I went to Ikea this weekend with Emily, my mom, grandmother, and aunt. Despite the fact that the latter three have places of their very own to furnish and decorate, and I only have my little bedroom, I spent the most money. Go figure.
We wandered around the store and the model rooms and Emily and I talked about how much fun it would be to live in them. On our way out we made one last stop at the food court for some famous Ikea Swedish cuisine, because as they say, when in Rome! Or in this case, when in a Swedish based furniture warehouse store! I chose the traditional Swedish cinnamon bun and Emily got a slice of Swedish pizza. I'm sure it was all completely authentic.
My biggest purchase of the day was a little lamp for my dresser. It was love at first sight and I really thought I could see a bright (literally) future with that little lamp, but in the end it proved to be a bit of a disappointment.
When we got home I opened the box and pulled out the instructions. Or the “destructions” as my dad calls them. I headed for the light bulb cabinet to retrieve the required 40 watt bulb. After a few minutes of unsuccessful searching, my dad came in and pulled a 40 watt right out of the exact box that I looked in thirty seconds earlier and found only light bulbs with 120 on them and wondered why in the world we had so many 120 watt bulbs.
Then gave me a valuable refresher course in wattage vs. voltage.
I headed back upstairs to Lamp Assembly Central and immediately found myself in the midst of another dilemma. There is no rest for the weary lamp assembler. The problem this time was that the bottom of the light bulb was round, but the place where the light bulb goes (I’m sure there’s a technical term for that part of the lamp, but-here’s a shock-I don’t know what it is) was shaped more like a rectangular slot.
Right here in River City.
Music Man, anyone?
Anyway I knew after a few minutes that this particular light bulb wasn’t meant to fit in this particular lamp, and if you think this is starting to sound like one of those “how many English majors does it take to screw in a light bulb?” jokes, you’re not alone.
(Although the answer would be MORE THAN ONE.)
I sat there for a few minutes with my rectangular lamp and my round light bulb and thought about how I’ve never felt more in tune with how Hilary Duff felt in her 2003 SMASH HIT when she sang “Trying to fit a square into a circle was my life.”
I hear ya, Hilary.
The next day my dad confirmed that apparently this particular lamp requires some sort of Swedish light bulb, which is quite unfortunate because I don’t generally keep a stock of those on hand.
So, last night I got on ebay and ordered what I needed from a light bulb dealer in Hong Kong . If there was ever a time I was doubtful about the reliability of an online purchase…now is that time. Of course I could have easily just driven over to Ikea and picked up the type of bulb I need, but where is the drama in that?
And so, my lamp currently sits on my desk. I can’t even sing “you light up my life” to it because, well, that would be a lie.
Don't worry about me though...I’m not completely in the dark. Because do you know what my other Ikea purchase was this weekend?
108 fruit scented votive candles.
It’s like somehow I knew I would be needing them.