I had a big project to finish this weekend for one of my paralegal classes, and I’ll be honest, by 9:00 last night I was ready to just skip the whole hypothetical trial, sentence the hypothetical defendant to life in prison, and call it a day. But three things stopped me from doing that:
1- The point of the assignment was not to decide the sentencing.
2- Paralegals aren’t really allowed to determine the fate of accused murders, hypothetical or otherwise.
3- INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY. I had the hypothetical murderer spending the rest of his life behind bars before he even had a chance to exercise his sixth amendment rights to a fair and speedy trial. How unconstitutional of me.
Part of the reason I was wrapping up this assignment 9:00 the night before it was due is because Michelle and I spent the afternoon at the mall "Christmas shopping," which took precedence over a hypothetical murder case since there are only THIRTY FOUR SHOPPING DAYS LEFT UNTIL CHRISTMAS, and plus, we had a lot of talking to do. I promise we went with great intentions of buying gifts for family and friends, but somehow ended up just buying a few things for ourselves and then going out to dinner. Whoever said it is better to give than to receive obviously never encountered a $4.99 scarf sale.
As we wandered the mall it was evident that no matter how much protesting Thanksgiving fans do to please just let their holiday have its day in the sun, the Christmas season is very much upon us. Also, I did hear the song Christmas Shoes on the radio last week, and everyone knows it's just not Christmas until you hear a song about a very poor child who has a dying mother without a single pair of nice shoes. If that doesn't put you right into the holly, jolly spirit, then I don't know what will.
Speaking of Michelle, I was filling out a job application today that required a few references, and you couldn't include family members or previous employers. So that meant Michelle made the cut. She assured me that if she is contacted, she will give me a glowing recommendation, and “tell them they should give me a job in accounts payable because in college I always paid the rent on time, and always a different amount to keep people on their toes!”
There is nothing but truth behind that statement. Michelle and I lived in an apartment with a few other girls junior year, and the rent was $375 a month per girl. There was not one month where I paid $375. Not one. I overpaid every single month. There was no real method to my overpaying madness except that I always just added in a late fee automatically for some reason that I cannot explain. So sometimes I paid $380. Other times I paid $400. Occasionally I paid $395. It was like I was planning in advance to pay my rent late. What's even stranger is that the rental office was right on the first floor of our building and my rent was not late once. Yet I kept on writing checks for all sorts of amounts between $375 and about $410 month after month. You can just imagine the headache that ensued when we got the security deposit back a few months after we moved out and were just perplexed at all the strange numbers under my name. My dad is an accountant, so he had the job of figuring out who got what, and also why in the world his daughter paid such odd amounts every month as opposed to the standard $375 like everyone else. I think the most accurate answer is that "I like to keep people on their toes," just as Michelle said. I'm sure the women in the billing office totally appreciated that.
I think I'll stick to my paralegal plan.