i'm going back to school. kind of.

My car, affectionately known as Old Blue, is a 2009 Ford Focus.  There are many words one could use to describe my car, and quiet is not one of them.  When I turn the car on, accelerate, or drive up the slightest incline, Old Blue sounds more like a motorcycle than a than a small sedan.  And driving up a hill sounds like a helicopter is taking off.

I usually deal with this by simply turning the volume up on the radio.

On Friday night, Matt and I were going to my cousin's birthday party.  We knew parking would be tight, so we opted to take the Focus instead of Matt's F-150.  He drove, and I prepared him for the noise he would hear.

And then Old Blue was as quiet as a church mouse.

So I said "Okay, you're really going to hear the noises when you go up the hill past that light."


"Just you wait until you have to merge onto the turnpike."


Old Blue made a fool out of me.  Naturally, Matt credited the smooth and silent ride to his self-proclaimed stellar driving skills.

The next day we heard about an app that scores your driving abilities, and because we love a little competition, we both downloaded it.  The app scores you on five areas: braking, acceleration, cornering, speeding, and phone distraction.  

Matt came home on Monday night proud as a peacock because his score was a 100.  Mine was a respectable 94.  Keep in mind that Matt drives two total miles per day on quiet suburban streets to the train station.  I drive a minimum of thirty miles on the highway at rush hour.

The app tells you where you went wrong, and my infractions were for harsh cornering and speeding.  After I admitted my vehicular shortfalls, I tried to justify it by saying "Well, everyone speeds on that road."

I drive a lot for work, so I've accumulated a few hundred miles since Monday.  I'm proud to say my score has increased to an almost perfect 98.8.

As I was checking my score this morning, I get a text from Matt that said "Oh yea, police school is official."

Several weeks ago, our local police department advertised for the spring session of their Citizen's Police Academy.  Matt's dream job is to be a police officer, and I love men in uniform, so obviously we applied.

And then we joked about what would happen if one of us got accepted and the other didn't.  Neither of us have criminal records and we are upstanding citizens, but we thought it would be funny. 

After I saw Matt's text I immediately checked my email so I could read my acceptance letter.

And there was nothing.  

Newsflash.  It was not actually that funny.

And for a brief moment, I thought, "Officer Gillespie can see the app.  He knows I speed occasionally and maneuver harshly around corners."

Matt double checked his email and it turns out the officer simply spelled my name wrong.

I can't blame him, because I did the same thing.

So, we will be reporting for police school on March 1st.  My goal is to have a driving score of 100 by then.  

Hopefully I'm not pulled over for speeding in the meantime.


Katie said…
Ha! My husband and I argue about who the better driver is all the time. I must know the name of that app!
Angi said…
Which app is this!? I'm convinced I'm a better driver than my husband most of the time, and he actually IS a police officer, haha!
This is so hilarious! You guys are awesome. Would love to hear how the police school goes!!
Michelle said…
I request a whole blog series on this police school. I'm so intrigued!
Brianne said…
Woo hoo police school! What app is this?! I want it...of course I'm also scared of what it'll tell me...
Julie said…
Oooh I hate when you tell people that something doesn't work then when they are around it doesn't do it. Makes me feel like I'm stupid but I know I'm not!!!
Rebecca Jo said…
I'm totally convinced there's an app for everything now.

Police school? Really? That is so amazing...
Ah I want to download this app and prove to my husband I can drive better than he can! LOL. Also, so cool about the citizen's academy. I've never heard of something like that before!
rooth said…
Police school? You're definitely going to have to elaborate on that and what it's all about
Oh my gosh, they have police school?! I had no idea.
Wait. Are you guys going to be cop partners?!
Leslie said…
Tell us more about police school! I have a feeling you and Matt are going to be having some adventures!
Rachel said…
I've never heard of this type of training before so you'll definitely have to blog about it! In Michigan, Angel had a little Dodge Neon and that thing was so LOUD. His dad had found it lying out as junk in someone's backyard, bought it for a couple hundred, and put a running engine into it, but we always suspected that the engine wasn't quite balanced because it ran really, really loud. People who would borrow it or even just hear it running in the driveway would ask in confusion..."Is that a diesel?" Nope, just loud.
Jenny Evans said…
Oh my goodness. I'm such a terrible driver. I would get a 40 with that app. Just thinking about it makes me anxious.
Abbey Peralta said…
I need this app! haha my husband and I are always discussing (arguing) over who the better driver is and obviously a phone app would put that to the test ;) Congrats on police school! That's amazing that you both want to do the same thing!
Amie said…
I am not sure how your area does their Citizens Police Academy but I work at a police department and we offer that too. Everyone LOVES it and I am sure you will too!! I am sure there was no doubt you would get accepted! haha
Rachael Alexis said…
Confession...I think I am a great driver.
Confession...I think everyone else on the road other than myself is a terrible driver.
Confession...I have pitiful road rage that could get me into anger management.
Confession...My boyfriend and I work in the same building often during the same shifts and can no longer leave in separate cars at the same time because I will cut him off.

Safe to say, you are both better than me! Have a good weekend, Laura.

XOXO Rachael
Erica Ashley said…
Interesting! I do not know what police school is! However, I do know that I will not download that app and give my fiancé any ideas hahaha I love that you guys did that though!!
Haha, this is seriously so funny! Can't wait to hear more about it.
I kind of want to download this app... but I kind of think it would cause catastrophic damage to my marriage because my husband thinks he's THE BEST DRIVER EVER... and I... well. I disagree sometimes. ;)
Betsy said…
That always happens to me. Especially at work with IT! Something wrong happens and then when I go to show them does it do it, nope!
Sooo I've never heard of a citizens police academy - is that kind of like neighbourhood watch? I am totally intrigued!
Eek! What a fun thing to do together! Can't wait to hear all about it!
Chloe said…
I love your blog. It never fails to make me laugh! But seriously what app is this? I need it in my life like yesterday.