Tuesday, February 9, 2016

at least i didn't write crossfit

I had a doctor's appointment first thing Monday morning, and when I checked in, the receptionist handed me an updated patient information form to complete.

I LOVE filling out forms like that, and the questions started out pretty basic.  Do you wear your seat belt in the car?  Do you smoke?  Has your insurance information changed?

And then, I got to the question "Do you exercise?"

I wrote "yes."

The next question was "If yes, how often?"

I wrote "three times per week."

The next question was "What type of exercise?"

And here is where I cannot explain what sort of dishonest, self-inflated athletic version of myself took over, but before I realized what was happening, I'd written "jogging."


My mom and I walk moderately paced laps around the local mall every few days.  That is the extent of my exercise routine.

In fact, I jog so infrequently that I can remember the last time it happened.  It was Memorial Day weekend TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN.  Michelle and I had rented a place down the shore and had to catch the jitney to the bar. and we jogged about a block to the jitney pick up stop.

But there, in ink, on an official medical document, I claimed I was a jogger.  I panicked for a few seconds.  I certainly couldn't cross it out and write "walking," because that would look dumb.  I also couldn't ask the receptionist for a new form due to grossly exaggerating my exercise level, so I just left it there and hoped that the doctor wouldn't choose to question me about my jogging habits.

And thankfully, she didn't say a word about it.

But I feel like I should jog this week.

Although, maybe I should wait until Memorial Day.  Why break tradition?


emily @ a little bit of emily said...

This is great. The jogging is too funny...I find myself doing that in conversations sometimes, like oh, that sounds good or I like that, but in reality after the fact, I am like why did I say that? I guess it's part of hating any type of disagreement and being a people pleaser. You do sound like you have some mad skills, for sure a mini Jojo!

Julie said...

Questions like those make you think!!

Emily said...

I was at the doctor's yesterday and put no to smoking. The woman goes, "That includes marijuana." I say, "Okay. It's still no!." She gave me the weirdest look! Rude.

Hope you had a nice jog this morning! ;)

Marie said...

I hate going to the doctor's, I'm always so paranoid that they totally think I'm crazy. Last time I was there, I was like do I have cancer?? My dr was like No, you have pneumonia and it was hell!

Whitney Leigh said...

I had to fill out a form like that for my dentist because I wasn't on my parent's insurance anymore. It asked for the account holder name, which was my own, and then it asked, "Relationship to account holder?" And I sat there like, "It's me...." So I wrote, "Soulmate." And then I stared at it and was like, "Why. Why did I do that."

Only, I wasn't lucky and they DID bring it up. haha We all had a good laugh about it, though.

Liz Jo said...

Haha! I jog often. If you want to know how often, at least once a year. Don't worry I think we all do that on important paperwork.

Also, it may seem like it's consuming your life now, but seriously, your house is looking so good just from that one picture of the change. I cannot wait to see the rest of your house re-done. I wish we had the determination and conviction to do that, but we just don't. Not with a child around.

liz @ j for joiner

Michelle said...

I love filling out those forms, too! There is something about those forms that makes you lie, because I've done it too. I won't tell if you won't.

Kristen @ See You In A Porridge said...

i love filling out those forms but i always feel paranoid i am doing something wrong or lying.. i'm like wait, i need more room because i don't exercise 3-4 times a week EVERY week sometimes i do 1 or none or 6 like, there isn't enough room for that! and the family history one always gets me because i don't know one side of my family history at all, so i'm always like 'i could be lying but i don't actually know'.

AiringMyLaundry said...

Haha. See, I do jog, but I wouldn't say I was a "jogger" because I'm pretty dang slow. And the way I breathe when I do it is probably not healthy.

Rachel said...

Unlike you, I absolutely despise those forms. I always feel like who are you to require such personal information? I don't want to talk about this stuff!

Evelina said...

Those forms are the worst! I usually write that I do the stairs because I sometimes choose to go down one floor to use the bathroom while I'm at work. Like when all the stalls in the upstairs bathroom are taken.

Rachel McCarthy said...

Haha!! This is so funny! I get so nervous when filling out these forms! The one time I was filling it out, all I saw was "recreation" thinking exercise. So I put yes! Then, as I was checking over my answers, I realized it actually said "recreational drug use" hahaha! I was like oh my gosh no!! And I did ask for a new form :) so embarrassing!!

Xo, Rachel
A Blonde's Moment

Amy said...

I hate those forms! Either the doctor doesn't even look at them, or end up explaining what's wrong to the receptionist when you schedule the appointment, then writing it on the form, then telling the nurse when they put you in the little room, then telling the doctor again when they arrive. I wish I shared your joy.

Caitlin @ Candyfloss & Persie said...

hahah, you are a hilarious writer. And that is so, so, so funny about what you wrote. One time I was SO NERVOUS at this work event with all of these big wigs who I didn't know. They were all talking about daring things they do and they asked me if I'd gone sky diving and I replied "yes, so fun". uhhhh, def. never been sky diving and stood there the rest of the time going why TF did you just respond with that? At least when I texted my friends to tell them, we had some good laughs about what an idiot I am.

Leslie said...

Lol, love this post! I think a lot of people exaggerate in these forms, so they expect it.

Jaclyn said...

That is too funny!!!! Heyy who is to say that you're moderate walking isn't really a jog?? Its all about interpretation!

Baby Sister said...

Depending on who you're asking, moderate walking and jogging could totally be the same thing! Whenever I fill out forms like that it's very tempting to say that I do more than I actually do, but then they could end up expecting more out of me than I give, so...no thank you. But the temptation is always there!
I say wait until Memorial Day. I'm all about traditions.