Monday, October 25, 2010

what about a bulldog?

A brand spankin' new Home Goods opened last week just a few minutes from our house, and my mom and I spent Friday evening wandering up and down aisle after glorious aisle of bargain priced home decor.  The saying "an elephant at any price is not a bargain" ran through my mind many times Friday night.  And thank heavens it did, because if not, I would have been all..."Oh, is that a gigantic ice bucket shaped like a penguin?  And for only $3.99?!  DON'T MIND IF I DO! Are those screen printed gorilla throw pillows really JUST $4.50?  I'LL TAKE TWO!  And OH MY WORD I have SO been in the market for a fairly  creepy Phantom of the Opera style nutcracker for the upcoming holiday season!  And at only $7.99, I'LL BE LOSING MONEY IF I DON'T BUY IT!

Elephants, Laura.

So just because those aforementioned items and their sub-ten dollar price tags would have fit perfectly into my budget, I didn't buy them.  Because I have zero use for an ice bucket that's pretending to be a penguin, throw pillows with gorilla faces on them, and a creepy nutcracker.  And, well, they were ugly. 

And because, of course, an elephant at any price isn't a bargain.


What about a bulldog statue?  A life size, vibrantly painted, high heeled, bulldog?
 What if she has false eyelashes and a seemingly misplaced tuft of jet black hair in the middle of her forehead?
 And wears not one, not two, but three sparkly, dangly, rhinestoney earrings?
At what price exactly does this bulldog become a bargain?  Because right now, it's on sale at the local Home Goods for the low, low price of $69.99!  Sixty!  Nine!  Ninety!  Nine!

And I don't even know what to say about that.

P.S.-My mom and I examined this "unique" piece of "art" for about five minutes on Friday night.  Trying to figure it out.  WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?  And then we brought my sister back on Saturday.  Because seriously, some things you just have to see to believe.


Leah said...

I've actually never been in a Home Goods store before. Hmmm, seems to have some interesting things in there...: )

MissEmy said...

I have a Home Goods stores in one of my shopping locations! I've only been in it to buy stationary/letter writing paper. They fit A LOT of stuff in one store. And that bulldog is hideous. It would make a fantastic Christmas gift though... as long as you didn't like the person. ;)

stephanieamber said...

PHE.NOM.EN.AL. I NEED THAT. like NEED IT. I moved into an apartment with some friends at the beginning of sept and have been barely scraping by but now that i have a job, my friendlies are going to be appalled at the crap i bring home. i am buying shelves, because i am collecting things that are beautifully unique.

imagine if you owned the house that housed that dog. i mean, seriously. imagine. you'd be the coolest person ever.

Anonymous said...

Heehee...I'm with MissEmy - great (cheap) gifts for the person "who has everything"! The gift that keeps on giving.

Julianna said...

I haven't even heard of Home Goods (what does that say about me? Deprived?) Is it like Hobby Lobby or something?

Sarah said...

You crack me up every single time you write! We would get along so well together if we ever met. Maybe someday we should meet in between Pennsylvania and Massachusetts and going shopping together because OH MY WORD the similarities in our shopping style! If it's under $10, I have such a hard time talking myself out of buying something even if I don't need it! :)

Kristin said...

Home Goods is dangerous for me...I never seem to walk out of there without something...much like Target. HA! But, I think I could resist that little number.