Wednesday, September 13, 2017

matt can blame cold medicine for his faux-pas. i've got no excuse.

I ran to Target last night because I heard their home decor was on clearance to make room for the new line by Chip and Joanna Gaines.  Also, Matt is in the throes of a terrible cold, so I had to re-stock on the necessities.

Reese's peanut butter cups and wine.

Oh and Theraflu.

After work yesterday I sniffled a little bit and Matt said, "Oh, no.  Are you coming down with the same cold?  I'll prep you with the timeline.  You will feel sick for one week, and then the normalization process will begin, and you can expect that to take about 3 weeks."

So by my calculation that means the common cold will knock him out for an entire month.  And also, what is the "normalization process?"  Matt invented an on the spot explanation that it has something to do with taste buds regenerating and overall recovery going from 90% to 100%.  That last 10% is, apparently, no joke.

Matt said the cold medicine made him feel better, but tonight he started with some labored (and dramatic) breathing, and said, "Uh-oh, you know what this means.  My areolas aren't working properly."

Whoa boy.  That's a WHOLE different kind of illness.

I cracked up and said "I don't think areola is the word you're looking for!" 


 "Maybe not," he said, "but I know it starts with 'a' and ends with an 'ola.'


"I think you mean alveoli," I said.  One entire year of college nursing, all paid off in that moment.


"That's it!"  he said, "I knew it was another Italian word."
Tonight we laughed at one of Matt's mistake, but last week we were laughing at one of mine.  We have been talking constantly about the devastating hurricanes in Texas and Florida.  Just last weekend when we ripped the drywall out of our kitchen and I was tempted to complain because it was messy and dusty and tedious, I thought about all those people in Texas ripping drywall out of their homes because they'd been completely flooded, and here I was ripping it out to get a brand new kitchen.

Anyway, we were talking about the three active hurricanes: Irma, Jose, and Katia.  I remarked about how I could not believe Katia was already well into the gulf, while her alphabetical predecessors, Irma and Jose, were still way out in the Atlantic.


"I just don't understand how Katia got so far past them.  That must be one fast moving storm," I pondered.

Matt looked at me quizzically.  "It's because Katia formed in the gulf.  You know hurricanes can form all over the place, right?  There is no universal starting line, it's not a race."

Well, hmm.  I'd never thought about in that respect.  I always imagined there was in fact a starting line for hurricanes, and it was the bottom right of my television screen.


I guess we should leave the tough stuff to the experts.

22 comments:

Emily at 'a little bit of Emily' said...

Your stories are ALWAYS the best!

Maureen @ Maureen Gets Real said...

That's so funny Matt got the word wrong. I can not wait to see Chip & Joanna's line in Target! I didn't know home decor was on sale so it looks like I'll have to check it out and see if I can snag anything on a good deal.

Brianne said...

LOL you 2 are hilarious. I'm glad to now have a timeline for all of my future colds.

Dara @ Not In Jersey said...

I'm pretty sure I thought the same thing about hurricanes. Good thing you explained it here!

Kelly said...

Ha! You crack me up every time.
I have to side with Matt here that I think it DOES take a long time to recover that last 10% from a cold!

rooth said...

To be fair, a large majority of hurricanes that come off the Atlantic do form off the coast of Mauritania and Senegal... so you're kind of right!

Audrey Louise said...

Laughing SO hard about the areola mix up. That's amazing.

It's called "man flu" for a reason... When I had a cold (for a mere 3 days, mind you) I was praying HARD that K didn't get it. I can't handle a month of playing nurse right now. Hahahaha.

SMD @ lifeaccordingtosteph said...

Ah hahaha I'd be talking about the areola / alveiola forever

Lindsay at Lindsay'sSweetWorld said...

Hahahaha!! Y'all always crack me up. And you know, I think Matt may have a point with the whole normalizaton process... it does take a while to get back on track! ANd not being able to taste my food is the worst part!

Rebecca Jo said...

In your defense, it does seem like they all follow in order, one behind another in a line...like good school children, who turn into big bullies.

Michelle said...

Hahaha! These are HILARIOUS. I bet Matt was out of his mind with all those hurricanes! I know I was. I don't even know what to do with myself now that there's no major weather event to track.

lauren alford design said...

oh gosh! poor guy hahaha! I am starting to realize that sometimes I am sick for weeks at a time too... like not missing work or anything, but those "colds" can last a while!

Shea Sayers said...

I never really thought about it but I think I thought they all started around the same place too. That is too funny. And your husband's "areola" comment cracked me up!

Martha Hokenson said...

Ha, poor Matt! I hope you don't catch his cold!

I honestly had no idea hurricanes didn't all form at the same spot out in the ocean! Oh well, now I've learned something new...

Erica Stafford - The Second House on the Right said...

You have the best stories! Your instastory the other day about Matt posting your address on Craig's list and people driving slowly by your house cracked me up! Man Sick is THE worst kind of sick ever!

Nadine Lynn said...

I hope MAtt's areola is better hahahahahahahahaha. The man cold is serious business though. I remember when two days before I went into labor, and could barely get myself around I was so uncomfortable and Chris came down with the cold. And I drove him to the doctor and was walking around the store picking up the things he needed and when I got home that night catering to his every need and him saying something about his nose running and not feeling well and I was like...yup. This is why woman carry babies. Men cant even carry a little extra mucus. Sheesh.

Lostvestige said...

Hahaha, the cold timeline, that's hilarious!! I must admit, I think I did have a moment of confusion when I first heard about Katia and thought, "hang on, how did it get over there so fast?!"

Jalisa Giron said...

Haha, too funny, girl! I hope he feels better and that you don't end up with the cold ;)

XO,
Jalisa
THE STYLE CONTOUR

Christina said...

LOL at bottom right of my television screen! You guys are too funny and I love that you can laugh AT each other. ;)

Christina said...

Also, I think that cold timeline is for men only. You'll probably be back to 100% in eight days.

Hilary said...

I just read that whole post, but I'm stuck on the whole - Target has home stuff on sale to make room for the Gaines' line - part. Is that true? Did you score any good stuff? Spending money on home goods is the last thing I need to do right now, but I can always use Target home goods!

Marie said...

You two are so funny...love the cold timeline. Men are such babies when it comes to a cold. It's like they have the plague.