i'm holding out for vita sweet tea

Last week Emily and I were in the store and a display of Vita Coco just happened to catch my eye.

Within seconds I had pretty much convinced myself that Vita Coco and I were going to have a lovely, refreshing summer together as girl and beverage.  And as a bonus, it seemed super healthy because everyone knows that putting “vita” in front of something instantaneously increases the nutritional credibility.

I wish there was such a thing as “Vita Doritos.”

When we got home I proudly showed my mom my purchase, and she said, “Laura, do you even like coconut?”

The answer to that would be no.  No, I don’t. 

However, the only place I really encounter coconut is on/in some type of cake, in which case the main reason I dislike it is due to the strange, papery texture it brings to an otherwise delightful baked good.  I do, however, just LOVE the way that coconut scented shampoos/soaps/suntan lotions smell.   

So I guess the bottom line here is that I was hoping coconut water would taste the way coconut shampoo smells.

I am here to tell you that it doesn’t.  Not at all.  Not even close.  One sip of Vita Coco and, in the words of Celine, our love has ended before it's begun.

It seemed like such a shame to let all that Vita Coco go to waste though, but Emily didn't let me down.  She carried on our charming tradition of trying to get Phil to eat gross things by convincing him that they are indeed delicious foods.  So far we have presented him with a ball of candle waxmasquerading as white chocolate, and an Oreo filled with minty fresh Crest toothpaste.  He caught on immediately to both of those tricks, but hope springs eternal, again, so Emily the other night Emily filled up a glass with this cloudy, yellowish/white liquid and presented it to Phil. 

Turns out he was very suspicious.  I can't imagine why.

My advice to you is this:  If anyone ever offers you Vita Coco, run far, and run fast. 

Unless, of course, you enjoy coconut.  Then by all means, give it a shot.


Jessica said…
Like you, I love the way coconut smells, but am not at all a fan of the taste!

Jeanine said…
LOL. Love this post. You make me laugh! I sure would have thought it would be sweeter and tastier...but I have had my share of let downs when it comes to great packaging and tasty sounding goodies and then only to find out––horrrors––they taste HORRIBLE!...

haha oh well...

Sara said…
LOL this is SO true!! I adore everything about coconut smells... beachy shampoo, white candles and spf days. I even drink pina coladas like they're going out of style & lol coconut milk in thai food. But there is something so funny about shaved coconut or straight coconut water... no good.
Jo said…
I'm with you! Not a fan of this stuff, and I actually am a fan of coconuts. I was at a EP release party and they were giving this stuff out and using it as a mix for "adult beverages". Even adding alcohol to this could not save it. :)
Anna Walker said…
Hahahah that's so funny! :D
I've had coconut milk before and it is gross! BUT I actually do like real coconuts, in baked goods, on frozen yogurt. ECT.

Eleanor said…
thanks for your comment on my blog! come back soon :)
I wanted to love this stuff. And I actually do like coconut...but it didn't taste like coconut..or like anything good at all. It's gross! I was so bummed.
i love your blog! its very funny and smart :) how is The Wedding by Sparks I just bought it and haven't dug in yet! i have high hopes!
oh following btw, follow back if you'd like. and i dont like that drink either lol. too sweet for me.
J+S said…
Thanks for your sweet comments today. And this post has me laughing hysterically. Thank you for saving me the trouble of finding out for myself that coconut water does NOT taste as delicious as coconut shampoo smells. :)

Caitlin C. said…
I seriously had this EXACT SAME THING happen to me like two months ago! I saw VitaCoco at the grocery store, and I had heard so much about how good it was for you, all the health benefits, etc. but after one tiny sip, I had to throw it away. It was easily the most disgusting drink I've ever had! I'm so glad I'm not the only one that thought so!!!!
stephanie said…
I love coconut anything but coconut milk? Not so much. I'll be steering clear of it :)
For real, I did the exact same thing. I got a coconut water but a different brand and thought oh this is going to be so great. I couldn't even finish the thing and it was a single serving!!! It tasted awful!
The relationship I have with coconut is based on love and hate - I love the taste of it, especially in coconut rice and from a fresh fruit, but I hate the scents in shampoos and lotions. Quite the opposite from you :)
I have yet to try the vita coco, though... the package looks very yummy!

Thanks for stopping by my blog. :) I've been looking through yours and really enjoy reading your entries. Mind if I follow you?

Have a blessed Monday!
Allison said…
I'm not a huge fan of coconut either, but good for you for giving it a whirl! I love your blog and was very entertained by your last post about authors. Now following along. :)
Grace said…
That's good to know; I'd been wanting to try Vita Coco, but I don't like coconut, so that's probably not a good idea. It does smell amazing, though!
Melissa Jo said…
I've debated trying it or not, and now I'm definitely not! Thanks for the warning!
Girl, I'm with ya! I keep hearing about how good coconut water is for you, full of electrolytes, blah blah blah. I grabbed some to sip on after the gym one day and almost spit it back out. And, the texture of coconut drives me up the wall anyway. Ick ick ick. At least we tried?
HA! You crack me up. You were an optimistic Vita-Coco purchaser and I love that. I have tried it once, and I liked it (but I love coconut). People always have a strong opinion on coconut, don't they? Either love it or hate it.
Nikki said…
Haha! You're right it doesn't taste anything like coconut, but it grows on you. I drink them after hot yoga to replenish electrolytes. I used to get headaches after but coconut water seems to tame it. Great for a hangover too ;)
AH said…
lol! This post is too funny! I love coconut! Anything you can put coconut in I'm game for!
a!k0 said…
LOL :D awww, I use to hate coconuts too but recently I have been enjoying fresh coconut drink and it's delicious!!! :D You need some real coconuts to refresh your day!!! ;)


Baby Sister said…
It's too bad most things don't taste more like the smell. Because really that would open up a lot of options.