I am so happy that tomorrow is Thursday. This week has gotten better each day, but I will be honest. This week and I did not start off on good terms. I'm not one of those people who hates Mondays. I mean, I'm not jumping for joy when the alarm goes off, but in general I accept them because they come around every seven days and CARPE DIEM and all that.
Until two days ago. Two days ago I suffered from a bad case of The Mondays. The first hour or so was fairly pleasant, but then I arrived at work and had to stare reality STRAIGHT IN THE FACE. And the reality was that I apparently did A LOT of talking at work last Thursday and Friday and not a whole lot of working.
That meant that I had a lot of little things to finish up because last week I put conversations about lip stain vs. lip stick and hypothetical breakfast food combinations before actual work, and OH, A LESSON I DID LEARN.
I also learned that Cover Girl makes the best lip stain and that a toasted flatbread, turkey bacon, and peanut butter is an unexpectedly delicious breakfast, so I guess it wasn't a total loss.
By 10:00 on Monday I was making some solid work-related progress and was feeling SUPER FOCUSED AND NOT ONE BIT DISTRACTED BY THOUGHTS OF MAKEUP OR MEALS, when I had to unexpectedly go to a court hearing. Normally that would not be a problem. However, when I got dressed on Monday morning I made the poor decision to sport these bad boys.
And despite what is portrayed on The People's Court with Judge Marilyn Milian (weekday afternoons at 2!) you're not really supposed to wear leopard print high heels in the courtroom.
Especially when you're the paralegal.
Unfortunately I didn't have an extra, more understated pair on hand, so my shoes and I headed over to the courthouse where I sat in the back of the courtroom and thought about how untrue the quote, "Confidence is your best accessory" really is.
The saying should actually be, "A sensible pair of plain black high heels is your best accessory" BUT WHO AM I TO REWRITE HISTORY?
My leopard kicks and I got back to the office just in time for lunch, which delighted me because if there's one thing that can put a smile on my face it's a solid meal. I sat down at my desk and took a giant spoonful of yogurt and almost got sick.
I looked at the label on the container.
Black forest cake flavored yogurt.
Yogurt was on sale 10 for $10 on Sunday, so I BOUGHT TEN OF COURSE. I must have gotten so caught up in the low price excitement that I just grabbed the first ten containers without reading the flavors, because out of the ten yogurts that I purchased, eight were flavored like baked goods.
Call me crazy, but if I want to eat something that tastes like a Boston Creme Pie, I want to actually eat A SLICE OF BOSTON CREME PIE. The same goes for lemon meringue pie, key lime pie, and peach cobbler, all of which are yogurt flavors that I have eaten this week.
I toughed my way through the black forest cake yogurt, encouraged by the fact that there was a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of a delicious banana in my lunchbox for my snack. I bought a fresh bunch when I was at the store on Sunday, so imagine my dismay when I pulled this out of my lunch box.
Apparently when you store a banana in the fridge, it turns brown almost immediately.
Now I know.
Even though this poor banana appeared to be several days past its prime, I still ate it and it tasted normal inside. I was disappointed though, because everyone knows that a banana with brown skin kind of loses its APPEEL!
See what I did there?
I didn't just purchase an ill-fated banana and yogurt masquerading as delectable desserts at the food store on Sunday. Oh no. I also purchased a container of fresh salsa. And since I was UNDERSTANDABLY STARVING after work on Monday, I opened the container as soon as I got home and as I did, I came up with the brilliant idea to add some of my cilantro to the salsa for a little extra kick!
I haven't used any cilantro yet, so when I opened it up and saw what it looked like, I thought SWEET! BONUS! IT'S NOT JUST CILANTRO, IT HAS CARROTS AND GARLIC TOO!!!!!!! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST SALSA EVER!!!!!! I AM SO LUCKY AND SUCH A GREAT SPICE SHOPPER!!!!
Upon further inspection, I realized it was not orange and tan because it contained carrots and garlic. No. It was moldy.
All jokes aside, I actually am really confused about what happened with this cilantro. It had never been opened and the package said it was good until SEPTEMBER 2013! I found it in the cooler section at the store, so I put it in the fridge when I got home and I'm thinking that may be where things went south.
I immediately disposed of the moldy cilantro, and I am happy to report that my life has been mishap-free since Monday evening.
Of course, that may have a little something to do with the fact that I have worn plain back shoes.
And eaten Hot Pockets.