Monday, March 5, 2012

looking the part

It should come as a surprise to approximately nobody that Michelle and I are not what you would call gifted in the tool department.  Oh sure, we have enough knowledge to get by, but don't be fooled by the fact that we hung this very large, heavy picture ALL BY OURSELVES without the aid of a level or a man.


Because there are eight very uneven picture hangers and six feet of wire behind this poorly hung piece of bargain Bed Bath & Beyond artwork.

We encourage all visitors to SIT WITH CAUTION on that couch. 

And I can understand why someone might assume that the person who hung this mirror so expertly on the door frame to be a TOOL EXPERT.

But what really happened is that Michelle came home right before I started the mirror installation process, and I told her that my game plan was to just screw this bad boy into the door frame and call it a day.  And then she asked how you know if you are supposed to screw something into the wall or nail it.

Well, hmm.

I'm sure there's a universal rule of thumb, but I tend to just operate by the "grab whichever is closest" method, and it has served me well thus far.  In other words, that mirror is still securely attached to my door frame and I can get a 360 degree view of my hair whenever I please. 
Despite the fact that Michelle and I may not know how to use all of our tools, we own a plethora of them.

In fact, this is a picture of our tool shelf.

 I have no explanation for the hot rollers and their presence on the designated tool shelf.  Although let's be honest, they are a tool in their own right.

And I realize that the snowman gift bag may seem like an unlikely container for tools.  I would not disagree, but I would bet that no other hammers in Pennsylvania have such a cheery, seasonally appropriate place to call home.

Since I have moved into my own apartment, I have incorporated a new question in my typical conversation when I go back home.  And that question is, "So do you guys have anything that you're trying to get rid of?"

And asking that one simple question has provided me with several things over the last few months, including but not limited to a giant bottle of windshield washer fluid, two tilapia filets, yankee candle coupons, a tupperware of coffee grounds, a candle holder, pork, and a gallon of liquid fabric softener.

 So, you know, SCORE.

I stopped by the house the other night and before I even had a chance to ask my standard question, my dad said, "Oh! I left something on the fireplace for you!"

And just like that I became the proud owner of an OFFICIAL tool bag.

I think somehow my dad must have known that we were keeping our screwdrivers in a pale blue snowman gift bag.

Well, no longer!  Because now our tools reside in this professional, totally legit tool bag. And while we may not be able to correctly utilize each tool in this bag, we certainly look like we know what we're doing.

And isn't that half the battle?

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where's the plunger? A plunger is as essential as a hammer.

Miss Amy said...

Very official with your tool bag!! :) haha! Nice work!

Vanisha @ Vanishas Life In...Australia said...

I don't think I own any tools! Maybe I should start a collection, feeling a little left out! ;)

the plaid sparrow said...

This made me giggle a bit! ;)
Thanks for sharing.
PS. I would be afraid to sit on the couch by the sound of it. It does look good though!

much love, colie

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Haha! I love it. I got one of those pink tool sets last year that comes in a box. I have still yet to open it!

Baby Sister said...

Nut? Screw? I don't know when to use what either. And I think I like the snowman bag better. :)