My older brother, Phil, and I work at the same office. While this is not a horrible situation, let me assure you that it was not at all intentional, since that would just be weird. I'll share what happened, because I am a fan of providing an adequate foundation in the form of a background story. I applied to a blind job posting online right after graduation, and it just happened to be Phil's office, and they called me, and now we not only live in the same house, but work at the same place. Oh, the coincidences in life. They are coincidental.
Today after Phil ate lunch, he came into the room where I was working to share some BREAKING CULINARY NEWS with me. Evidently there had been some fifth grade style bartering going on in the kitchen, and in exchange for some beef jerky he scored a bag of fancy cheetos.
Just a brief aside. Even if he had scored regular old cheetos as opposed to these "fancy" ones, I still think he came out the winner. Because beef jerky? I WOULD RATHER EAT DIRT.
Back to the story. Those were his exact words. FANCY cheetos. Now, I don't know that I have ever heard Phil use the word fancy to describe anything before, so I knew this had to be monumental, and I was intrigued. It had never occurred to me to pair the words "fancy" and "cheetos", but obviously I was just missing out on this wonder of the world. Phil assured me that these cheetos were not just a delightful, crunchy, salty, cheesy snack treat, but they were in fact downright FANCY. He told me which cabinet he had stashed them in, and imagine my surprise when I went to the kitchen, opened the cabinet, and saw these...
Frito Lay has apparently now joined the ranks of "fancy." I think Phil should let them know.
Tonight Emily and I were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. She is fourteen years old and at the stage where one moment she thinks I am SO COOL and a FANTASTIC big sister, and the next she doesn't even want to look at me. It's charming, really. Tonight her mood fit right into the latter category. I know this because she cranked up her iPod as loud as she could and then...didn't look at me. Listen, I can take a hint. But if you think for one second that her goal to completely disregard my presence hindered my chatting and funny jokes, you have grossly underestimated my conversation determination.
While I had a one-sided conversation and Emily did her best to ignore me, my parents were in the family room watching some old war movie which involved A LOT of shooting. 'Twas a peaceful evening all around, apparently. When we were almost finished the dishes Emily paused, took off her headphones, and asked, "Are Mom and Dad watching a show with a lot of shooting?" We were silent for a few moments as we listened to the shots coming from the tv in the family room, and I told her that yes, I was fairly confident that the movie involved a gun or eighty seven and also perhaps the world's largest battle. "Oh good," she said with relief in her voice, "I didn't know if it was my music or not." Well. I wasn't aware that Em had a shootout track on her iPod so I asked her what she was listening to that could have possibly included a deadly gun battle. "The Spring Awakening soundtrack," she responded.
And I laughed. I laughed and laughed and then Emily started to laugh because Spring Awakening?! SPRING AWAKENING? What a peaceful, calm, happy name! Surely the Spring Awakening soundtrack could contain nothing but light, airy, cheerful music and happy, smiley characters!
Turns out Emily had no clue what the play was actually about, so we were both in for a Rude Awakening when we googled the play's synopsis a few hours later. It seems as though the playwright thought of every single horrible thing in the world, and crammed it into a few acts. And let's just say that compared to the rest of the play, a gun battle would have been like comic relief. Sort of like Phil and Em. Gotta love 'em.