs in there.

Before I hit the road today, I went to my parents' house today to check on Pearl while they were at work.  Two weeks ago, they brought home a calm, quiet, nervous little puppy.

And since then, you could say Pearl has turned into a bit of a wild woman.

I also had a Lean Cuisine for lunch at their house.  The directions on the box said to, "Place the flatbread on the revolutionary grilling tray."

Oh, so that's what we're calling cardboard boxes now, Lean Cuisine?  How fancy.

I got to my hotel around dinnertime tonight, so I ordered takeout from the Chili's right next door and went over to pick it up. Since I was only going to the pickup window, I wore a few pieces of apparel from my relaxation collection.

That's a fancy way of saying yoga pants and a hoodie.  I'm taking a page out of Lean Cuisine's book.

Unfortunately, there was a sign at the take out window that said, "Takeout customers - please see bartender."

Even more unfortunately, not only is tonight the first night of the Pennsylvania Farm Show which happens to be in this town, but also the college football championship.  The bar was packed with farmhands and sports fans.

The bartender asked my name and then went to get my order.  And when I say she came back with my bag of food, I don't mean a tiny, ladylike, there's-probably-a-small-salad-in-here-at-most bag.  I mean a Chili's SHOPPING BAG.

The container of food was huge.  For scale, here it is next to my laptop.

I think maybe tomorrow I'll just buy a Lean Cuisine and microwave it in my room.  With the revolutionary grilling tray.

While wearing my relaxation apparel.


PicturealmostPerfect said...

I seriously love you so much, I'm constantly giggling through every post. Your timing on drawer rearranging lines up quite perfectly with mine ha it's always when the hubby will be alone oops! And I love the term relaxation collection. I will be using it from now on! I also firmly believe there is some law out there where the number of relaxation pieces you're wearing directly relates to the number of human encounters you wish you could've avoided. Have a lovely week!

Lizzie Simantz said...

Ahh I always start a huge organization project and instantly regret it too LOL But hey, at least it's done.

Courtney said...

I picked up some deli meat at Giant and came home with slivers of plastic in my turkey. Needless to say, I marched it back to customer service and got double my money back. Woot!

Also, if you're staying near the Chili's by Target, I have some good food recommendations nearby! I work in the area and get over there at least twice a week.

Kelly said...

Haha, The cheese! So funny.
I'm leaving for a work trip tomorrow and now I'm craving Chili's.
Relaxation apparel is my outfit of choice.

Heather @ Heathers Hurrah said...

Your writing is seriously the best. That's hilarious about the lean cuisine...and the relaxation apparel :) It's funny, I always regret that "bomb went off in here" step in the cupboard-cleaning process too, but it's so nice when it's done!

Rebecca Jo said...

I totally need to read boxes more closely. I totally snorted laughing at that. I'm sure we pay more for that TECHNOLOGY in a box :)

UGH - that cheese. I'm sure they thought they'd pass that off & no one would say anything. Glad you sent a picture.

Kelsey @ The Peacock Roost said...

I was cracking up throughout this whole post. The instructions on the lean cuisine paninis have always cracked me up. Like, seriously, just say stick it not the piece of silver on the cardboard. There's nothing "revolutionary" about that thing. I had the same thing happen to me with takeout locally too in no makeup, wet french braid, leggings and a jacket and I was lucky enough to run into several people I know!! Now when I go I make sure I'm looking okay to go inside if necessary!!

Amie said...

The people in the deli always seem to make it like you are asking them to mop your floors or something ya know. Girl go for the big food I say!! haha

Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld said...

You always make me laugh so much! I seriously can't believe that Lean Cuisine calls that cardboard tray that.

Emily at 'a little bit of Emily' said...

Your posts are the best. I always get that feeling when I start a big reorg - like what did I just do?! Always gets way worse before it gets better. Hope you have a good trip!

Trista @ The Classy Chaos said...

Hahaha! I love your posts. Pearl looks like she is definitely a bit of a wild woman! I wore some yoga pants and rubber boots and a sweatshirt to pick up my kid from school yesterday. You'd have thought I was wearing pajamas with the looks I got. I'm like seriously, I never do this but I didn't work today and I had the option. So there. Haha!

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

hahahahaha relaxation collection! i got my own collection too.
the cheese would drive me bonkers. i stay away from the deli because they always seem so inconvenienced and i'm like, i'm sorry - am i bothering you? my bad.

Claire said...

This is hilarious. My dad always called spaghetti sauce gravy too! He's from Upper Darby...but my mom is from Utah so it never got ingrained in me haha. I also really love the dark wood above the cabinets in your kitchen, it would make your cabinets pop if they were white, would be so pretty!

Michelle said...

I have major kitchen storage envy. We have approximately 6 cabinets and 2 drawers.

WHAT IS WITH THE CHEESE? My deli occasionally does that too! It's like they put it through a shredder before handing it to me. They always have to ask 2-3 times how many pounds I want (always 1/2).

"Apparel from my relaxation collection" is now what I'm going to call everything that belongs to the 3rd drawer of my dresser: leggings, sweatpants, and shirts too worn out to be worn in public.

Sierra @ Beautifully Candid said...

Haha relaxation apparel! I love it! And what is it with deli people? We got cheese that looked liked like that too. I was so annoyed when I got home! I should have called the store manager. And don't get me started on their interpretation of thick or thin. It's never right in my eyes. Beautifully Candid

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

I'm going to adopt relaxation apparel into my vocabulary.

Come on! That cheese was terrible, you had to call.

rooth said...

It looks like Pearl has made herself at home. Or Queen of the Home.

Brianne said...

You always crack me up. I've made similar mistakes in cleaning & organizing. It always sounds like a great idea before you start & then halfway through you're all "what was I thinking?!"

Julie said...

I've done that before - empty all out however half the time it stays out for a day or 2!

Sara Elizabeth Miller said...

I just died laughing. Between the "like someone cut it with their toes while doing brain surgery", the "revolutionary grilling tray", and the "few pieces of apparel from my relaxation apparel", I can't stop.

Happy Wednesday.

May it be even fancier than all of those things.

Cece @Mahogany Drive said...

I wish I had 22 cabinets and 13 drawers in my kitchen! I love my kitchen, but the storage space is lacking. Such an ambitious project. The cheese looks exactly the way I would cut it, but I'm not paid to cut cheese so...

Kristy Sayer-Jones @ Southern In Law said...

Here you are in snowville and I'm over here wondering what it would even feel like because I've NEVER seen real snow. Ever.

If it makes you feel any better, I'd totally complain about that cheese too. What are you even going to do with those tiny little not quite shredded not quite sliced bits? Well, you could use them if you were melting cheese for something but that's not the point.

I am now calling my "lazy clothes" my "relaxation collection". You are brilliant.

The Lady Okie said...

I love picturing you leaving and Matt trying to find things and not being able to because it's all rearranged. That sounds like something I would do! ha.

AnneMarie said...

I love your kitchen!
Also, I'm totally dying at the "apparel from my relaxation collection." That's so fantastic.

Panty Buns said...

Adorable photos of your puppy Pearl!
I also love the photos of the snowy street by you and of the kitchen.
I can identify with staying home and microwaving something - I do that all the time.
Have a wonderful 2nd half of January!

Jenny Evans said...

Wow, Lean Cuisine sure has gotten fancy!

Deena - Shoes to Shiraz said...

Oh my goodness- cutest dog ever!