Thursday, June 14, 2012

the one without a clever conclusion

Well, today was a strange day.

It all started when I stopped by the grocery store on the way to work.  We were having a little birthday celebration for a co-worker this morning and, not surprisingly, I was in charge of bringing the funk. 

Oh just kidding.  I was in charge of bringing the flowers. 

True to form I found myself overwhelmed with the options and spent about ten minutes deliberating between purple daisies or some gorgeous sunflowers.  As I was looking I heard a voice say, "Excuse me, are the roses part of the $9.99 sale as well?"  I kept my attention focused on the task at hand until a moment later when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I turned around and saw a man standing next to me.  "Excuse me young lady- I asked you to tell me if the roses are part of the $9.99 sale."

"I'm sorry, I said, "I don't work here."

"Oh," he replied.  "Well you SURE look like you do."  

I glanced down for a second to make sure that I hadn't accidentally gotten dressed that morning in khaki pants, a hunter green golf shirt, matching baseball cap, and giant button proclaiming ASK ME ABOUT DOUBLE COUPONS! 

Sure enough I wearing a black dress with tiny white polka dots and a cute little bow, and black high heels. I am going to choose to think that the gentleman thought I was an employee not because I looked like one in the physical sense, but rather because I was exuding botanical knowledge.  That's what happens when you volunteer to be the gardener for the rooftop garden at work I guess.  COMES WITH THE TERRITORY.

I decided on the daisies and we had our little breakfast birthday celebration at work, and then it was time to pack up for what was going to be a full day at court.  Another paralegal was going with me, and we each had a cart with two huge boxes of files.  Getting the files from our office to the courtroom took thirty four minutes and required two security guards, access to the VIP elevator, one band-aid, and four sheriff's deputies.  

When we finally, AND I DO MEAN FINALLY, got to the courtroom, there was a woman already there that I didn't recognize.  She walked right over to me and said, "Good morning! Are you an intern?"

What I really wanted to do what say "I  FEEL LIKE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM TODAY," but she was nice and I get the intern question quite frequently I just said, "No, I'm the paralegal."

And then I gave her floral advice!

The day was extremely long it didn't help that the fire alarm went off at about 2:00, prompting a courthouse-wide evacuation and LOTSA CHAOS.  We finally finished up the hearings around 4:00, and I'm sorry to say that by that time my strength was severely depleted since the court hadn't recessed for lunch and all I had to eat was 13 goldfish crackers and half of a Special K bar. 

As we packed up to go back to the office my coworker and I strapped two boxes onto the first cart successfully, but when we attempted to strap the boxes on the second cart we discovered that the strap was stuck in the wheel, and due to our aforementioned lack of strength, we decided to walk carefully and just fix it when we got back to the office. 

We made it out of the courthouse, but evidently we didn't walk carefully enough because as we proceeded onto the sidewalk, I watched in what felt like slow motion as the preciously balanced top box of files tumbled right off the cart right onto pavement.  We both stopped in our tracks, and for half a second I didn't know if I was going to laugh or cry.  And then we started laughing - the kind that is silent for several seconds because you are laughing so hard you can't catch your breath. 

We quickly composed ourselves and got the files back into the box, but as we were kneeling on the sidewalk in our dresses and high heels surrounded by boxes and carts and purses I said, "It would be just our luck for someone we know to walk by right this minute."

And do you know what happened right that minute?

The attorney that I used to work with came strolling around the corner.  "Look!  It's my two favorite paralegals!" she said as she saw us.  And then she offered to stand on the sidewalk with our files so that we could bring the car around and avoid having to transport all of our equipment to the parking garage.

In the end we got the boxes more securely loaded and made it to the car without any additional spills.

There is one more notable event from the day, but I will save that for the next post because HOW MUCH EXCITEMENT CAN FIT INTO ONE POST?


poptartyogini said...

Seriously your post are so entertaining and hilarious. I can't believe that guy thought you looked like you worked in the floral department. People are bizarre.

Lisamarie said...

Oh my gosh... I just found your blog. Thank you for commenting on mine. But you are seriously hilarious. I am a litigation attorney in Southern California. I wish I was a paralegal. Or a tanning salon receptionist. I was totally involved in a courthouse fire drill evacuation once. And my heel got caught in a crack in the sidewalk when we were trying to get back in and I ate it so hard face first into the sidewalk. Horribly embarassing it. I would have rather dropped a gazillion files instead. But both situations suck. And at any time I will accept your floral advice. I kill my patio plants once a week, but they are forgiving and always perk back up when I decide to water them. Poor, loyal greenies. Count me as a new follower!

Jay said...

Wow, that sounds like quite the day! Your outfit sounds completely adorable. And I love your new blog banner!

Ashley said...

Now I want to see pics of the flowers!!

Baby Sister said...

I got asked if I worked at Wallie World once. And I was wearing my work clothes. The ones that say Linden Nursery on the shirt. Kind of made me laugh.

Ashley said...

Oh my word, you are so funny. I've enjoyed reading a few of your recent posts! I feel like you are talking about one of my days!