Last week Emily and I were in the store and a display of Vita Coco just happened to catch my eye.
Within seconds I had pretty much convinced myself that Vita Coco and I were going to have a lovely, refreshing summer together as girl and beverage. And as a bonus, it seemed super healthy because everyone knows that putting “vita” in front of something instantaneously increases the nutritional credibility.
I wish there was such a thing as “Vita Doritos.”
When we got home I proudly showed my mom my purchase, and she said, “Laura, do you even like coconut?”
The answer to that would be no. No, I don’t.
However, the only place I really encounter coconut is on/in some type of cake, in which case the main reason I dislike it is due to the strange, papery texture it brings to an otherwise delightful baked good. I do, however, just LOVE the way that coconut scented shampoos/soaps/suntan lotions smell.
So I guess the bottom line here is that I was hoping coconut water would taste the way coconut shampoo smells.
I am here to tell you that it doesn’t. Not at all. Not even close. One sip of Vita Coco and, in the words of Celine, our love has ended before it's begun.
It seemed like such a shame to let all that Vita Coco go to waste though, but Emily didn't let me down. She carried on our charming tradition of trying to get Phil to eat gross things by convincing him that they are indeed delicious foods. So far we have presented him with a ball of candle waxmasquerading as white chocolate, and an Oreo filled with minty fresh Crest toothpaste. He caught on immediately to both of those tricks, but hope springs eternal, again, so Emily the other night Emily filled up a glass with this cloudy, yellowish/white liquid and presented it to Phil.
Turns out he was very suspicious. I can't imagine why.
My advice to you is this: If anyone ever offers you Vita Coco, run far, and run fast.
Unless, of course, you enjoy coconut. Then by all means, give it a shot.