In college everyone said that the weekend started on Thursday. I wasn't a huge party person in college, so my Thursdays typically consisted of a solid meal at the dining commons and a trip to Target. And studying of course, Mom and Dad.
You may think a Thursday couldn't get more boring than that. Well, let me introduce you to December 20, 2012.
On Thursday I got the oil changed in my car, went to the eye doctor, and had my teeth cleaned. I also paid my car insurance, renter's insurance, and life insurance. The day pretty much screamed THIS IS THE THURSDAY OF A GROWN UP, RESPONSIBLE INDIVIDUAL.
However, I did learn the hard way that it's not wise to schedule all of those expen$ive events for the same week. Especially when that week is the one right before Christmas.
Nice to see you for three seconds, paycheck.
I got my oil changed on my lunch hour so that I could make it to my eye doctor appointment right after work. This was my first time seeing this doctor, so I sat down in the chair and told him what kind of contacts I wear. And that's when he said, "Oh. Whoa. You're what we in the biz like to call "three finger vision test patients. I'm not even going to put the letters on the screen, cause you're never gonna see them. How many fingers am I holding up?"
Well. That was a new low.
I got out of there with just enough time to swing by my parents' house to brush my teeth one last time before I went to the dentist.
Let me just say that as far as dental patients go, I consider myself slightly above average. Admittedly, I do not floss enough, but I brush my teeth twice a day. I don't eat or drink a lot of sugary things, I am no stranger to a bottle of mouthwash, and I am religious about keeping my six month cleaning appointments.
And so, when I go to the dentist, I just want to lay quietly in the chair while my teeth are polished and x-rayed. I do not want to be the recipient of a lecture about bio-film and tartar and gingivitis, none of which I have. Unfortunately that's exactly what happened on Thursday night, and the hygienist spent almost the entirety of the appointment preaching to the dental choir.
The only time she was not lecturing me on all things dental disease related was when she looked in my mouth and said "WHOA! Are you planning to get a retainer, or are you just going to leave everything 'as is'?"
I opened my eyes and looked up at her. "Umm. As is, thank you very much."
I think she felt a little bad after that because she said "Not that there's anything wrong with 'as is' of course! That's not what I meant! You have a gorgeous smile."
A gorgeous smile that could stand to meet a retainer, apparently.
I was hopeful that things would look up when the dentist came in, but they didn't.
He looked at the info sheet that I updated before my appointment and asked me about my job as a paralegal. I told him about the (government-related) job that I have and enjoy and he said, ""Oh. So I guess no private law firms are hiring?"
I started out my evening of appointments feeling like a million bucks, and finished it feeling like a major underachiever with poor vision who could benefit from some orthodontia.
It was a long drive home.
At least my car had fresh oil.
And comprehensive, up to date insurance.