Friday, June 3, 2016

time to buy stock in centrum silver

Matt leaves for the office every morning at 6:30 and typically gets home around 6:00 in the evening. He walks in that door at 6:00 looking every bit as spiffy and pressed and put together as he did when he walked out eleven and a half hours earlier.

I, on the other hand, leave for the office around 8 and by 11:30 my hair is flat, my makeup doesn't look nearly as good as I thought it did when I applied it three hours earlier, and I've gotten a run in my stockings.

I'm very conflicted about the issue of stockings because I know they're so 1993, but I cannot bring myself to put my bare feet in my high heels.

However, when Matt came home from work on Thursday night he didn't look like his normal spiffy self and I could immediately tell that something was wrong.

He walked into the kitchen and solemnly announced his hardship.

He had a stiff neck.

Dinner was just about ready so he VERY GINGERLY took his seat at the table.  He went to great lengths to bring fork all the way up his mouth so as to not bend his neck even a tiny bit, and even had to drink out of a straw.  Halfway through his pork chop there was a noise in the backyard and he turned slowly at his waist and looked off into the yard and said, "What's all that ruckus out there?"

And just like that I felt like my life fast forward about 60 years.

I was sympathetic to Matt's neck pain but when he started dramatically singing an original piece entitled "The Pain, The Suffering, The Agony" his histrionics made me laugh and even he could not keep a straight face.  He threw in a few musical terms and then we started talking about our musical pasts.

He played the saxophone for a few years and I was in the grade school choir.

And believe it or not I remembered quite a few songs from those grade school years, including but not limited to "One Small Step" and "Turn the Lights On!" COMPLETE WITH HAND MOTIONS.

I also remembered every word to a Latin song we sang in second grade at First Holy Communion, which is amazing to me because for the life of my I can't remember to buy milk at the store or the password to my email account, but I know every word to Jubilate Deo Omnis Terra Servite Domino in Laetitia from 20 years ago.

I performed a few grade school choir classics as we loaded the dishwasher.  The motions to One Small Step involved some foot stomping, and I think I stomped a bit too enthusiastically because I'm sorry to say my left foot has not been the same since Thursday night.

On the upside, my internal stockings conflict may be resolved because I think there might be an orthopedic boot in my future.


Martha Woods said...

This made me laugh! I definitely feel older than my years some days. I know what you mean about memory, I can remember what I wore to a piano recital when I was 11 years old but I pause every time someone asks me for my phone number. My own phone number! Ugh.

Leslie said...

LOL, my husband and I also act like we are a million years old. We have a seven month old and our lives have literally turned into one giant sing-a-long. I will have to add "Turn the Lights On". I don't remember all the hand movements, but I do oddly know all the words...

P!nky said...

So funny, hope he's feeling better nw.

Evelina said...

My memory is the exact same! I remember the most random things from my childhood but not what I had for dinner yesterday. And your stocking conflict totally reminds me of the quote from Steel Magnolias: "These thighs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14." "You were brought up right." LOLLLL

Marie said...

hahaaha ruckus! I haven't heard that word in forever. I love it. Hope he is feeling better. A stiff neck is no joke.

Liz Jo said...

Sometimes I feel like this........and I'm younger than Matt. It's time to get my AARP membership haha.

Is he feeling better today?

liz @ j for joiner

Sarah said...

I wear stockings and will most likely continue to until the day I die. I CANNOT stand my feet sticking to my shoes.

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

haha i like to wear stockings with dresses or skirts just because i feel more secure. but they annoy me when i get a run in them. and seriously this morning i was looking at my hair 5 minutes after i did it and i was like dang my hair is cute. by the time i got to work, it was completely flat and very uncute. not fair.

The Lady Okie said...

Stockings?! LOL. I don't like the feeling of stockings and heels. ha! Hope he's feeling better!

Amy said...

When I am injured, I am Matt.