On Sunday afternoon I braved the grocery store, which was twice as bad as usual because all of the typical Saturday shoppers (me) were there too. For months I've boycotted the deli because the workers make something as simple as slicing half a pound of turkey seem like it's something as complex and time consuming as, let's say, brain surgery. Also, the last time I ordered from the deli, my cheese looked like someone cut it with their toes WHILE DOING BRAIN SURGERY so I took a photo of it and emailed the store manager to complain.
And then the manager himself called and left me a voicemail.
Obviously I didn't call him back because what was I going to say? The picture spoke for itself and also HOW DID I BECOME A PERSON WHO CALLS THE GROCERY STORE MANAGER TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NEATNESS AND UNIFORMITY OF HER CHEESE SLICES?
Anyway, desperate times call for a pound of Cooper Sharp cheese, so I bit the bullet and took a number. When it was my turn I ordered my pound of cheese, waited patiently, and then the the worker handed me a package with precisely one half a pound of cheese.
I told him I ordered a pound and he said, "Oh. My bad."
Yes sir, your bad. YOU HAD ONE JOB.
Anyway, when I got home I made the spur of the moment decision to empty out every single kitchen cabinet and drawer and reorganize.
We have a large kitchen that consists of 22 cabinets and 13 drawers.
(This is only half of it. Also, how do you like that wood paneling?)
Needless to say, that was a decision I regretted the moment I emptied the final cabinet, but now everything is nice and neat and in a completely different place than it was 24 hours ago. The timing wasn't the best because I left today for a 4 day business trip, so I hope Matt can find what he needs in there.
Before I hit the road today, I went to my parents' house today to check on Pearl while they were at work. Two weeks ago, they brought home a calm, quiet, nervous little puppy.
And since then, you could say Pearl has turned into a bit of a wild woman.
I also had a Lean Cuisine for lunch at their house. The directions on the box said to, "Place the flatbread on the revolutionary grilling tray."
Oh, so that's what we're calling cardboard boxes now, Lean Cuisine? How fancy.
I got to my hotel around dinnertime tonight, so I ordered takeout from the Chili's right next door and went over to pick it up. Since I was only going to the pickup window, I wore a few pieces of apparel from my relaxation collection.
That's a fancy way of saying yoga pants and a hoodie. I'm taking a page out of Lean Cuisine's book.
Unfortunately, there was a sign at the take out window that said, "Takeout customers - please see bartender."
Even more unfortunately, not only is tonight the first night of the Pennsylvania Farm Show which happens to be in this town, but also the college football championship. The bar was packed with farmhands and sports fans.
The bartender asked my name and then went to get my order. And when I say she came back with my bag of food, I don't mean a tiny, ladylike, there's-probably-a-small-salad-in-here-at-most bag. I mean a Chili's SHOPPING BAG.
The container of food was huge. For scale, here it is next to my laptop.
I think maybe tomorrow I'll just buy a Lean Cuisine and microwave it in my room. With the revolutionary grilling tray.
While wearing my relaxation apparel.