Tuesday, March 29, 2011

planes (not really), trains, and automobiles

I had to go to school last night, and I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it because I felt as though I caught the plague and tried all day to get some sympathy, but was largely unsuccessful. 

Talk about kicking me when I’m down.

I’m looking for the silver lining though and I have to say that last night’s drive home from school was better than the one a week ago when I drove home in a lovely mixture of rain and sleet and snow because apparently Mother Nature has not yet received the memo that THE SPRING…IT HAS TECHNICALLY ARRIVED.

Speaking of spring, Stacy and I have decided that when the weather gets a little nicer, we’re going to go into the city one day and walk around because let’s face it, there is a limit to how many times you can aimlessly wander up and down the health and beauty aisles at Wal Mart and we’re dangerously close to reaching it.

Most likely we will be taking the train into the city because listen, I am not about to drive Old Blue into the city.  I know some people drive in the city every day, and big ups to those people, but I am not one of them.  In fact, last Friday night I went into the city to go out with some friends and also prove that I am the muse for Flo Rida’s song “Club Can’t Handle Me.”  Although perhaps the order of those words should be reversed because as we were walking down the street trying to decide which bar to go into, I announced that “I WOULD LIKE TO FIND A PLACE THAT IS NOT TOO CROWDED AND ALSO WHERE I CAN COMFORTABLY SIT DOWN.”  

And it wouldn’t hurt if they have a senior citizen discount for grandma here.

Oh, Flo Rida would be so proud.

On the way into the city I actually had to cover my eyes because the combination of bumpy cobblestone streets and four cars packed into two lanes does not a calm experience make.  I wasn’t driving, so rest assured that it was completely safe for me to cover my eyes.  However, I can’t promise I wouldn’t instinctively do the same thing if I was behind the wheel, which could throw a wrench into a lovely springtime afternoon in the city.

AND SO, Stacy and I will take the train.  Although trains aren’t my strong suit either, so Stacy will be navigating.  Unless of course we decide that we would like to spend the afternoon somewhere other than Philadelphia, in which case, LET ME LEAD THE WAY.  

I don’t take the train into the city all that often, but when I do, I am usually with Matt.  I just follow his lead because he knows the difference between R-2 and R-3 and the R-17.486 and whether we should get off at Market East or Suburban Station or 30th Street, which is all Greek to me.  However, since I don't have to decide which train to board or which side of the track to stand on, I am totally freed up to take pictures of the glamorous experience that is mass transit, so, you know, BONUS.

The one and only time I have been in charge figuring out the public transportation for a trip was when my roommate Heather and I decided to take the bus to Target in college one day freshman year and things went terribly wrong.  There are BUSES GALORE at Penn State so I looked at the schedule, found the one that I thought made the Target loop, and away we went.  

Well, as we were traveling along we noticed that tons of people were getting off the bus and no one was getting on.  Before we knew it we were the only two people left on that bus, and it was then that we realized we were in a wee bit of trouble.  

Turns out the bus we got on wasn’t going to Target at all.  I had apparently misunderstood the bus schedule big time.  The bus driver just shook his head, dropped us on the side of the road at the end of his route, and told us we would just have to wait for a rescue bus to come and get us.  

A rescue bus.

Now, the bus driver was just disgusted with us when he realized what we had done, and it wouldn’t have surprised us in the least if he didn’t call us a rescue bus.  However, we decided to wait it out for a little while and sat on the curb and called our mothers and our friends and our godmothers’ hairdresser’s fourth cousin twice removed to tell them that WE GOT ON THE WRONG BUS TO GO TO TARGET AND NOW WE’RE SITTING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WAITING FOR A RESCUE BUS TO COME AND SAVE US AND ISN’T THAT JUST THE FUNNIEST THING?

We had no shame.

Sure enough about forty five minutes later, the rescue bus showed up and took us the rest of the way to Target.  We were the only ones on that rescue bus.  They sent it out specifically to find the girls who couldn’t figure out the bus schedule.  

I will admit- that was a little bit embarrassing.

And that is why I feel it is a responsible decision to appoint Stacy as the navigational beacon on our big city adventure.  I have a funny feeling that the Philadelphia mass transit system doesn’t send out rescue trains for the girl who cannot accurately read the train schedule.

Plus, someone will need to step up and take pictures of the train station walls and the extra long escalators, and I’m willing to rise to the occasion.  It’s for the best.


Chloe said...

this is funny!!
Hope you have a good time in the city!

GreenGirl said...

That story is PRICELESS!!! HAHA!
Your picture of Market East (which as you know, I drive in the city daily...) makes me laugh and think of July two years ago. I was at reading Terminal, having lunch with Colleen and decided to do some shopping for groceries. I purchased a coconut...like a whole coconut and a pineapple. Both of those items require some sort of instrument or sharp knife to actually eat them...and sharp knives and I, historically, do not get a long.
Clearly, they were trashed after a week of just sitting in a bowl on my kitchen table.
Enjoy your time here! ALSO, you CANNOT come here and NOT have CAPPOGIRO. You have to try the Thai Coconut Milk (what's with my obsession with coconut today??). You will thank me later. It's my new vice since giving up the sauce and the caffeine.

On a sidebar....did you see all of the TU and PSU kids outside of Corbett's office? He's trying to cut the funding....soooo soooo wrong.

Sarah said...

I've been composing a post in my head with the same exact title(minus the 'not really')! I promise I won't be copying you if I use it! ;)

Teenage Bride said...

I always come here when I need a good laugh :)

At least your public transportation systems are pretty.... ours ... not so much haha

stephanie said...

first of all, i love that a trip to "the city" is an adventure. i mean... i legitimately love it and wish that i could say the same. how long does it take?

and who even knew they had things like RESCUE BUSES? THAT IS SO AWESOME! for me, because i didn't have to ride on one. oh the adventures you have.

ae said...

Have fun in the city! And it probably is a good idea to pass on the navigating responsibility;)

Things to Do said...

The one thing I've found is that once you get one public transportation system down you usually are good to go with others. That said it took me a long while and a lot of
'oops - that was my stop wasn't it?' and 'I don't think this is right' moments!

Have a great visit!

garden state prep said...

I can navigate NYC mass transit like a pro but when it comes to Philadelphia, I'm hopeless!

Heidi said...

I'm getting married in 2 months, and moving to Philly from Oklahoma. My fiancé already lives there (he is in optometry school at PCO) but we have had numerous arguments about public transportation. He loves it, I would rather be rich and have a driver! Glad to see that even people that have lived in the area for years is not a fan of the PT.

{Selma} Crazy Little World Of Mine said...

Haha, believe it or not but I miss riding the train into Philly. It always calmed me, and somehow made me happy. ;)

Have a great weekend.

Baby Sister said...

Hahahaha...you crack me up.