The past few days have been especially rainy, and I'm currently looking out at a pool of standing water in our backyard thanks to poor drainage. It's not quite as bad (yet) as the Presidents' Day Flood of 2016, which necessitated a call to the police department.
Anyway, a few weeks ago it poured all weekend. When there was finally a break in the deluge, Matt went out to the chicken coop in the back of our yard because it appeared from the kitchen window there might have been a slight flood.
While he was out back, the doorbell rang. I answered because I thought it might be a neighbor in need of storm-related help. Because don't your neighbors walk to your house and ring your doorbell during a rainstorm?
Mine never have, but there's a first time for everything.
It turns out that it was not a neighbor, but a Verizon sales rep who wanted to inform me that Verizon lines were recently installed in our neighborhood and would I like to sign up for Fios? The conversation felt like a full circle moment, because last year when Verizon started their installation process, I called the police department because of a suspicious low-hanging wire.
We canceled our Comcast cable last year, and haven't really missed it, but we'd seen few commercials for Verizon Fios and casually talked about trying it. I told the sales rep that I wanted to talk to my husband before I signed up for anything. He asked if he was home, and I said yes, but that he was very busy out in the backyard.
The man stood there, in the driving rain, and looked at me like I was crazy. I was almost positive he was thinking, "Wow, that's a lame and truly unbelievable response."
So, because I'm an over-explainer and was feeling judged by his suspicious look, I said, "He really is out in the backyard. He's back there because we have chickens. And he had to check on the coop in all this rain and wind. And anyway we don't even have cable right now so we aren't in a rush to sign up."
He cautiously stepped away.
I should have told him I had to get back to my butter churning.
Fast forward to yesterday, another day of downpours. After work, Matt got dressed in his waterproof full body camo hunting gear and went out back to "check on the yard."
And as soon as he walked outside, the doorbell rang.
I answered it because AGAIN, what if it was a neighbor experiencing storm-related distress, but this time it was two salesmen from, ironically, a solar panel company. They told me I looked young to be the homeowner and I was so flattered that I listened to the first few minutes of their spiel about a federal mandate and no cost to the homeowner and blah blah blah, and then they started asking the hard hitting questions.
Questions like do we receive our bills electronically or on paper, and how many kilowatt hours of power do we use monthly?
Well, I haven't the foggiest.
I told them Matt pays the bill and would know all of our stats, and they asked if he had a moment to talk. I said he was busy in the backyard but I'd pass along their information. And then again, because I over-explain and who hangs out in the backyard in the rain, I said, "I know it's really rainy out, but he's outside because we have chickens and a poor drainage, so he's checking on things."
One of the guys asked if he could look in the yard to see if he could see him, and I told him to be my guest. He peeked around the side of the house and then said, "Are you sure he's back there? I don't see anyone!"
Well, sir, what I didn't mention was that he is dressed completely in camouflage.
Which I guess is working.
Then the guys thought I was really nuts and lying about my husband being in the backyard during a rainstorm, so I told them I'd look for him. I ran to the dining room so I could simultaneously look out the kitchen window while keeping an eye on the front door and making sure the men didn't come inside and make a break for my jewelry box in a tricky heist.
But I peeked out that window to see if I could see Matt, and there he was, in the pouring rain, in all his camouflaged glory, HOLDING A SHOVEL AND DIGGING A GIANT HOLE NEXT TO OUR SHED.
I couldn't tell the salesmen that I found him digging a hole, because I thought they might end up calling the police on us.
So I just told them we wouldn't be making a decision on solar panels today, also, IT HAS RAINED FOR A THOUSAND DAYS SO I'M NOT QUITE READY TO RELY SOLELY ON THE SUNSHINE TO POWER MY LIFE.
When Matt came inside I filled him in on the solar panel visitors and questioned why in the world he was digging a hole? He said water was starting to collect under his shed so he constructed a makeshift trench.
All I have to say is the next time it rains, I am not answering the door.
Unless it's someone selling backyard drainage systems.